A Messy Home Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Mom

It’s a simple fact: Motherhood is very, very messy. It’s filled with vomit and diapers, juice stains and snotty noses, wet sheets and crayon on the walls. There are seemingly insurmountable piles of play things – from dough and stuffed animals, to itty bitty Legos™ that you inevitably wind up stepping on, over and over. Not to mention the messy tantrums, in public and private, and meltdowns too numerous to count. Being a parent isn’t a Hallmark moment, it’s a marathon. And just because you aren’t all smiles and sunshine with a sparkly clean home all – or even most – of the time, does not mean you’re a bad parent.

Still, moms are particularly hard on themselves and this inexplicable syndrome persists across generations. We feel guilty when our child doesn’t devour our kale and salmon dinner and instead eats frozen french fries and burgers. We admonish ourselves for losing our patience as our kids throw teary, fist-pumping fits in the mall. We beat ourselves up for each and every minor infraction – real or imagined – that we make along this bumpy, unpredictable journey.

You know what? We all need to lighten up.

If your life is messy, you’re perfectly normal – celebrate it. Laugh at it. Embrace it. Flow with it and forgive yourself. We each do the best we can with the resources that we have at the moment – whether that means our physical and environmental tools (such as information and finances), or our emotional stores (think patience).

Being part of a community of parents is one of the ways we can begin to acknowledge the challenges of motherhood. It is the ultimate reality show. Seeing, knowing, feeling, and sensing that you are not the only one who has piles of dirty laundry or a hard time getting yourself into the shower is reaffirming.

Parenting challenges you and stretches you. It should – and it ain’t always pretty. Knowing that you are not alone (and are not crazy) gives you the inner strength to continue. And having the opportunity to share your travails with other parents helps us all put things in perspective.

At Holistic Moms, we welcome parents from all walks of life and strive to create a supportive environment where we can connect, share, and learn. We honor the mess and the ups and downs. It is all part of the journey.

Today, take a deep breath, smile, and know you’re not alone. And, if the sink stinks with dirty dishes, trust that it has nothing to do with your parenting skills and your kids will thrive regardless.

Learn more about finding balance and holistic parenting and connect with like-minded parents at the 9th Annual Natural Living Conference on October 13th in Chicago. You can also join in events online and off-line all month long as part of Holistic Moms Network’s celebration of Holistic Living Month. Join us!


Published on: September 24, 2012
About the Author
Photo of Nancy Massotto

Nancy Massotto is the Founder and Executive Director of the Holistic Moms Network and mother to two boys. She founded the Holistic Moms Network to meet other parents who shared her passions for living healthy and living sustainably, and to help raise awareness about natural living options.

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