Dr. Greene’s Answer:
I speak with parents all over the world who express concern that their babies are eating too little food – or too much. Feeding our babies is such a core part of our role as parents that we deeply want to know that we are doing it right.
“She barely eats a thing. You need to feed her more.” “What a chubby baby!” “He looks so skinny. Are you feeding him enough?” Comments by friends, relatives, or strangers can heighten our concern.
This preoccupation led to “scientific” guidelines of how many teaspoons of what type of food to offer, and how often. We now understand, though, that babies’ needs differ, and that the same baby may have different needs depending on what is happening on a particular day. Rigid guidelines can be counterproductive.
Children need ever-changing amounts of food, influenced by their activity level and developmental phase, the air temperature and relative humidity, and perhaps by a virus they might have.
How is a parent supposed to decide how much to feed?
Thankfully, babies are born with a sophisticated internal mechanism for determining just how much they need to thrive. Healthy babies given the right selection of healthy foods will tend to eat just the right amount.
Our role as parents is to learn to recognize their signals and not to short-circuit our babies’ own sense of how much they need.
Independent toddlers might make it easy for us by saying “all done” or using hand signals to indicate, “I’m finished!” Before they have those skills, babies will use their whole bodies to get the message across, fidgeting in the high chair, or even standing up.
The signals of younger babies are quieter. A newborn may push the nipple out of the mouth, or just fall asleep. A baby who has entered the delightful stage of first solids will lean forward or open the mouth when hungry, and clench the mouth shut, turn aside, or lean back when satisfied. When babies get better at using their hands, they might push the spoon away.
When we override these signals and attempt to force a baby to keep eating, or even to coax them to eat more, they lose trust in their bodies’ own signals.
Another common way of tricking the body is to put rice cereal in a bottle. This practice is not recommended. Babies will take in more calories than they suspect. This can confuse them and lead to lifelong struggles with weight. For older children, highly processed junk food plays the same role.
There are several ways to tell if our dance of communication is working well. A bright, happy child is a good sign. Babies who aren’t getting enough to eat tend to be irritable or droopy (of course many other things can make them unhappy). Babies should make urine regularly. If they don’t urinate in 8 hours, it bears looking into. And throughout childhood, their growth will be plotted at each regular check-up to be sure that they are growing on target for themselves.
Too much food creates a bloated feeling. Too little leaves craving. But just right – the baby feels deeply satisfied. What joy to be able to give this pleasure to our babies and to watch them grow! After all, growth is what childhood is all about.