How Motherhood Transforms Us

What is it about becoming a mother that transforms a woman?

There is the heart (and hip) expanding. Did you know you could love that much? Did you think it could hurt so much to see your child in pain or ill? Did you know how fearful you would become, of the world you live in? Did you even realize that love multiplies with each child you have? Did you know how much space you had in your heart until your children came along?

Knowledge and Discovery
Then, there is the sudden realization (and relief) that you can handle the ins and outs of diaper changing, baby feeding and bathing. The knowledge that you may never sleep the same again, but you know you will somehow survive. There is the sudden discovery that you can be taken to the edge of your personality, and yet you survive. I bet you didn’t realize the depth of strength you have, or that sometimes, you have to dig deep to get through the day. I wager you didn’t realize the amount of patience that is in you, when build the umpteenth Lego tower, or play Barbie tea time for an hour.

You Thought You Knew
What about all the things you thought you knew? You know, when you thought that children eat what they are given, and sleep when they are supposed to. You thought you knew what to expect because you read so many parenting books, and how-to’s, before the baby was born. You read all the blogs and websites, about sleep, weaning, transitioning to solids, play, milestones, vaccinations, the best books to read to your baby, the most educational toys. Then your baby decides pretty much when he wants to sleep, what he wants to eat, and how much more he prefers the box in which the latest and greatest toy came in.

Heart and Body Changed Forever
When you become a mother, your mind fills with thoughts of your children. Your heart, full to bursting. Your arms, always feeling the weight of one or more. Your hands, always busy. Your belly, a permanent pooch, a reminder of the days when they lived beneath your heartbeat. Your legs, ever moving, chasing after one or more little ones. Your feet, looking gigantic next to tiny toes.

When you become a mother, the transformation is astounding, nothing short of amazing. Just like your children.

How did you transform when you became a parent?

Published on: August 26, 2013
About the Author
Photo of Alison Lee

Alison traded in launch parties, product launches, international press junkets and world travel, for sippy cups and diapers, breastfeeding and potty training. Alison has been actively over-sharing stories of motherhood on her blog, Writing, Wishing since 2011.

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Recent Comments

I know I’m a little late to the discussion, but so many things like you mentioned, Alison, changed…but I’ve learned to have a better sense of humor about everyday things. I always find myself laughing when I think about the time my son had eaten a bunch of Froot Loops and barfed all over the kitchen 20 minutes later…I thought “Well, at least it’s colorful…like confetti barf…”

Haha! That’s awesome! A sense of humor is essential, definitely.

I definitely knew next to nothing, despite my thinking otherwise. :)

I can’t even imagine what it’s like to have two at once. :)

Better, worse, different – couldn’t have said it better myself.

I apologized to my husband too. :)

I know, right?

Hah! At least you had the basics, right? :)

I think you’re born to be the mother you are, Tamara! Your children are stunning and beautiful.

Oh gosh, I transformed in so many ways I can’t even begin to count. But most of them are too intense to mention here. ;)

I completely understand. :)

I learned that I’m a lot more tolerant than I ever dreamed I could be.

Oh, me too!

I can relate to that, Tamara. This motherhood thing has definitely grown on me, and allowed me to grow into my own skin, so to speak.

I transformed into someone who was excited to drive a minivan! ;-P Oh and most of the other stuff you mentioned so beautifully here too…

Hah! I know what you mean. :)

I thought I knew a lot about motherhood. But the biggest thing I had to learn was how very much there was still to learn. I just didn’t “get it” before. Now I do. And thankfully I keep on learning as I go.

It is definitely a constant journey of learning, Kim.

the one of the most incomprehensible things about being a mother I think is a paradox: boundless love versus strong desire to have some rest from your parenting duties…

True enough, Jenny!

I know what you mean, Jenny!

… And it doesn’t stop as they grow. You think you can’t possibly love them more, but then you can.


Absolutely right, Cheryl.

The love is definitely one that grows, as they do.

Oh yes we really had no idea about parenting until we became mothers…I still have friends that aren’t moms that will be saying “Oh I will never do this or that” and I just laugh and laugh. They have no idea!!!

I have a few friends who are about to be first-time mothers, and I see and hear all their good intentions – I was the same way. I just wish them well. :)

Oh I know, I am the same way! :)

I think it might be when I let my sick baby throw up all over me because I was easier to clean than the rug. :-) You just can’t imagine WHAT you are willing to do!

I know! Your tolerance level for all things gross, really goes up!

You’re right, your tolerance for gross things totally increases. :)

Good to see you here, Alison!
I think for me the biggest transformation has to do with “knowledge and discovery” – I did not think I have the strength to handle it if my kids get hurt. My son got hurt pretty bad when he was three years old and we ended up in the ICU with intracranial bleeding… I was always afraid that I would just totally lose it, but I didn’t. I stayed calm and was there for him and he got better fast. (of course now, 8 years later I still have nightmares about it, but at the time I surprised myself).