Sex Should NOT Hurt!

Sex should not hurt. Here are some reasons why it might & tips for decreasing pain. If hurting doesn't improve quickly, talk to your doctor


I am a 17-year-old girl, and I want to know why it hurts so much when my boyfriend and I have sex?

Dr. Greene's Answer

Sex hurts? How unsettling! And much more common than you might imagine. Doctors have a name for this; we call it dyspareunia (pronounced dis-pah-ROO-ne-ah). Most women have gone through a stage in which intercourse is painful; in up to a third of women, this has lasted a long time. 1 There are many reasons why having sex can hurt.

Before we look at some of the more common reasons, I’d like to say a word about communication. Sometimes sex is hard to talk about. I’ m very glad you asked your question here. Dyspareunia can be solved, one way or another, for people who are willing to ask about it.

One of the key things to learn during your current difficulties is that it’s important to talk with your partner about what is going on. Tell your boyfriend why you like him and what feels good when you are together. But also tell him when something hurts. Learning to work together is an important part of sex.

Sex Should NOT Hurt

What might be causing the pain depends on whether sex has always hurt or if this is a recent development; whether it hurts every time or only sometimes; and (perhaps most importantly) whether you feel the greatest pain when the penis first enters or once it is in deeply.


If you hurt as the penis first enters, the most common problem is not enough lubrication. Friction in this sensitive area can hurt! Your organs normally get wet and slippery as part of sexual arousal. Taking more time for sexual play before intercourse is often all that is needed to turn a painful experience into a pleasant one. Too fast is usually too dry.

A water-based lubricant (do not use lotion, baby oil, or Vaseline) you pick up at the drugstore can work wonders, but don’t ignore the reason for decreased lubrication, if you know what it is.


Fear, too, can decrease lubrication. Fear of infection, fear of pregnancy, and fear about the relationship are all common. Abuse or incest can leave you dry until the real hurt is healed.


Pain on insertion might also come from inflamed external genitals. The tissue might be inflamed from a yeast infection, warts, herpes, or some other infection. Sometimes the area is tender from a benign cyst called a Bartholin’s gland cyst. All of these conditions require medical treatment.

First Time

Intercourse can also remain painful as long as the hymen is partly intact. If you can insert a tampon comfortably, a mechanical obstruction is not likely.

Deep Penetration

Pain with deep penetration usually comes from the deeper organs being tender. This includes the ovaries, uterus, bladder, and even the intestines. At your age, the most common reasons for deep pain are ovarian cysts, a retroverted uterus (positioned so it gets bumped during intercourse), abdominal adhesions (in people who have had abdominal surgery), and an infection called pelvic inflammatory disease.

Many other, less common conditions (such as inflammatory bowel disease) can also make you hurt. In some positions (such as lying on the side), penetration is not as deep, and sex might be more comfortable.

Take Action

But if the hurting doesn’t improve quickly, you’ll also need to talk to your doctor about the pain. Be sure to tell them whether the pain has always been there or is new. Describe what hurts most and when. Work together to identify the cause. Don’ t stop asking about this until you understand why sex hurts and until you’ve gotten relief from the pain. Having sex shouldn’t have to hurt.
Footnote References:
1 Glatt, AE, Zinner SH, McCormack WM. The prevalence of dysparenia. Obstet Gynecol 1990;75:433.

Last medical review on: January 30, 2015
About the Author
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Dr. Greene is a practicing physician, author, national and international TEDx speaker, and global health advocate. He is a graduate of Princeton University and University of California San Francisco.
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Recent Comments

I lost my virginity at 15 for a guy 10+yrs set than me. The thing is I never felt pleasure during sex. A little fraction of my clitoris gives me a little pleasure. But during penetration, I don’t feel anything. I’m 24 now and never try to have sex for 7 yrs because I’m scared and terrified of not feeling anything.

How do I talk to my boyfriend about the pain? I feel bad because I can’t give him every part of me.

He probably already knows something is up. Likely he’d be relieved that there is a physical problem that you might be able to get help with — it’s not that you don’t want him. Maybe say something like “I feel really bad about this, but something is wrong physically. I’m going to go see a doctor and see if I can get help so I don’t feel pain when we have sex.” I bet he’ll be happy you’re getting help.

I’m a 29 year old adult. Sex has always been painful for me, ever since the very first time. Since the years have gone by more specific pains have happened. More so penetratation had always been and issue, but it’s always the upper part of my pelvic area internally. Something about the initial insertion is always the worst part, because of a intense pain/burning/almost stinging sensation that had kept me away from sex all together. Even when or if I can bring myself to push past that pain, to deep insertion becomes a problem. I’m constantly having to stop in the act because of some kind of internal pain. I’ve done research and read about others expierences. None quite fit my own issue. I’ve potentially given up on the entire idea of any kind of penetration what so ever.

One time me and my boyfriend was having sex and I was on top and I told him to lift and his penis went in me hard and hit something in my vaginal and I was hurting badly until the next day it was hurting when I walked & I’m scared to have sex now

dear we are having the same problems that the way am always feeling too

Doctor pls am Catherine and am 20 years of age and had wanted to hv sex with my boyfriend but after our foreplay he tried inserting his hand in my vagina but i felt pains am virgin and does nt knw may be tht is my first time but now is paining me inside wht should i do plz help me.

Hi Doc

My vigina always swallon after sex i do not now why because it become very thick and it hurts too much
Plz help Doc

Am 23 yrs since i had sex it has always been painful since my partner had to force his penis to penetrate in to my vagina and after a short time when it penetrate i become dry and i wonder what happens or what is wrong with me please help


I’m 16 years old and a virgin, and me and my boyfriend are trying to have sex but it really hurts for me. I’ve never been able to comfortably insert a tampon either, so I was worried about my first time initially. We tried it and it didn’t work out for me. It mainly just hurts where he’s trying to insert and I can tell it feels good under all the pain, but the pain is too much to keep going. Should we just get lots of lube and have him wear a condom? I’m really frustrated at myself because I know he wants it and I do too.

Hi all ive jst read all ur msgs an i hve the exact same pain during intercourse its vry sad to feel such pain in such an intamite time wen u are supose to relax an enjoy the moment wth the 1 u love…

My experience al startd wth a vry vry bad bladder infection tht i had no clue abt as i handle pain vry wel – bt prior to the pain i cld hve sex in any position any angel an id b fine bt nrmal sensitive as i usualy am.. Bt 1nce i figured out abt my UTI an gth tht fixed an sorted by then i was stil dating my bf as i am nw 2yrs in he was a virgin bt i wasnt bt i had a clean bill of health to .. Bt going bck to the pain i tel u it gt so bad an reali uncomfortable i use to scream an cry an smetimes nt evn do those things bt huff an puff an almost hypoventilate an i also cldnt move an i cldnt do much either as i also cldnt evn talk or evn breath neither as the pain startd from inside my Vagina it also traveled almost like a icky milkshake periody feeling bt pain tht only grew stronger no matter wat i dd an al i cld do was b walkd to tge loo to sit on the loo… To thn hve my bf grab a face cloth an wet it wth warm water to hold over my lower abdomen an wait for either me to vom or hve a stool or urinate an funi enough nothing hppnd bt my almost fainting an excruciating pain an the nding to do both ends bt i finaly manged to wait b paitent an slowly the pain went away slowly droping til nothing.. I thn caught my breath an managed to pass gass an urunate wch helpd alot.. I then kept hvibg episodes til i was actly scared of hving sex wth my bf bt thnkfuly wth him being paitent an kind an careing we tryd an it cldnt cm right so i went to the gyno an she said al is in order an tht i jst hve bruzing deep inside due to my BAD UTI i recently gt rid off a few months back an tht i shold b paitent to an keep trying difrnt angels an so i went out an gt K.Y Gell for a lub as i was also experienceing bad sideeffects from the purfumed lubs tht i was also unaware of an so a few months go by an nw to this day i stil experience pain bt touch wood i find on a bad day wen its time to hve sex an i feel bloated like nothings gna fit inside me i usualy use a pillow under my bum an on my back or i try being ontop wch smetines helps as i cn control wer certain things go an evn thn its hard bt i hve found tht if im bent on my elbows an kneess wth my bum pushd out an my feet on my toes nxt to my mans legs tht are bent it helps an hang of alot as wel as the site thts sore is also the “knob” so to spk wch i find on my left so the min my man enters me he knws aim in slowly vry slowy an to ur right thn i warm up tht way an he dsnt go near the “knob” if he dse we stop an he repositions himself an me an i tel u i hve reali battled bt this has helpd me so wel.. Bt pls make sure tht if u do a position wer u feel like a icky shaky milky feeling of pain gna cm on for those who experience this stop imediatly an chnge postion an pls b calm an paitent wth eachother an keep trying till u find wat works for u. Bt yes ive also 1 last thing found tht if im ontop an i feel tht sensation i jst described i stop an i imediatly turn around an go slowly an ajst breath bt stil try hve sex an it worked 1nc an it went away so pls try. As im gna keep doing this until i find a hppy medium bt otherwise i hope this helps xxx

SO I lost my virginity but now it hurts to pee, before I lost it, it never did… is this normal?

Sounds like a UTI (urinary tract infection). Super common after sex. You’ll likely need an antibiotic to get over it. FYI, if you pee right after sex, you’re less likely to get UTIs in the future. Peeing washes away bacteria that can get into your urinary tract during intercourse. In the short run, call your doctor to get the right meds.

Why do women and doctors (who should know better) try to figure out causes for painful sex while totally ignoring that most men in this country are missing a vital part of their penis? Of course it’s dry and uncomfortable with a calloused, dried out glans and without mobile skin on the penis. It’s basic anatomy, not rocket science.

Victoria is my name
Doctor please I also feels pains when ever my husband’s penis enters me deeply….I don’t even have the desire to have sex with him….and am afraid I will loose my husband… Doctor please help me out because I don’t have money for hospital bill too

im about to have sex after25 years im 69 years now will i have problems with dryness in the vagina

Hi Sandra,

We’re primarily a pediatric site used by parents and grandparents for their kids and grandkids health questions, but this is a very valid inquiry.

It’s very likely you will have dryness and shrinkage. I don’t know if any of our readers have suggestions, but it would be great if folks could chime in …

Best of luck!
Note: I am the co-founder of, but I am not Dr. Greene and I am not a doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies.

VuVa Magnetic Vaginal dilators work very well for painful sex. Saved my sex life with my husband because I have Vulvodynia.

Tara Langdale

I have pain during intercourse. The pain is always in the same spot and feels like I was rubbed raw. It goes away within 24 hours. It doesn’t matter what position we are in. We use plenty of lub and I always have an orgasim before intercourse. Our intercourse is always deep and rough with my legs in the air. But that does not seem to be the problem. It always hurts in the same spot. After intercourse a cold wash cloth on it always make it feel better but starts hurting again when I remove the washcloth. My husband’s penis is curved to one side. Could this be the problem? Could it be rubbing in the wrong spot?


I start feeling pains once his penis touches my vaginal,could it be that am scared or because am still a virgin, even after the foreplay I still don’t get free with him or it is because I don’t love him please I need help,I don’t want This to affect me in future

Doctor i would like to ask you that though i am 19 years old and when i have sex with my husband it hurts a little then i become comfortable.But as soon as i stand up it hurts so badly that sometimes i get collapsed on the floor and sometimes i faint also..Doctor please help.

I get pain when me and my boyfriend are having sex i dont know why didnt happen before feels like vagina is swollen from inside or something cause it hurts and not pleasant in any position we do. I dont know why it hurts only when having sex.

My self AFSHAN i m 16 years old n i have been experiencing itching and discharge is thick and white like curd it is almost from 1 year and always i get pain in my lower left side of my stomach and also i get pelvic pain during my periods at that time my condition vill b too bad .and i had chech up with doctor who is gynecologic she said to take a scanning then I had a scanning in that my report had come like I m having an infection in my utters and She said because of this it pains and she gave me a tables (DOXY-1 L-DR FORTE) for 15 days…then i had fallen in love with my friend n he is 21 years and we meet each other twice a weak i dnt feel comfortable when he is with me we both have never cross our limits we both just do smooch and I feel shy because of the discharge of white .and also he had never forced me to do sex e.t.c…. due to this I will not b able to do sex n other things and we actually doesn’t do this because he know that those things hurt me he is already aware of my problems …… And my growth is not good I m so short and my boyfriend is tall .And I exactly doesn’t understand what is really wrong with me ……so please can u help me out doctor from this problems then I will be so thankful to u and I will be proud to seek help from you……

If you are going through this much discomfort and are experiencing discharge you need to be visiting your doctor immediately and not be asking questions on a blog. I know that talking to another person face to face can be uncomfortable but this is your body were talking about and a doctor is a professional. You don’t have to be ashamed or worry about others finding out what you discussed. Ignoring the problem will for sure only lead to further complications and you could end up hospitalized. Then everyone will for sure want to know what happened.

I get a pain in my lower right side during intercourse. Some times I have during certain positions and other times I don’t. It pretty much goes away after he pulls out. It’s been happening a lot more during some positions that we both like a lot. We try to switch it up. It’s not always deep penetration either. I’m not bleeding. Not on period. Same partner for a long time. ???


Sounds like it’s time for an exam by a Gyn. I won’t guess about what it is (I’m not a doctor), but I bet there’s something going on that is physical and “fixable”.

I hope that helps.
Best, @MsGreene
Note: I am the co-founder of, but I am not Dr. Greene and I am not a doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies.

Hi my name is Madi and I’m 18 and have been have sex for over 3 years with my boyfriend he was my first and I have never been able to enjoy sex. It has always hurt and felt very uncomfortable and I have no idea why. It’s very annoying and I’m at the point I just don’t want to do it. I’m only 18 and feel like I will never enjoy or want to do it. I just want to know why this is happening

I’m 16 and I have been with my boyfriend for a year and half…We only really have sex on the weekend about twice a day due to him working. On the 15th of December I got a operation down below to remove a skin tag ( I had a septate hymen) anywho, sex is still rlly painful, we gave it around a month before having sex again after my operation and it just so painful when he enters me. Is this normal? How can I reduce the pain?

Having sex at the age of 15 was more then likely a traumatic experiecnce as you were way too young mentally and physically to be having sex. It maybe that having sex at this age has scarred you as he made you feel guilty for not doing it with him and you were pressured into something that you were not ready to do. Just because your 18 now the pressure that was put on you still holds in your mind and your body is rejecting it. Moving on and starting another relationship with another man may be all it takes. For as long as you stay with this person the guilt feeling will be in the back of your mind and never go away.

Hi Holly,
Thanks for writing in! It makes sense that an operation would make sex painful for a while. Have you told your doctor, and did you get any recommendations for how long it will take to recover?
Hope that helps!
Alexandra (caring helper at, not a doctor)

I’m 17 and have had sex maybe 6-8 times now? Spread out over let’s say 8 months. Everytime I have sex, the pain while he is going in is so bad. I have to take it really slow until it’s all the way in, then go in and out a few times really slowly and then the pain eventually goes away. If I happen to be tensing I will relax my muscles and it still hurts. Why is it so painful at the start? I know for sure that it’s not my hymen and I really doubt that it’s a lubrication issue either. I’ve been on top and underneath and it feels the same either way. It’s getting annoying! Anyone know what’s going on? As I said the pain goes away after a couple of minutes and then I’m able to have sex so I’m not sure what it could be.

It’s not that big of a deal considering that the pain goes away so I don’t mind too much I just want to know if anyone knows why it happens, but it’s still painful enough to cause me to tear up a little and make ugly faces and ugly sounds.

Omggg this happens to me too but I’ve had sex a lot of times with my boyfriend over the past year, but when we first started it didn’t hurt , but now it does. It only hurts when he inserts it and then when it’s all the way in it stops and I can enjoy it. I’m just wondering why is it happening now ? But it’s not that bad I just wanna know why it started happening.

I’m a virgin, 18 years old, and my boyfriend and I are wanting to have sex. We tried the other night, but he couldn’t even get the tip in because it hurt me so bad. Brought me to tears, even. Every time we attempted to get it in, it felt like an intense Indian burn around my vagina (the hole). Lubrication wasn’t a problem because I was very wet and aroused and he was using a lubricated condom…I’ve never been to a Gyno, but seeing as my period pains are excruciating and cause me to vomit every month because of the pain (same with my mom), my mother thinks I have Endometriosis. I am aware that having endometriosis can cause pain during sex, but if I don’t have endometriosis, what else could I or my boyfriend do to help penetration to be less painful?

First better not to try vaginal sex until you are comfortable. Spend maximum time with foreplay specially in your heat time and you both use your hands and tongue stimulating each others. Once you get aroused tell your bf to play your down with fingers and tongue. When he is playing your clitory and breast nipples, he should use his one finger and try to insert into the hole slightly. In this way he will break your tight hymen without pain. Once he entered 1,2 inches (only one finger) he should stimulate your G spot with a circle motion. This will increase your pleasure and cause hip motion up and down while your partner should try to insert 2 then 3 fingers into the orifice. You won’t feel pain at this plateau and once he entered 3 fingers and do motion back and forth for few minutes and now it is the time to enter his penis. Try this way and hope this will work. Good luck.

Hi am 18yrs old i was a virgin bit was raped at d age of 7to 8,we went to d doctor but he said i am still a virgin becos d tin didnt penetrate tru,nw hav been tryin to sleep wit my boyfriend but anytim d tries to do it i feel pains all over even wen he applies d lubricator it still hurt nd it doesnt go in only half way ,nd i cry tru out wat should be dn or wat should i do

Hi Hailey,
Thanks so much for writing in! I had a similar experience around your age, and what ended up helping me was seeing a gynecologist and a naturopath, to figure out what was causing the pain. If it’s not endometriosis, you might also want to ask about vulvodynia –
I know how painful and frustrating it can all be, so hang in there!
Hope that helps!
Alexandra (caring helper at, not a doctor)

I’m 13 I lost it to my boyfriend why do it hurt

i am 16 i was disvirgined last year december 31st by my boyfriend i was not bleeding then….i had sex again i wasn’t bleeding then i had it again without condom the third time without condom den i bled…nd since den i have been havin pains if i want 2 urinate…am scared

I am 24 and I lost my virginity about 11 months ago. Ever since the first time sex has been painful for me. It hurts badly when his penis goes inside me and feels like its the first time every time, almost like it is going through a barrier. The pain eases slightly when his been inside me for a few minutes but its never truly comfortable or enjoyable and also when he goes in deep it hurts and feels almost like he is pressing hard into my bladder. Its starting to really get to us both as I want to be able to enjoy sex without pain or discomfort.

Laureen i’m just glad i’m not the only one.I just hope it’s normal because i also have the same problem.

I am 14 years old and I lost my virginity to someone who wasn’t a vigrin.We’ve had sex twice n it has hurt a lot since the very beggining he puts it in. After he finishes I bleed a lot and now there’s always a white odorly substance in my underwear n it has been 3 months at least since we had sex. What does that mean? I thought to think that it was normal for sex to hurt?but is it? Both times I wasn’t really turned on and he said I was very tight n it was without a condom in both occasions but it was safe. I just wanna know if this is normal? Can u help me ?

Hi there. Try using lubricant or make some more time for foreplay. Being nicely turned on and wet will make it hurt less or not at all. Pain during sex is not a normal feeling and should be monitored. Bleeding after sex could just mean that he was either too rough or too fast and tore something. You are really young for this but maybe take a pregnancy test if your symptoms dont go away. Good luck!

I’m fifteen, and when me and my Boy friend have sex, it hurts when he puts it in, we try everything to stop it from hurting but it still hurts?! Does anyone know what it could be😴😢

I have a sore thoart and it just wont go away but i keep getting bruses and they seem to never fade but sometimes i dont even know how i get them but sex is the worse. If i have sex its been painful the last 6months which makes it come to a complete stop

I had sex with my boyfriend and it just now started to hurt and i habe to go to the bathroom right after and its do painful to go even if i go before we do it i still have to go . what is happening doctor


You may have a bladder infection. If so, you will need to see a doctor who can provide antibiotics for you. Even if it isn’t a bladder infection, it’s smart to see a doctor. She should be able to help you so this doesn’t keep happening.

Best, @MsGreene
Note: I am the co-founder of, but I am not Dr. Greene and I am not a doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies.

Embarrassing to say this, but I recently got with a new guy. Before him, sex with my ex never hurt in this one certain position. Now, when my new bf puts my legs on his shoulders and goes deep I have the worst pain ever! It’s just in that position it hurts me, I didn’t have this problem before. Is this even normal, I’m a little concerned about it. Him and my ex are the same size down there, so, I know it’s not a difference in size or anything . Should I see a doctor, will it ever ease up?

Hi my name is Zainabu, I was raped and ever since then sex has been really discomforting for me. I’ve been having sex with my boyfriend and each time we do I feel discomfort, sometimes when he enters me I push him back coz it’s painful. We talked about this and I ended up telling him about the rape incident in hope’s that things would change, but I still feel the pain. I normally have abdominal pain, lower back aches, it feel nauseous and recently I was treated for a UTI, which impact not sure why I had to be treated. I’ve been experiencing itching but not all the time and my discharge is thick and white. All these symptoms I’ve had way before I even decided to have sex except for the itching and the discharge. I’m worried because I really want to enjoy making love with my man but sometimes it’s difficult. If it doesn’t hurt when he enters me, if hurts during penetration then it stops then the mild discomfort comes again, and sometimes it’s after sex. We tried having sex without using a condom and it only hurt when he entered me and slightly hurt after the sex. So what exactly is wrong with me

I had the same problems! Go to a dr. You could have polycystic ovarian syndrome like I do. They will give you medicine and all of those things will stop happening! Good luck, I’ve been there and done that. Going to a gynecologist was the best decision I ever made!

Hi Dr.
I’m a virgin. I’ve tried having sex with my boyfriend more than twice and it has always been really painful. It’s always hard for him to penetrate I mean go deep. So he always has to be removing immediately cos I’m always complaining about the pain. I want to know if I have a problem medically or that’s how it’s meant to be.


There is a string of comments below to “Cam Uribe” that addresses your circumstance. I suggest you read that for your answer and some encouragement.

Co-founder & Executive Producer, Mom
Note: I answer a lot of questions on, I am the co-founder of, Dr. Greene’s business partner, but I am a not doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies.


I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now and at the start sex was great – a little sore as i was getting used to him which i could handle but now i feel ever time we have sex i am getting tighter and tighter… The pain tends to wear off after a few minutes but i am starting to worry there could be more to it, could you shead any light on the problem?


I am 23, and have had painful sex since the very first time. I have now been with my husband for 5 years and have a three year old son(c-section). I have never climaxed during sex. I am depressed and can’t stand the fact I have never enjoyed this simple pleasure. I love my husband he is very kind to only ask of me to have intercourse when I lie enough to convince him i am not in pain. The only thing I know of is that I have cyst often and once IN my ovary. I have been bent over in pain so many times almost passing out rushed to the ER with the answer that there is cyst of nothing wrong with me. PLEASE HELP ME!

They shod be able to remove the cysts and then give you hormonal medicine so they do not come back. Cysts are very painful and can be dangerous! Your ovaries can literally burst! Go to a gynecologist and demand that they do something!

I forgot to add how this pain occurs. Always painful but upon deep thrusting it is every more painful and than I continue to stay in pain for an hour or two after ward then any sex for the next few days is totally unbearable, but if we don’t have any for a few days its painful but managable

I am 21 and recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend. The first few times we had sex it was excruciatingly painful. I probably didn’t have an orgasm until our 7th or 10th time. He’s very patient and gentle, but every time we have sex it hurts. Badly. It hurts when he first enters me and it is terribly painful deep within my pelvis. It feels like he’s hitting a wall inside me. It’s very rare that I enjoy sex, no matter how slow and sweet it is. I usually just hope that he finishes so that we can stop. It throbs and makes me feel like I have to use the restroom. Sometimes when he first enters its so unbearable he has to immediately pull out and give me a minute to recover. I hate that I can’t just enjoy sex and I’m worried it will damage our relationship. Please help me.

When i have sex with my boy friend first time when we intimate a day i do not feel pain but when he takes off his penis and again connects it in same time it cannot enter and i fell more pain….help me why

my partner and i tried to lose virginity today (it’s the first time of both) and when he tried to go inside me i felt pain, it hurt badly, i inmediately knew there was something abnormal going on, so i told him to stop, we tried arousing, didn’t work, after three other tries we gave up, i told him i would get informed about it because it didn’t seem normal, i was scared because i thought that maybe i couldn’t be able to have sex, but i decided that it could also be many other things, he coulnd’t get in because it hurt too bad, what can i do?
please help me!

Hi Cam! When You loose your
Virginity it hurst & a lot. So I believe that’s what your talking about. When I lost my virginity we also tried acouple times what worked best for me was that instead of
Him being on the top I was on the top. That way I could go little by little. It took a while and it didn’t hurt that much hope it helps and have safe sex! ☺️

Sex always hurts the first time until it is entered completely. It is natural and normal. Just go slow & make sure both of you are ready. Don’t rush it, or push eachother to do it.

Hello it’s completely normal for it to hurt the first time you lose your virginity. It hurts him because your so tight. I would suggest some lube and you have to relax. It will hurt but once he gets all the way in you will feel pleasure as well as him .

First time sex is always painful as the males penis is breaking the hymen (The hymen is a membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening.) once broken you lose your virginity and onwards will start feeling good ;)


It would be wise to see your doctor. She will do a physical exam and be able to help you determine what can be done.


Stinging sensation during sex and fingering!! What could this be??

So my boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years now and the problem is that when he sticks either his fingers or penis inside me and takes them out and back in after a while my vagina begins to sting. so we can only have pleasurable sex in one position and he cannot take his penis out and put it back in otherwise it hurts me. we always use protection and I don’t have a problem getting aroused it wet. what could be the problem? could I be allergic to the condoms? I’m not sure if that’s a thing but I can’t think of anything else.

It is possible to be allergic to condoms. It would be wise to see a Gynecologist for a physical exam and discussion.

You shouldn’t have to go through this.


I am 19 and I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years now and most times when we have sex I am in pain or I feel like I need to use the restroom.. I sorta feel like it’s because of how deep his penis goes in I mean sometimes if I have my hand by my stomach I can literally feel his penis right there moving… I tell him I feel we need to just calm down on having sex because we do have sex often but I mean. We’re human we want to be able to have sexual relations without any interruptions but it sucks when I feel the way I feel because it makes me just not in the mood.. what is wrong with me and what can I do?

Hi Dr, I’m 22 years old, me and my husband had unprotected sex more than one time about 3 weeks ago. Recently I’ve felt some discomfort while we are having intercourse, and some bladder or cervix pain that makes it hard for me to stand up. I’ve been reading articles it says it can be a ectopic pregnacy or an infection, but prefer a professional point of view?

If there is any chance it could be an ectopic pregnancy, you should see your doctor immediately.

I am a 16 years boy and I did sex and masrurbisation many times and no. Of times …….! Did it will cause me any disease or any thing and I cannot control it what is the reason and how can I stop it early?

Hello Doctor. I am 21 years old. I have been having sex with my boyfriend for about 2 years now and it has never hurt. Just recently,For the past 5 months now, my vagina begins to hurt when my boyfriends penis begins to enter my vagina and this has never happened ever. I am always wet and never dry. Even when we try lubricant , it stills feel the same. He feels that I’m lying and that it is an excuse to not have sex but it is the truth. Can you please tell me why this is happening to me ?

Thank you

Hi, I am so glad to have come across your page and also having got some assurance from the comments here, that so many people face this problem. I am 25 and I dread sex because it hurts and then I end up stopping it right then and disappointing my boyfriend.

I have tried having sex since I was 19 but always stopped at penetration attempt because it hurt so much. Alcohol never helped, lubricants (at least the ones I used) made no difference. Increasing the foreplay did not help either because inside my mind I am always dreading that future moment when it will start hurting.

At 21, I finally succeeded in having sex with my boyfriend and well, I just felt nothing. At least, I did not feel pain – but I was half asleep at that time. Except that and another time when I met my boyfriend after 6 months and so was very excited, sex always hurt me. I feel most pain at penetration and also lesser pain when the penis seems to be hitting some part inside me, it also makes me want to puke because of the pressure. I almost always burst into tears. Nevertheless, I try it again after few weeks because I wonder whether practicing can reduce the pain? Also, I have often wondered if something is wrong with the shape/dimensions of his penis. I have searched for answers since so many years and found none. Please help me!

Dear SR,

It sounds like you may benefit from a great physical exam from a caring, sensitive ObGyn. There may be some medical help for you — other than saying “use more lubrication”.

I know of women who’ve had a similar problem and have been able, with help, to overcome it.

Hope that helps,

Hey I’m 16 and me and my bf have been together for almost 6 months now. Tonight we tried to have sex for the first time both of us virgins but when he put it in me it hurt really bad he didn’t go all the way in I don’t even think it was enough to break my hymen does that still mean we lost our virginity?

I’m 15 years old and when me and my boyfriend have sex sometimes it hurts other times it don’t but when we are done with sex my stomach starts to have bad pain right where my bladder is I don’t have any disease… When he goes far up inside me it hurts just a little do you know what may cause this pain ….

I’m 21 years old and I had a c section. I’m sexually active And when my boyfriend goes deep or fast I feel an abdominal pain. But why? I have no infections or anything.

hi my name is Danielle and my boyfriend have been havinf sex for about 5 years w/ eaxh other, but recently it has been painful. And i mean like it feels when he strokes that there is something on his penis and it is very tight as if i it was a few times aftercthe first time when we lost our virginities to each other he loves that i’m tighter not that i ever wasn’t before…PLEASE HELP ME!!!

I’ve been married to my husband for over 6 years now. I’m 26 years old and sex has always hurt. It hurts going in, it hurts during the deed (like burning and intense bruising) and it hurts after like I got punched in the lady bits by a bag of bricks. It was awful before having a child and now that I’ve given birth (6 months ago) I have even worse pain! I can barely get through a few minutes before having to stop. I hate this. I’m so young and want to be sexually active with my hubby. He’s so incredibly attractive I just want to jump his bones 24/7. I’m such a sexual person in every way but as soon as any actual penetration happens it’s like hellfire. I’ve brought this up to my doctor so many times but I keep getting “make sure you get enough foreplay” and “use lube”. I do that and nothing helps. Even fingers and toys hurt. :( :( Both my hubby and I were tested and we are clean btw. Please help!

Hi my name is Sierra me and my husband have had sex twice and the last few times it has hurt so bad when he pinitrates all the way and thats the only time I havent always had this it just started we are also trying to conceive baby number 2 so I’m getting scared something could be wrong that will prevent this from happening

I am 60yrs. old when my boyfriend and I have sex it hurts when goes in deeper. now I haven’t had sex in years. don’t know if this is the problem or if he is to big for me. its frustrating , I fell like a virgin. please help!

haven’t you reach Menopause?
that is the reason which it hurt you, more so, because you are too dry.

After menopause, some women experience shrinkage and dryness. It’s wise to discuss this with you Gyn. She will have several tools you can use to help stretch and lubricate your vagina, which can make it easier and more pleasant for both partners.

Hope that helps,

I had sex with my bf but I didn’t bleed so I want to know whether I’m still a virgin or not..please help.

don’t worry, I didn’t bleed either. the whole thing about bleeding is the hymen breaking but this is not an accurate representation of someone’s virginity. You may not have even had one to begin with (which is normal). So yes, you lost your virginity! I hope you felt comfortable the first time.