When was the last time you asked your child to dine with you? Probably never if you’re like most people.

Truth be told, I haven’t either.

In fact I just had a Mommy/Daughter dinner date with my 7 year old and I didn’t even ask her to go to dinner, I just assumed (correctly so I might add) that she would be on board with my plan. In retrospect I think how lovely she would have felt if I had extended a dinner invitation rather than just laying out where we were going. It was Souplantation by the way, and she just happens to love eating a good salad, especially if she gets to build it.

Anyway, I got to thinking about how I’ve used lots of tips I’ve read to help our family enjoy one another’s company at the dinner table, and it transformed our often upside down dinners into pleasant experiences. I want to share those tips with you, because they’ve worked for me when I’ve remembered to use them.

Eat dinner at the Same Hour Every Evening

There might be nothing else more dreaded than the cranky toddler who is hungry and dinner is still 20 minutes out. The funny thing is it’s not just the kids this affects. The adults in the house are less cranky when dinner is at the same time every night as well.

Have your Child Assist in Planning and Prepping the Meal

This one is the hardest one for me to implement with 3 eager-to-do-everything kids. I learned that prepping can also include setting the table. Ever notice how much a child loves choosing their meal from a menu at a restaurant? Just bring that idea home! Type up your 3 meal options, pictures work best for the younger crowd, and when you’re thinking about what to have for dinner and it’s lunch time, ask for your child’s input! Pull out the faux menu and allow them to place their order. I can see this going over really well for birthday dinners!

Create a Colorful Plate

I started being more aware of this after meeting my friend Kia Robertson of Today I Ate a Rainbow on Twitter. It is amazing the difference in appeal of the dinner when it is vibrant and rich in color. One of our old stand by meals hardly ever makes an appearance any more; plain chicken breast, mashed potatoes and frozen corn. Now my goal is to always avoid something that drab looking. If it looks boring on the plate chances are slim that YOU are enthused to eat it, never mind your child.

Have an Appetizer

When we go out to dinner it is almost expected that something will come before the meal to tide everyone over until the dinner arrives. This is actually an easy thing to add to the family dinner at home. The ideal choice here is a variety of fresh veggies, maybe some ranch dip that you make a la Deceptively Delicious. A homemade ranch dip where you sneak good stuff in is smart. It also generally gets kids eating more veggies!

Ever since my husband put the moratorium on pre dinner snacking (essentially anything after 4pm) I found myself wanting to snack, probably just because there was this rule in place. (We instituted the rule because our kids were often eating just a couple bites of their dinner, claiming they filled up on xyz snack.) Anyway we adapted the rule, veggies and certain fruits are allowed. Veggies don’t kill their appetite. Sometimes when the kids wander into the kitchen they are told they can pick a veggie if they are hungry and sometimes they turn right around and go back to playing. Other times the veggies are gobbled up gleefully.

Share Your Favorite Part of the Day

We’ve been doing this most nights for nearly 2 years. Each person goes around and shares their favorite part of the day. It’s really just a conversation starter. We are in such a groove with “Favorite part of the Day” that Owen, my youngest who’s 4, will begin before everyone is even at the table. Owen loves to share several things he favored from the day, sometimes he interrupts others, eager to get his turn. This practice has done more than get us talking around the dinner table, it is a lesson in manners for my preschooler in waiting his turn, it is a practice of caring as when one person has shared they move on to ask another family member “What was your favorite part of the day?”

It can be a practice in patience, as I mentioned, Owen loves to jumpstart our dinner conversation. When the kids are busy talking and listening to one another, there is less opportunity for them to bicker. I’m glad that we’ve built this into a family tradition. I literally stole the concept from the movie “The Story of Us” where they shared their “high/low” for the day.

Play Signing Games!

This is especially useful when out to eat. If you’ve been signing with your baby, you are about to cash in all the chips with this tip. Often toddlers are not too keen on the activity sheets and crayons the hostess brings for your little one. This can be a problem if your little one is so hungry they’ll eat anything, including crayons! I’m typically not a proponent of “Quiz the Baby” type of activities, but in the scenario of being at a restaurant, waiting for a meal to arrive, asking your baby to demonstrate the sign for objects you know they know can save everyone in the restaurant, including the parents, a bit of stress.

Toddlers were built for figuring out how to use their bodies, hence they do not like to sit for long periods of time. When you keep a baby’s mind busy, engaged in conversation, this leads to greater patience. You get creative freedom here in making up your own signing game. Personally I like to point at objects I see all over the restaurant and ask my toddler “what’s the sign for xyz?” It works wonders! And you might even see your child point out new objects that they want to know the sign for. Great way to take turns and keep building your signing vocabulary!

It occurred to me that part of being a great host is to engage your dinner guest in conversation. Imagine if we treated our toddlers as dinner guests at meal time:

1. Extend a dinner invitation
2. Eat dinner at the same time
3. Include them in the planning
4. Steer clear of boring meals
5. Have an appetizer
6. Favorite Part of the Day conversation starter
7. Play Signing Games

How would dinner look in your house if you implemented just one of these things?

Kids jump and fall and run and climb and play – and it’s not unusual for me to get called when one of their tongues happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, caught between chomping teeth. Ouch!

A tongue bite can bleed a lot and look terrible, but still heal on its own fast – or it may need emergency repair.

Things to Consider

The rich blood supply to the tongue enables it’s activity and rapid healing when damaged. Certain bites are most likely to need stitches:

• Goes through tongue from the top to the bottom
• Rips an edge of the tongue
• Splits the front of the tongue
• Gash longer than 1 cm
• Missing chunk of tongue
• Ongoing bleeding

Also be aware of possible problems apart from the bite:

• A possible foreign body in the mouth
• Damaged or loose teeth
• Injured jaw
• Swelling of the tongue

7 Things to Do

1. Consider it an emergency if tongue swelling or bleeding might get in the way of breathing or swallowing.
2. Contact your doctor or dentist right away if it’s a bite that might need stitches, or of the tetanus shots might not be up to date. If you’re not certain about either, get in touch. I would absolutely want my own patients to do this.
3. I scream for ice cream! Avoid eating or drinking just before or after anesthesia (if needed), but otherwise, a soft diet for the next few days feels better and allows for easier healing. And go for the cold! Sucking on ice chips, popsicles or ice cream can be soothing.
4. Drink water or rinse with water after eating while there is an open wound.
5. Consider an oral pain reliever if the child seems uncomfortable.
6. Revisit within 24-48 hours to reassess.
7. In the meantime, be alert for signs of infections or other complications, such as fever, swelling, or increasing pain.

Things to Learn

Parents are often amazed to watch how fast a bitten tongue heals. It’s a sped-up, time-lapse, visible example of an important underlying principle: Kids’ bodies are designed to repair damage.

Our job as parents (and doctors) is to remove obstacles to healing, support the healing process as needed, and to provide comfort along the way.

This is true even with emergency care. And remember, it’s not the stitches that heal the tongue; they just hold it in position so it can heal itself.

It’s becoming an ever more common sight: babies and kids playing with smartphones. According to NPR’s Health Blog, one recent survey found that as many as 1 in 4 toddlers has used a smartphone and for many young kids, it’s become the toy of choice. Yet, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that kids under two follow a no-screen time rule. Is this new breed of tech parenting going to wreak havoc on the development of toddlers? Not if we educate parents how to use smartphones smartly (because the trend is most likely only going to grow).

Here are 5 smart tips for letting toddlers use smartphones:

1. Play together. One main concern that the AAP has about young children using things like smartphones is that it leads to a reduction in parent-child communication – which is vital for language development. So, if your child wants to play on your smartphone, play together and talk about what’s happening. If you’re looking for a way to entertain your child while actually increasing your ability to communicate with one another, try our new, free KidGlyphs app which is a fun tool that uses graphics, spoken words, and text to help children communicate beyond their verbal skills.
2. Opt for educational apps. In the same vein as above, choose apps that encourage interaction and education as opposed to those that mindlessly suck kids in without benefit.
3. Be aware. Parents need to be aware of what their child is doing on electronic devices – to teach them how to use them respectfully and responsibly and how to best interact with technology.
4. Use in moderation. While there are no set recommendations for how much time you should allow a young child to play with a smartphone, use your best judgment.
5. Don’t use it for soothing. Children are naturally fascinated by the colors, sounds, and animation of smartphones and given the choice, may often choose it as a favorite distraction. If your child is crying or throwing a tantrum, don’t try to soothe him by giving him your phone. You’ll only teach him that he can have that special tool whenever he screams enough.

New advancements in science and technology can be very exciting, but it’s wise to understand the benefits and risks. And, with the boom in developments our children will experience in their lifetime, one of the greatest lessons we can teach them is responsible use.

I saved the best post for last!  As a mom of a 4 year old, 2 year old and 8  month old, I learned the value of laughter!

Laughter is a good medicine. It balms the soul when the waves of anxiety buffet.  It clears the mind when lists and deadlines loom. It reminds us that life is still fun even if we do not enjoy the responsibilities consuming our thoughts.

Honestly, stop and think: have you laughed today? When I start taking life way too seriously, when the house and the kids make me respond in short, curt answers, I stop what I am doing and find a way to ease up.

What is there to laugh at? A silly hat on a toddler’s head.  A preschooler magically turning into a doggie.  A dog scooting its rear across the floor.

When we let our lists and worries control our mood, we need to stop, drop, and laugh!

Close the laptop. Turn the phone on silent. Turn up the stereo and dance! Sing a silly song at the top of your lungs. Tickle your baby until her laughter is so contagious your grey skies are bright blue.

Feel it. Be in that moment.

Your back, your neck, your head, your mood – will all thank you for caring for your mental health. Of all the daily multi-vitamins to take, your laughter is the most important.

What have you laughed at today?

It’s taken a long time for science to quantify what mothers have always known: the skin of babies and toddlers is very different from the skin of older children and adults. Babies’ skin is softer because the outermost protective layer, the stratum corneum, isn’t mature until at least age two. In babies and toddlers the total epidermis is also thinner, with increased absorption:

Ultraviolet radiation can penetrate more deeply.

This can damage skin DNA, trigger inflammation, accelerate aging, and suppress the immune system in the skin. (Our skin is a key, active part of our immune system – not just the physical barrier we’ve long assumed.) Radiation-induced skin changes can start accumulating during a baby’s first summer.

Sunscreen chemicals penetrate more easily as well.

Many of the chemicals used in sunscreens to absorb radiation act like estrogen hormones. These could end up throughout a baby’s body in the blood, and later be detected in the urine. This hasn’t been proven to cause a problem. Or proven safe.

How do you balance the health of young skin, where just a few sunburns can double the melanoma risk later in life? I recommend a few simple steps:

1. Avoid midday sun, when practical.
2. Choose sun-protective clothing for everyday wear when babies or toddlers will be outside. K&J clothing has a UPF of 50+, using no chemicals. And it’s adorable! In contrast, a typical tee has a UPF of only 5 or 10.
3. Seek shade with your little one.
4. Use a mineral sunscreen to physically block UV radiation. Zinc and titanium are the two common mineral active ingredients. Micron-particle-size minerals are small enough to go on clear and large enough not to be absorbed through the skin.

And don’t forget a pair of stylin’ baby sunglasses!

Paller AS, Hawk JLM, Honig P, Giam YC, Hoath S, Mack MC, and Stamatas GN. “New Insights about Infant and Toddler Skin: Implications for Sun Protection.” Pediatrics. 2011; 128(1):1-11.

As parents, we consider many factors when selecting a childcare situation for our children – among them cost, convenience, philosophy, hours and the ratio of caregivers to kids. But how many of us give a thought to environmental health? We should, because young children’s developing bodies are very susceptible to chemical exposures.

To make it a little easier, Environmental Working Group put together these tips on how to create a green childcare environment, with an emphasis on the steps that matter most. We’re all about strategic changes that make the biggest difference to kids’ health. Parents can use these tips to assess childcare facilities – and share the downloadable tip sheet with staff to help them create a greener space. Remember, a few simple actions can reduce many exposures to toxic chemicals. Why not start today with this great list?

Most important for infants:

Mix formula with fluoride-free water, as the American Dental Association recommends. If your tap water has fluoride, buy non-fluoridated water.

Don’t serve ready-to-eat formula – it contains more BPA (from the can lining).

Never microwave food or heat milk in plastic. Use glass or ceramic instead.

Use glass or BPA-free baby bottles. Discard older plastic ones, especially if scratched.

Use fragrance-free wipes, diapers & diaper cream.

Create a healthy space

Seal or remove arsenic-treated wood decks & play structures. Those built before 2003 likely contain arsenic. Don’t allow children to eat at older picnic tables (or cover them with a cloth).

Have kids wash hands after playing near these surfaces, or avoid them altogether.

Watch for lead paint. Older paint may contain lead. Kids face health risks from loose chips and lead in dust. If your building was built before 1978, use a certified lead-safe contractor for any repairs.

Don’t use bug spray or weed killer inside or out.

Clean greener & disinfect when kids aren’t around. Choose certified green cleaning supplies, dust & vacuum often (with a HEPA filter), use fragrance-free laundry detergent and skip air fresheners & dryer sheets. Disinfectants can be toxic. Where necessary, disinfect with safer peroxide-based products or bleach. Always follow product directions.

Remove or repair furniture & mattresses with exposed foam. Before 2005, most foam was treated with toxic fire retardants.

Take care with compact fluorescent light bulbs. Don’t put them in lamps that can fall, releasing mercury. If a bulb breaks, clear the room, air it out, put on gloves, safety glasses and a dust mask, seal the waste, wash up. Replace mercury thermometers & thermostats with mercury-free options.

Eating & drinking

Offer healthy snacks. Choose fruits & veggies from EWG’s Clean 15 list or buy organic – and always wash them. Don’t microwave food in plastic. Microwave popcorn bags contain toxic chemicals – try air-popping instead. Choose organic dairy and meat when possible; buy rBGH/hormone-free milk. Use BPA-free dishware.

Wash little hands before eating – with plain soap & water. Skip anti-bacterial soaps – they’re no better than plain soap and contain toxic triclosan. If you use alcohol-based hand sanitizers, choose fragrance-free.

Drink safer water. Filter tap water as needed to remove contaminants. Check EWG’s Tap Water Database to find an effective filter. Test water fountains for lead.

Playtime!

Avoid soft plastic toys & metal jewelry. Many plastic softeners are toxic. Choose items labeled PVC- and phthalate-free. Avoid metal trinkets and play jewelry, which can contain heavy metals. Skip face paint unless you know it’s free of lead and other contaminants. Natural, unpainted wood toys are a good choice.

Use safer art supplies. Don’t use rubber cement, permanent or dry-erase markers or materials meant for adults. Stick with paper/cardboard, yarn, wood & homemade play dough. If you don’t know what’s in something, skip it.

Apply safer sunscreen. Use EWG’s Sunscreen Guide to find ones with SPF 30+ and zinc or titanium. Skip oxybenzone, retinyl palmitate, sprays, added bug repellent. Wear hats & avoid mid-day sun.

Adjust outdoor play based on local air quality using AIRNow.gov. On high pollution days, limit high-energy outdoor play for kids, especially those with asthma.

Another resource for parents and care providers is the national eco-healthy childcare program, which helps childcare facilities shift to safer practices through a self-certification system.

We all want our babies to have the best start possible. How much do infant educational videos really help to boost the brain?

Each hour of educational baby DVDs or videos that babies watch per day is associated with an additional 16.99 point decrease in language development scores on standardized testing, according to a study published in the October 2007 Journal of Pediatrics.

This drop is large enough that parents could notice the smaller number of words learned each month. The results of the test used in the study often, but not always, correlate with overall intellectual development.

The babies in this study were 8 to 16 months old. It didn’t make any difference if parents watched the video with the babies, watching was still associated with a large decrease in language skills.

By contrast, reading to the baby at least once a day and storytelling at least once a day were each associated with about a 7 point increase in language scores.

For older toddlers in the study, aged 17 to 24 months, reading and storytelling offered even larger intellectual advantages. No benefit to the videos was found in this age group, at least there was no harm.

From previous studies we know that educational videos can have real learning benefits for kids over 30 months. My take home messages are simple.

First, given the possible negative intellectual impact suggested in this study and the popularity of infant educational DVDs (and their enticing names and marketing) more research should be done quickly to verify or discredit the results of this single study.

Second, in the meantime, interacting with our children is a time-honored and scientifically-validated way to boost their learning . especially if we read to our kids and tell them stories at least once a day.

Third, children learn by imitation. Kids, learning tends to reflect parents learning. If we are learning ourselves, we foster a culture of learning in our children.

Note: Freerice.com is a great example of a way to boost your own vocabulary while helping other people. The idea behind this site is every time you get a correct answer on a vocabulary test (that is cleverly targeted to boost your current language level) 10 grains of rice are given to someone who is malnourished. It’s simple, fun, free, AND a great way for us to learn vocabulary while providing rice to feed hungry children. The World Food Programme of the United Nations announced that the site has already generated enough rice to feed 50,000 people for a day in its first month of operation.

Zimmerman FJ, Christakis DA, and Meltzoff AN. Associations between media viewing and language development in children under age 2 years. Journal of Pediatrics. 2007 151:364-8.

The Scholar

The scholar’s story is one of emotional and intellectual growth. Behind the scenes, your baby is gaining, not just strength and coordination, but a deep understanding of the way things work. While babies  are learning to sit, for instance, they also learn to intuitively judge the speed of an approaching object, factor in its acceleration or deceleration, instinctively calculate the correct time to collision, and blink at the perfect moment. Sitting is not just a physical skill. It is a mental chess match, a physics course, and a rewiring of the reflexes on an unconscious level.

Around the time that babies are sitting up, they also may begin to get upset when others come too close–even regular babysitters, grandparents, or one of their parents. At about the same time, many babies begin to fuss and cry whenever you leave their sight.

Separation anxiety and stranger anxiety both coincide with a new intellectual skill called object permanence . Your baby now remembers objects and specific people who are not present. He doesn’t want a stranger, because the stranger is not you.

As with other parts of development, getting mobile changes the way babies think. Your baby was fascinated by her parents’ eyes  in the first moments after birth. She is still fascinated by your eyes, but increasingly now in where your eyes are looking. Soon your baby is able to hold an image in her own mind of where things in the room are located, even without being able to see or hear them.

At the same time, her increasing skill with her fingers and thumbs leads her not just to handle objects, but to do things with them. She is eager to change and rearrange the world. She would like to experiment with crumpling paper rather than just touching it. She wants to put small objects in others, to move things around, to knock things over. She may push a car along the floor and then pick it up to peer at the wheels, pondering what makes it go. And then, of course, almost everything goes into her mouth.

As they begin to walk , a new depth of self-awareness emerges. Babies become fascinated with video images of themselves, as opposed to those of similar-looking babies. Mirrors hold new fascination for them as well.

Symbolic gestures begin during this period. A child will pick up an object, perhaps a remote control, and point it at the television to indicate that she knows its use. Putting a hat on her head and the telephone to her ear are all what we call early egocentric symbolic gestures – centered on her and her control of the world.

There is often a second peak of stranger anxiety in the second half of the next year. At this time, toddlers have emerging language skills  and a strong desire to communicate. They have developed rich ways to communicate with you that strangers just don’t understand. The second peak of separation anxiety usually fades as language skills improve.

By a year and a half toddlers can link actions to solve a problem – using a stick to reach a toy. And before the second birthday scholars will demonstrate emotional, intellectual, imaginative, and social maturity through true symbolic actions, such as tenderly giving a bottle to a doll.

Read More from the Apprentice, Athlete, Scholar, Poet:
The Apprentice
The Athlete
The Scholar
The Poet
The Parent Detective

This is an excerpt from: The Experts’ Guide to the Baby Years

Introduction

The toddler that rushes down the hall calling, “Mommy phone!” is dramatically different from the newborn you held in your arms a moment and an eternity ago. Astonishing and unparalleled growth takes place in the first two years – and it takes place in fits and bursts. Tomorrow’s complex skills build on today’s simpler ones, with countless interconnections.

To make sense of this dizzying affair, I like to sort growth into four storylines: the apprentice mastering hand-eye coordination, the athlete learning to run, the scholar’s saga of symbols of the mind, and the poet’s journey.

The Apprentice

When a newborn fixes her eyes on something intriguing, she might swipe towards it with her arms and/or legs. Even though her swipe does not come close, this is the beginning of her training in hand-eye coordination that will one day enable her to master tasks such as tying shoes, playing the piano, or performing neurosurgery.

A baby can grasp an adult finger pressed into her hand on her very first day. It’s not until this automatic grasp starts to fade a few months later that she can learn to consciously take hold of the world around her. Babies become increasingly fascinated by their own hands and then by objects they can handle.

Over time, their grasping behavior will become more sophisticated and precise. Using the arm to corral a toy gives way to picking up a block in the hand. Usually, kids first grasp with the little-finger half of the hand and move to the thumb-side with practice. Then, about the middle of the first year, they’ll demonstrate their emerging mastery by passing toys from hand to hand. Then on to holding two toys at once, followed by banging them together! Next, they start peering at smaller objects, captivated by objects the size of a raisin as they are about to develop a precise finger-thumb grasp. By the time they are taking their first steps, they are ready not just to hold objects, but to build with them. When a toddler has built a stack of six blocks, or turned a doorknob to open a closed door, the apprentice has completed his journeyman training.

Read More from the Apprentice, Athlete, Scholar, Poet:
The Apprentice
The Athlete
The Scholar
The Poet
The Parent Detective

One month after eating an earthworm on a dare, a 16-year-old girl developed a fever and nausea that lasted about 2 or 3 days, along with some mild swelling around her eyes. These symptoms went away, but over the next two weeks she also had a worsening cough and lost 5 pounds. The diagnosis? She had developed lung abscesses from parasites that were moving through her lungs. Her story is told in the February 2006 Pediatrics. Her story is unusual because she is a teen. But the worms she was infected with are common in the U.S., usually infecting toddlers and preschool-age kids. These worms, called Toxocara species, are common roundworms of dogs and cats (especially puppies and kittens). In developed countries, infections with these worms in kids are second only to pinworms. What’s the usual story?

In the typical scenario, a young child (age 1 to 4) is happily playing in a sandbox or a playground or soil that contains tiny Toxocara eggs. These eggs may be found wherever infected dogs or cats defecate (common throughout the contiguous U.S., especially in the southeast). Then the child puts dirty fingers in the mouth, or eats some sand or dirt. Once swallowed, the eggs hatch and the larvae begin to migrate through the body, where they can invade any organ. This sounds scary and gross, but.

The good news is that most kids who are infected with Toxocara species will get better on their own, without any treatment, and without ever having any symptoms or awareness of the infection. The higher the number of eggs ingested, the higher the chance of symptoms. Fever and increased white blood cells (especially white blood cells called eosinophils) are the most common signs if any signs are present. Migration to the liver may cause liver enlargement. In some kids, though, the worms will migrate through the lungs, leading to cough or wheeze. Some kids diagnosed with bronchitis, pneumonia, or asthma actually have Toxocara infections. Usually, simple anti-parasite medicines will take care of the problem. Far less common, but far more serious, is migration to the heart, brain, or eyes.

How can Toxocara infections be prevented? Proper pick-up and disposal of pet poop at parks and playgrounds helps in public areas. Treating puppies and kittens with recommended worm medicines, especially during the first 8 weeks, helps prevent infections from your own pets. It makes sense to cover sandboxes where your child will play when they are not in use. Keep fingernails from getting too long, and clean the hands after playing in sand or dirt and before they go in the mouth. And, of course, try to avoid eating earthworms – even on a double dog dare.

Earthworms are wonderful friends to have in our soil. They aerate, detoxify, and enrich the soil as they move through it, swallowing the soil, and leaving behind marvelous, rich soil castings. But in the meantime, Toxocara larvae can be found throughout the length of the earthworms if they have been eating infected soil. Eating earthworms can make dogs, cats, or people sick.

So, contrary to the lines of the old song, even if nobody loves you, everybody hates you – don’t go eat some worms.