As I stated in the opening post, each school has four pillars that supports it -administration, students, parents, and teachers.  To ensure success each pillar must consistently support a school with compassion and courage as it does it’s best to teach child and work through contingencies. If that is done properly the pillars will be a sound and strong structure.

Far too often we forget what those pillars rest upon. It is the foundation of everything in any society, whether it is a school system, form of government, or family. That foundation is communication, an open flow of information readily available.

The number one reason something fails is because of a lack of communication. You can be the best organizer in the world.  However if you do not communicate in a timely and effective manner nothing will be done properly. Sometimes people will intentionally make communication vague to protect themselves.

Your child could be one of those people. If you have more than one child you probably already know where I am going with this. How many times have you stepped out of the room only to hear trouble brew between your sweet angels? You walk back into the room ask who started it only to see fingers are pointed everywhere.

Self-preservation is important to all living things. Including your child. Be the parent who understands their child is not always and angel. If you child will lie about how much involvement they had in why the garage window is broken it is probably safe to bet they had a hand in the trouble at school when a phone call home comes.

When a negative report comes home, don’t assume the teacher, principal or superintendent aren’t doing their jobs. Don’t be the parent who flies into the office full of Parent Pride because your child has been issued a detention.

It is my hope that while in this week of blog posts I highlighted many ways that you can improve your supportive pillar and find success. As you work on strengthening your pillar understand that it is all built on strong two-way communication.

Do not be afraid to speak when something needs to be said. Do not be afraid to ask a question when you do not understand. Be the example of open communication and you will see others follow you.

When you communicate to anyone, consistently, with courage and compassion you will begin to find you rarely need to worry about many of your contingencies.

It would be great it everything went according to plan, but unfortunately Murphy’s Law will come a long and make whatever can go wrong, completely fail. Just as it happens in life, so does it happen in education. When that happens parents are the key to a school having success.

As your child progresses through their education they will have opportunities to go on field trips starting as early as kindergarten and progressing until graduation.

Chaperones Are Great But…

The best way to help and ensure that your child has a safe and enjoyable experience when they go on a field trip is to be involved as a parent. Most parents think the only way to be involved is to be a chaperone. That is not true.

The chaperones are the last part of the field trip that a teacher needs help with. The planning and fund raising are the most crucial parts and usually the parts the teacher has to do alone.

I recently took my band on a trip to Atlanta, GA. I had a wonderful group of parents. We met before the trip was even a definite possibility. I wanted to make sure all parents were open to the idea of the trip and I wanted to find answers to questions before they were even asked.

Helping the Teacher Answer Questions

This was the first time the band has taken an over night field trip.  While I have taken my other bands on over night trips this was something entirely new to this community.

I had to get answers to important questions like:

• How to get the information to all parents?
• What the best fundraisers would be for our community and families?
• Would all families be able to afford to send their child?
• If a family can’t afford to send their child, how can that child get help?

Some teachers, especially new teachers, don’t understand the community enough to be able to answer those questions.  That is where they need helpful parents.

Field Trip Contingency and Compassion

Because, I had strong parent involvement as we planned the trip I found that I didn’t have to worry about any contingency plans. Parents knew what to expect because they had a say in process.

Parents who were chaperones knew what the school expected because they were able to come familiar with the school’s policies and field trip guidelines as well. Because of the parents understood some of the complicated rules that schools have showed compassion as we took extra time to make sure that we were in compliance with those rules.

In the end if you use your compassion as a parent and become involved to ensure that all children, including your child, has a great experience from the planning aspect of the trip to trip itself teachers and families won’t need to worry about many contingency plans.

So next time your child comes home and says the teacher is planning to take a field trip send a note in to see how you can help support the school and offer your talents where you can.

All schools have a support structure that keeps them running efficiently.  I call the support structure the Four Pillars of a School District.  Those pillars are – administration (principals, superintendents, and guidance counselors), students, students’ parents, and teachers.

It is very easy to understand how administrators, teachers, and students are part of the support structure of a successful district, but sometimes parents don’t understand how much influence they have on the success of their school.

Booster Parents

Being a band director gives me the opportunities to work very close with parents in my booster organizations.  In my Band Boosters I get to see the best of the best when if comes to parents supporting a school program, but I have also seen some of the worst.

The first school that I ever taught at had a very unstable pillar when it came to parents supporting the school and the band program.  It wasn’t that I didn’t have the support of the majority of the parents, it was only a few parents.

The Old Guard

These parents were considered the “old guard”.  When I arrived there were only three parents who ran the booster group and they were used to controlling everything.  As my program grew more parents became involved and the original three parents saw their power become diluted.

The peak of these few parents battling me and the majority of the newly involved parents came when the band was preparing to attend a trip to a bowl game.  The parents had raised enough money for each student to have $100 reduced from their trip price.

The “old guard” parents felt the money should not be given to the students but should be kept in the band booster general fund.  When it came up for a vote to use the money raised to help the students attend the trip the motion passed with only three opposed to the motion.

These parents were more concerned with the ability to control and have their way openly voted against helping the very students that the parent organization was founded to help.  Fortunately, the more parents that became involved the easier it was to fight the battles that helped the majority of the students and not the few.

Pillars of Support

You are a good parent.  You may not be perfect, but since you are taking the time to read this that means you are working to become the best parent you can be.  I want to help show you how you can be a strong supporting pillar of your child’s school.

If you are a strong and active supporter it will protect the programs you child loves and doesn’t let any parents who are the “old guard” set an agenda that isn’t in the best interest of children.

Over the course of this week I will be posting about how you, as a parent can help fight things like Parent Pride, become a partner in your child’s success, and strengthen the parent pillar of your school district using consistency, contingency, compassion and courage.

Keep in mind, as your teachers build great programs for your children they need strong pillars to be the framework of their success for your child and it is difficult to worry about little details like paint color in a house when you keep tearing down walls to make sure your frame is sound.

The summertime is a wonderful time to help your child learn how to write sentences and paragraphs, which follow a logical sequence and include interesting details.

Children typically need to be encouraged to write. Students who believe they have interesting ideas and can write well generally develop their written language skills at a faster rate.

The initial step in helping your child to develop their written language paragraph writing skills is to ask your child to examine and study a picture you choose for them. Most written language assignments will include a picture to write about at the elementary and middle school level.

Spark Ideas

Ask your child the question, “What do you see in the picture?” Then ask, “What is happening in the picture?” Then ask your child, “What can you say about what is happening in the picture?” As your child answers your questions orally write down some of their answers on a scratch piece of paper. Next, go over their answers with your child and talk about their perceptions of the picture. If your child added details that are not in the picture, then nicely point out which details do not fit the picture.

Help Getting Started

Next, show your son or daughter how to write a quality opening sentence that describes the picture on their assignment. Numerous students with learning issues or those who struggle in school do not always understand how to write an excellent opening sentence. Talk about the opening sentence with your child and prompt them to study what is happening in the picture for a minute or two.

Instruct your child to include the main idea of the picture in their opening sentence.

The Middle

Ask your child to focus their middle sentences on two or three main ideas or details found in the assigned picture. The middle sentences can be made more interesting if they include a cause and effect or “because statement”. Often children can say the sentences orally better then they can write them.

Hint: If writing is a difficult area ask your child verbally to tell you the detail and stop them and say the detail back to them as they write it.

Tools

Use a thesaurus to help them locate two or three strong nouns or verbs, which can replace the more common ones they used.

Next, the student may wish to add a detail sentence or two about the sentences they have already written. Aim for five to seven sentence paragraphs and in some cases nine sentences.

The Ending

Lastly, ask your child to close the paragraph with a good sentence that answers the why or restates the opening sentence. Some students may wish to make a prediction about the subject of the paragraph in their closing sentence.

Parents it is important to complement your child on their effort and reread their paragraph with them for clarity.

If sequencing changes should be made, then nicely point out why the order should be different.

Thanks for joining me this past week on DrGreene.com. I wish to complement all the readers of my posts for your diligence in researching information to help your child reach their scholastic potential.  May you have a happy, fun-filled, educational summer with your children.

My heart goes out to the families and friends of those who lost their lives in this horrific tragedy. There are no words that can heal your pain. There is no action that can undo what has been wrongly done to you.

But it’s time to tackle this issue boldly. The tragic deaths of these 20 innocent children and of the 6 brave adults who stood up to the gunman are the tip of an iceberg. Thousands go through this every year. More American kids are killed by gunfire every year than all US soldiers killed in Afghanistan from 9/11 through 2012.  Combined.

The war is at home.

And it’s not inevitable. Almost 12 times more US kids are killed by guns than in any of 25 other industrialized nation. And when it comes to homicide, it’s 16 times more killed by gun than in the other industrialized nations combined.

This demands the question, what’s the difference?

Consider Seattle versus Vancouver. These similar neighbor cities have very different gun death stats. What’s the difference? It’s not a difference in video games or movies. It’s not a difference in security measures or in mental illness. One glaring difference between those cities – and between us and other countries – is the ease of obtaining guns.

And in 2011 a law was passed in Florida forbidding pediatricians from even talking with their patients about gun safety and keeping guns safely away from kids. We protect our gun owners more than our kids. Kids deserve freedom too.

Pediatricians come in all political stripes, but more than 90% of pediatricians favor some form of reducing easy access to guns.

We pediatricians understand that when it comes to kids health, the elephant in the room is guns. Guns are killing our kids. Through homicide, suicide, and accident they are a leading cause of death throughout childhood. And overall, the death rates of kids from guns are the same in urban centers and in farm country. It’s an issue for all of us, not just for people leaving someplace else.

I know there are many other aspects to this story – helping families cope, school safety strategies, teaching kids non-violent problem solving, etc. – but we need to wake up to the scope of the problem. Another Newton is not inevitable.

Continuing this is our choice.

The Food Pyramid: Gone and NOT missed! On June 1, 2011 I logged on to MyPyramid.gov for kids and played their Blast Off Game “An interactive computer game where kids can reach Planet Power by fueling their rocket with food and physical activity.” I registered as Alan, an 11-year-old boy. The results were slightly less horrifying than when I did this in 2006 (and reported my findings). But just barely.

When you launch the game, you’re invited to select food items and physical activity for the day from a list that varies occasionally if you play several times. When you’re satisfied with your choices, press the Blast Off button and the game will analyze your diet to see whether it would give your body the optimal fuel to complete your journey.

My Breakfast

To start the day I chose chocolate sugar cereal. Because the nonfat milk it came with seemed rather bland, I added a cup of chocolate milk to go with it. At this point an alert popped up, but perhaps not the alert you’d expect after a junk food breakfast with a double dose of sugary chocolate:

“STAR PILOT! It’s clear you know your facts. You’ve chosen 2 low-fat/fat-free foods. Great job!”

I was still hungry, so I added a white bread English muffin to my white flour and sugar breakfast.

My Lunch

At school I selected a Sloppy Joe sandwich on a white bun and received a 3-star alert, but again it might not be what you’d expect:

“Well Done! You have enough Grains!”

My Sloppy Joe seemed like it was missing something, so I added French Fries (deep fried). My meal still didn’t seem complete, so I added a second order of French Fries (deep fried). I was feeling a little guilty at this, so wasn’t surprised when an alert popped up – but was surprised at what it said:

“Well done! You have enough Vegetables!”

My lunch was missing something sweet, though, so I grabbed a glass of apple juice. Lo and behold, another alert:

“STAR PILOT! You just grabbed a 100% Fruit Juice. Good job!”

Being called a STAR PILOT is nice, so I went back and added some apple juice to my breakfast and chose apple juice for my afternoon snack, along with a glass of milk. I did receive an alert that whole or cut-up fruit is even better than fruit juice, the best advice I’d gotten so far. For physical activity I did some household chores. I set the table, I emptied the dishwasher, I made my bed, I put away some of my stuff. It seemed like it took an hour, but never got my heart pumping.

My Dinner

It’s been a long day! I chose fried chicken for dinner. This time I got TWO alerts. One suggested that more of my grain choices should be whole grains. I hadn’t expected fried chicken to prompt a grain alert, but I’m glad it did. This alert was one of two improvements I’ve seen in the 2011 version (the other is a much broader selection of healthy foods that a child could select. Kudos for that.). I also got another 3-star alert, this one expected given my Sloppy Joe and fried chicken:

“Well Done! You have enough Meats and Beans!”

Still, something seemed like it was missing from my dinner – from my whole day, really. And I knew just what it was: gravy! So I added an order of gravy for my fried chicken. That sounded so tasty that I chose a second order of gravy as well.

Ready for the Test

I was feeling stuffed, so it seemed like time to push the Blast Off button and have my diet analyzed. My food all tasted great, but I was a bit nervous about what they would suggest I change. How was my fuel? The big moment arrived. Mission Report Received! From Mission Control to Astronaut Alan:

• Grains: Congratulations! You reached optimal levels. (Remember my “optimal” grains? Refined grain sugar cereal, white bread English muffin, white bun. Not a single whole grain.)
• Fruits: Congratulations! You reached optimal levels. (Remember my “optimal” fruits? Apple juice. 4 servings.) ƒ
• Milk: Congratulations! You reached optimal levels. (I didn’t know sugary cereal with chocolate milk was optimal!)
• Meats and Beans: Congratulations! You reached optimal levels. (Sloppy Joe and fried chicken)
• Vegetables: Congratulations! You reached optimal levels. (WHAT??? I don’t remember any vegetables. Oh. Right. Two orders of French fries, and I think there were some chunks in the Sloppy Joe mix.)
• Activity: Congratulations! You reached optimal levels. (And I thought I had to run or dance or jump or do sports or play hard or get outside. I’m glad setting the table counts.)

“Based on your food choices the MyPyramid rocket ship landed on Planet Power. Everyone at Mission Control is very pleased with your fueling choices.”

My food choices made them happy. And to top it all off, I won a certificate! MyPyramid Mission Control Certificate of Commendation to Junior Astronaut Alan for piloting the MyPyramid rocket ship successfully to Planet Power by making healthy food and physical activity choices.

And that is why…

And that is the story of how I came to hate the food pyramid and why I am celebrating its demise. Viva la Plate!

Could this get any worse? See Part 2 of Alan’s Nightmare Food Pyramid Journey.

Alan’s Full Menu from his Nightmare Food Pyramid Journey

Some of our children’s food choices are made at home – but as they grow, many are made in childcare or at school. We need our schools and daycare centers to be working with us, not against us in teaching children to enjoy healthy amounts of good food, cultivating Nutritional Intelligence.

About half of all middle schools and high schools in the US permit advertising of candy, fast-food restaurants, and/or sodas at school! This practice is most common in Ohio (nearly 70 percent of schools) and least common in New York (24 percent).

Does advertising affect our kids’ food choices? Of course it does! And in more ways that you might think. The Institute of Medicine has found that advertising to children affects their preferences, purchases, and consumption – changing their habits for different food and beverage categories, in addition to specific product brands.

Some estimate that each year, nationwide, for every dollar spent on promoting junk food to our children only about 1/10 of a penny is spent promoting healthy food. Schools are one place where the opposite should be true. At least.

CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) Children’s Food Environment State Indicator Report, 2011.

IOM (Institute of Medicine). 2005. Food Marketing to Children and Youth: Threat or Opportunity? Washington, DC: The National Academies Press.

Yale Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity. “Fast Food FACTS: Evaluating Fast Food Nutrition and Marketing to Youth.” November, 2010

Every Child Deserves Fresh Fruits and Vegetables: The Great American Salad Bar Project

Frequently when I talk to groups about how to get their kids to enjoy food that’s good for them, I talk about the smell, taste and feel of the rich, round, red tomatoes that parents all over the world grow in their backyards (watch my short video, The Tomato Theory). I tell parents that one of the best ways to encourage their kids to enjoy fruits and vegetables is to engage them in preparation and serving – as far upstream in the process as possible. Let them help water the seedlings, gently pull the fruit from the vine, carefully slice the veggies for the salad and artfully create a colorful salad for the dinner table. The more children participate in the process, the more willing they will be to discover the fresh tastes (and nutrients!) that await them.

In a perfect world, all children would have access to the wonders of a family garden, and all parents would have enough time to help them discover it. But in today’s hectic world, not only do many backyards lack gardens – some kids rarely see fresh foods and healthy grains on their plates at all! More than 30 million children rely on the National School Lunch Program every school day, and the food that’s served in many school cafeterias is as far away from “garden fresh” as you can get – nachos, pizza, French fries and other high-fat, low-nutrition fast food staples.

That’s why I’m bursting with pride to be the vice president of a nonprofit organization that is launching the Lunchbox Project and the Great American Salad Bar Project. We’re working toward a healthy salad bar in every school across America so all kids have access to fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains and healthy proteins every school day.

Between now and November, schools that are ready to seek to make real, healthy changes to their school cafeterias can apply for one of 300 grants. Each grant recipient will receive the equipment and training they need to set up their salad bars. Whole Foods Market has already raised close to $9 million so far with the goal of sponsoring salad bars in every community their stores serve.

My friend Chef Ann Cooper is the founder of the Food, Family, Farming Foundation, and I’m proud to be on the team that makes her dream a reality and helps bring flavorful, fresh food to our children’s tables. When you hear students say things like, “Looking across the vast salad bar options was like looking at an artist’s palate,” you know this project will teach kids to appreciate the beauty and nutrition of fresh, healthy food.

Take Action!

• Does your child’s school need a salad bar?   You need to click here to share the information with school leaders to apply for a grant.
• How’s your lunch box? Check out The Lunch Box online toolkits with Healthy Tools for All Schools to transform your school food into healthy and delicious meals for your kids.

Each day 3,000 kids start smoking.  One third of them will die from their addiction.

Most preschool children today view smoking as an unhealthy, negative behavior.  Somewhere around the time of kindergarten, however, this often begins to change.  They begin to think of positive aspects of smoking – that it is cool, that it can help you calm down, that it’s grown up, etc.  Many kids become quite ambivalent about smoking at this age.  Your greatest opportunity to prevent smoking lies between about the ages of 6 and 12.

When my son, Kevin, was a participant in the California State Scholastic Chess Championships.  During the lunch break, we grabbed a quick bite to eat.  Over lunch, another of my children (who shall remain nameless) picked up a straw, placed it still-wrapped in the mouth and began to pretend to smoke a cigarette – feeling very grown-up.  Quickly I checked to make sure no one in the restaurant recognized us (just kidding!).  Actually, we used it as an opportunity to talk again about all the people who are killed by cigarettes, and why smoking is not a game.

During this age, children need to hear you reinforce the consequences of smoking often, particularly the short-term consequences.  Get your kids talking about what they think about cigarettes.  Their ideas will guide your teaching.

Children also need to hear the truth about smoking from their schools.  Check to see that your children’s schools have smoking curricula.  The Center for Disease Control (CDC) and the National Cancer Institute (NCI) have free guidelines for curricula available, outlining what should be covered, how it should be communicated, and when these lessons are most important.  School-age children often look up to their teachers a great deal.  If the teachers’ lounge smells like smoke, children will notice the smell on their teachers.  When kids hear one thing from their teachers and see (or smell) another, the message is badly undermined.  If teachers who smoke wish they could quit (and a great many smokers do), it could be helpful to tell the children this, giving them a vivid example of the addictive powers of nicotine.

A teacher could even ask the class to encourage her in a stint at trying to quit – the class could function as a kind of support group.  If the teacher succeeded in quitting, the message to kids would be that they can be powerful health-promoters.  If the teacher failed, the message to kids would be that cigarettes are indeed terribly addictive.  In that case, she could promise to try again in a few months.

Avoid pretend smoking and candy cigarettes.  Some of the packages of candy cigarettes available look amazingly like the real thing.  If some other industry had their product copied, lawsuits would quickly ensue.  But not in this case!  The tobacco companies are glad to have kids imagine and model smoking behaviors.  Bubble gum is also available in packaging that looks like a tin of smokeless tobacco.

Help your child to notice the marketing campaign that is actively trying to deceive children and adults.  If your child sees a tobacco ad full of smiling, active people in a magazine, ask what the tobacco industry is trying to trick you into thinking about cigarettes (that smoking makes you happy and athletic).  Ask what the truth is (that smoking discolors the teeth, gives you bad breath, causes cancer in the mouth and throat, and decreases your athletic ability).  Kids can really get into this game, and it helps make them wiser.

In addition to emphasizing the health dangers of tobacco, children at this age need to be taught a vital skill – how to say “no.”  Throughout the school years, peer opinions and behavior gain increasing sway.  Sometimes children will start to smoke if they don’t want to, just because they’re afraid to refuse a friend.  Teaching refusal skills to your school-age child is well worth the investment.  A great way to do this is to practice.  If your child is able to say that cigarettes are harmful, ask “What would you say if your best friend offered you a cigarette?”  Let your child try out several answers.  Kids who have practiced and who have ready responses will be more free to make their own choices regarding tobacco, sex, alcohol, drugs, and nutrition.

When I see twelve year olds in our clinic, I still need their parents’ permission to treat them for strep throat or eczema. But parents’ permission, or even their knowledge, is not required for pediatricians in our state to provide contraception, or to treat pregnancy-related issues, sexually transmitted diseases, alcohol or drug abuse, or depression.

The middle school years are a time of enormous transition. Childhood is giving way to adolescence; the primacy of parents is giving way to the forging of peer relationships and networks that have deeper influence than ever before.

These changes are reflected in the changing role of the pediatrician. Starting in middle school, I begin asking the parents to step outside the room for a portion of each visit, to give the student, my patient, a chance to talk or ask questions confidentially. Meanwhile I ask some questions of my own: about school, friends, moods, smoking, sexual activity, etc. Being excluded from this conversation sometimes makes parents feel uncomfortable.

I see parents as vitally important to their children’s well-being, and encourage teens to communicate with them. Most teens I see only every year or two. So I offer some thoughts to parents on how to navigate these wonderful, tumultuous years. I have four kids of my own, ranging in ages now between 12 and 21.

1. Build a communication bridge with each child. Quietly develop an interest in some topic that your child is passionate about, learn the details, and keep up with what is new. Choose something that you can both relax and enjoy talking about, even in times of stress. Keep that topic free from any argument or nagging – a safe zone. And build a setting for conversation into the routine – family breakfast or family dinner can be a great conversation anchor. If you haven’t learned to be an agile texter, it’s a good time to start.
2. Build bridges to great peers. In middle school and high school, perhaps the greatest predictor of their behavior is the expectations of their friends and peers. Friendships are forged in shared experiences. Go out of your way to facilitate shared experiences for your children with the friends that bring out the best in them. These last few intense chauffeuring years, where you are a major source of transportation, are a real opportunity.
3. Build bridges to their dreams. Listen for their aspirations, both short- and long-term. Encourage them to dream. Find ways for them to try the dreams on – connect them with people, experiences, opportunities, books, movies to support their dreams. And don’t mind at all when the dreams change dramatically, and it’s time for them to explore something else.
4. Build bridges to memories. Think back on some of your favorite childhood family memories. This is a great time to create some for your own family, when your children are old enough to appreciate and remember them, and young enough that they are not pulled in as many directions as they may be soon. Use photos, videos, and stories to keep those great memories present.
5. Family traditions are important. When kids are entering into middle school, it’s a good time to re-think your traditions in light of what will work when they are in the busy high school years, when they move away to college, or when they out on their own. We try to have at least a few days every season set aside for something special (such as our annual Dad’s birthday weekend at the Russian River, not far from our home). This could still work when they all have families of their own. We’ve moved the date around considerably, as well as the location (this year won’t even be in California), but we always do “Russian River.”

Our teens will require our time, our attention, and our money one way or another. When we can, it’s better to invest these in building bridges than in rescue operations. Each family finds their own way. None of us is perfect. But it is certainly possible to enjoy the transition years, and to become even closer during them, as the nature of our relationship transforms as much as our children do.

What are your challenges, concerns, solutions, and thoughts on those years in the middle? What wisdom can you share? Humorous stories welcome. We all need to laugh.