Related concepts:

Stranger anxiety, object permanence

Introduction to separation anxiety:

Your baby has been able to tell the difference between you and strangers from the earliest days of life. Young babies prefer their mothers and fathers (and others who are frequently involved), but will usually respond happily to others as well.

Until…

They begin to get upset when others come too close – even regular babysitters, grandparents (who may feel heartbroken), or one of the parents (who may feel very unsettled by this).

At about the same time, most babies begin to fuss and cry whenever you leave their sight, sometimes even to step into the next room!

What is separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety and stranger anxiety both coincide with a new intellectual skill called object permanence. They now remember objects and specific people that are not present. They will search for toys that have dropped out of sight. They are able to call up a mental image of what (or who) they are missing. They don’t want the stranger, because the stranger is not you.

They understand that people leave before they learn that people return. They can tell from your actions that you are about to leave. Anxiety begins to build even before you leave.

They can’t tell from your actions that you are about to return. They have no idea when – or even if – you will come back. And they miss you intensely. For them, each separation seems endless.

Dropping a screaming child at day care tugs at parents' hearts. Much nighttime screaming is an expression of separation anxiety. Sleep is a scary separation.

Peek-a-boo and bye-bye are fun ways for us to interact with babies, and great ways to teach them about object permanence. For babies at this age, these are issues of great concern.

Who gets separation anxiety?

Most healthy babies and toddlers exhibit at least one phase of stranger/separation anxiety as part of normal development.

A small number of school-aged children and adolescents will develop separation anxiety disorder (SAD), an intense fear of harm to parents and a refusal to tolerate separation, even for school or sleep.

What are the symptoms of separation anxiety?

Object permanence is usually first noted when a baby searches for a toy that has fallen out of sight.

The symptoms of normal developmental separation anxiety include increasing anxiety at signs that demonstrate that you are about to leave. Upset and crying occur at the time of separation, and often at the approach of others. Sleep difficulties are common.

Is separation anxiety contagious?

Anxiety can be contagious. The more anxious you are about leave-taking or about others caring for your baby, the more anxious your baby will be.

How long does separation anxiety last?

The first peak of separation anxiety usually takes place in the second half of the first year, and lasts for about 2 to 4 months, though there is great variability in this.

There is often a second peak in the second half of the next year.