A confusional arousal begins with the child moaning and moving about. It progresses quickly to the child crying out and thrashing wildly. The eyes may be open or closed, and perspiration is common. The child will look confused, upset, or even “possessed” (a description volunteered by many parents). Even if the child does call out her parents’ names, she will not recognize them. She will appear to look right through them, unable to see them.
Parental attempts to comfort the child by holding or cuddling tend to prolong the situation. Typically, a confusional arousal will last for about ten minutes, although it may be as short as one minute, and it is not unusual for the episode to last for a seemingly eternal forty minutes.
I have sat with my children through confusional arousals, and know how powerfully these episodes tug at a parent’s heart. Just understanding what they are (normal childhood sleep phenomena that children outgrow — not a sign of maladjustment or the result of bad parenting) helps tremendously.