My 13 year old daughter has developed a fear of not being able to go to sleep. This problem started after she was forced to go to sleep without light as a result of Hurricane Fran's assault on our city. She is a happy, healthy, well adjusted child, without previous history of sleep problems or phobias, and is currently on no medications and does not ingest caffeine. Although my reassurance thus far has not succeeded in alleviating this irrationality, I am not tempted to try sedatives. She is not having nightmares and is not experiencing stress with either academics or relationships. Once asleep she is able to sleep through the night without incident. However, falling to sleep can take a couple of hours or more, punctuated by several tearful trips into her parents' bedroom where she expresses her fear specifically. Do you have any comments or suggestions?

 Many of you probably remember seeing footage of the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake. I am told that national news coverage showed three striking images over and over and over -- the horrible crash on the San Francisco Bay Bridge, the fires burning out of control in the San Francisco Marina District, and the collapsed Cypress Freeway Structure in Oakland. I say, "I am told," because I didn't see any of the footage -- I was inside the collapsed freeway.

I can not begin to tell you the horror I experienced during the next three days and nights. The top deck of the double decker freeway literally caved in on the bottom deck, which remained precariously standing. With each after shock, and it seemed there were hundreds of them, the whole structure threatened to come tumbling down. As a rescue worker, I spent most of my time crawling in and out of the area where most of the victims were trapped -- the area that had once been the bottom deck of the freeway. We looked for spaces where there was room to crawl. In many places the two decks were completely merged with no hope for survivors. Once inside, it was interminably hot. There were clouds of cement dust filling the air making it almost impossible to breathe. And the sounds -- car horns blaring, radios playing an eerie accounting of what I was experiencing, and occasionally moans. We longed for the moans -- someone was still alive! It seemed like just about the time we would make it to someone who was still breathing, the structure would begin to sway, again, and again, and again, threatening to trap the rescue workers along with the victims.

Several months later I was on board a pleasure boat. The sea became rough and the boat began to sway. I must have turned a ghostly color as I hung onto the rail. An older woman approached me and asked if I was all right. I told her that I was having trouble because the swaying reminded me of a difficult experience. "You've been in an earthquake, haven't you?" she asked. She went on to tell me that she knew that was what was going on just by looking at me. She knew because she also had been in an earthquake -- almost 40 years earlier.

I tell you this story to illustrate the powerful emotional impact a catastrophic experience can have.

Even though your daughter may not have been in the eye of the storm, she came to understand firsthand how overwhelmingly powerful nature can be. This experience changed how she viewed the world. Hurricane Fran declared that no matter how hard she tried, no matter what she accomplished, no matter how good she was, she could not count on living a long, happy life. This is a difficult thing for any of us to deal with, but it is particularly hard for children.

Your daughter is entering adolescence -- the age of idealism. But Fran took her toll. Because the main symbol of Fran's power was to leave you in darkness, it is the darkness that most reminds your daughter of her loss.

The best thing you can do to help your daughter through this difficult time is to help her express her current feelings. While the deep feelings of young children can often be drawn out through story-telling and drawing, most adolescents' deep feelings can be drawn out through literature. The most easily accessible form of literature in our culture is the movie. One current film that deals with this issue is "Phenomenon". You might consider taking your daughter on a date to the movie. Afterwards go to a coffee house that encourages its patrons to linger and talk.