Lady Lumps

I opted for reconstruction after my mastectomy. This process sure reminded me of the long, windy treatment road to success. After the initial surgery, expanders were put in to my chest to prepare the area for implants. This experience was… interesting.

Many people had asked me what my Lady Lumps (no one knows what to call them…so, I prefer this term) “felt like.”

Poking and Proding

After I was off of all narcotics from my surgery recovery (Yipppeeee!), I was really feeling sensation in those Lady Lumps. So much so, in fact, that I have to admit that because the sensation was so incredibly preternatural, I kept feeling myself up. Totally embarrassing, yet simultaneously fascinating.

I found myself just touching them as if they were prehistoric dinosaur eggs. Of course, I had to apologize 20 times a day for my inappropriate gesture. Thank goodness I was still not out in the general public with any amount of regularity.

Breakin’ Down the Lady Lumps

So, back to the original topic. Let me describe what my Lady Lumps felt like.

#1: Imagine wet cement:

Cement a la Lady Lumps

#2: Take a clump of that gloppy cement and ball it up into the size of a baseball:

The size of a Lady Lump

#3: Picture me sans breasts standing with my back against a wall (without pain meds as you’ll kindly remember). I’ll respectfully omit an image of this, because it just wouldn’t be right.

#4: Then, visualize a pitcher standing about 10 feet away from me and throwing two cement balls onto my chest, one at a time. First the left side. Then, the right side. Here’s a Silver Lining: At least this pitcher had excellent throwing skills and each of the Lady Lumps landed in the right spots.

#5: Finally, watch those baseball-sized Lady Lumps harden.

Lady Lumps Hardening (only they are round)

THIS, my friends, is exactly what my Lady Lumps feel like.

The following quote is a favorite and one that I thought about repeatedly throughout my days, especially when I was feeling myself up.

I think these difficult times have helped me to understand how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way and that so many things one goes around worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.
-Isak Dinesen

What has been your Silver Lining today?

Published on: March 20, 2014
About the Author
Photo of Hollye Jacobs
Hollye Jacobs is a speaker, nurse, social worker, child development specialist, and author of The Silver Lining: A Supportive and Insightful Guide to Breast Cancer. Diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010, she speaks publicly and writes about her experience on the award-winning blog
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