Your child’s teachers are working every day to create a consistent environment so all of their students, including your child can succeed. But as school budgets get cut and class sizes get larger teachers are hard pressed to give as much individual attention to children as they would like.  Your child’s teacher needs a partner in your child’s education and that partner is you!

I am a parent as well as a teacher.  When my children go to school I want them to be in an environment where they can learn and be able to succeed.  I will help my child succeed every time, but I have to know what the teacher expects.  I am sure you are the same way.  So how do you know what your teacher expects?

Knowing Teacher’s Expectations

Teachers are always trying to communicate their expectation effectively.  With technology at everyone’s fingertips communication is even easier.

Teachers use a class syllabus, online grade books, a class website, an online calendar, some teachers even post their lesson plans online.

Class Syllabus

Many teachers will send home a paper syllabus with their expectations.  Not only with their classroom rules, but it will outline major test and assignments.  This is the least amount of technology use for you, but with MS Publisher and Apple’s Pages program these once boring piece of information are becoming more useful for parents.

Online Grade Book

Just about every school uses an online grade book.  Parents can log in and see exactly what grades their child has at anytime of the year.  No more waiting until midterm or the end of the grading period.

Class Website

For my band class, I have a website that is hosted by Wikispaces.  More teachers are using websites each year.  Some schools require website from all their teachers.  Important dates, project materials, even classroom forms are uploaded to the website to help students and parents.

Online Calendar and Lesson Plans

More teachers have been using the Google Calendar App since it is a free public calendar that can be used.  Many teachers will load the assignments on to their calendar and still have their students copy the dates into their daily planners.

Even lesson plans posted online can show students and parents exactly what will be taught throughout the week.  Some online grade books come with the ability to show lesson plans, other teachers post them to their websites.

What You Can Do

The unfortunate thing is that many times the students will still act like they had no idea an assignment was due.  That is where the teachers need your help as a parent.  They need a partner.

When your child brings home their syllabus, or you check the teacher’s website, lesson plans or online calendar take out your personal calendar and mark those important dates like big test and projects.

That way when you won’t be running to Walmart at 11:00 PM the day before your child’s history project is due.  You can work the glue and glitter into your normal shopping list. Check every few weeks.

The most successful students in my class are successful because their parents care about what my grade book, online calendar, and website says.  This helps you stay on top of your child’s progress.

Teachers have about 40-60 minutes a day to teach a class where your child could be 1 of 30 students.  To ensure that your child becomes a successful student, become a supporting pillar in your child’s education and use the time when your child is your 1 of 1 and help support the teacher’s expectations consistently.

Ever since 18 month old child prodigy Elizabeth Barrett read flashcards on The Today Show, parents have been asking me what they can do to help their children acquire similar skills and learn to love reading.

Experts say that most children learn to read between the ages of six and seven and it is not beneficial to try to push a child to read before then. In fact, recent research shows that, quite to the contrary, it can actually do more harm than good. One of the most damaging things you can do to affect your child’s relationship with books is to create pressure for her to read which can foster a negative association between your child and reading making her less likely to want to read.

There is, however, one simple and inexpensive thing you can do which will guarantee a positive difference in your child’s reading success and that is reading aloud to her, which parents can even start while their child is in utero. Not only does this help to create a healthy relationship between your child and reading, it is also an excellent bonding ritual which has other beneficial elements for both parent and child.

There are many benefits to reading to your child, most notably the positive association between reading and pleasure that can last a lifetime. The other positive effects apparent in children who are read to are:

• increased vocabulary
• greater acquisition of knowledge
• greater academic achievements
• pursuit and completion of higher levels of schooling
• better performance on comprehension tests
• better attitudes about reading
• better scores on tests of reading, writing, and speaking

The single best predictor of language acquisition is the number and quality of words a child is exposed to each day. Reading has the added benefit of exposing children to “rare words,” complex sentences, literary devices like alliteration and rhyming, descriptive language, and original synonyms and story conventions (i.e. “in a land far, far away”). According to Betty Bardige and Marilyn Segal, authors of Building Literacy with Love, “children who have lots of experience with books are likely to develop richer vocabularies and deeper understanding of the meanings, sounds, and uses of words than those with less literary experience. They are also likely to be familiar with the conventions of language and story form that they will encounter when they begin to read for themselves.”

Reading makes a world of difference in achievement. An international study of 150,000 fourth graders found that students who were read to at home often scored 30 points higher than those who were only read to “sometimes.” In a study done by the US Department of Education researchers found that children who were read to at least three times per week had significantly greater phonemic awareness when they entered kindergarten than children who were read to less often, and were also twice as likely to score in the top 25 percent in reading.

It Starts at Home

It is up to parents to create enthusiastic readers. Studies show that children who come from what researchers call a “print-rich environment” consistently score better in writing, reading and math skills than those from “print-poor environments.” Print, in this case, relates a wide variety of materials, including: books, magazines, newspapers and even comic books. When researchers examined 21 kindergarten classes to see who displayed high interest in reading and who showed low interest in reading it became clear that the home environment and parents’ reading habits are crucial factors. Of the high interest group, over 78 percent had mothers who read for leisure, 60 percent had fathers who read for leisure, the families had, on average, more than 80 books in their home, more than 98 percent of the kids were taken to the library and more than 76 percent were read to daily. This compared to the low interest group where only 28 percent of the mothers read for leisure, fewer than 16 percent of the fathers read for leisure, they averaged fewer than 32 books in the home, only 7 percent were taken to the library and fewer than 2 percent were read to daily.

An addition, book ownership is a significant factor in reading enthusiasm and achievement. According to Jim Trelease author of The Read Aloud-Hand Handbook children need to have books that they own, ones that they can put their name in and don’t have to share with siblings.  He also believes that as they get older they should be able to mark up books by writing in margins, highlighting and earmarking pages. This allows kids to learn new words, come back to passages that intrigue them and make the reading experience their own.

What Else You Can Do

Start reading to your child right away. Children, even infants, are never too young for a picture book. Understand that attention span is a learned process. Infant reading studies show that most infants average a three minute attention span. However, like exercising a muscle, those who are read to regularly can have an attention span as long as 30 minutes a day.

Take your child to the library. When children from “print poor” environments were taken to the library and given the opportunity to check out books, 96 percent of parents reported an increase in reading after the visit.

Let your child read in his bed or crib. 72.2 percent of children classified as “heavy readers” have parents who allow them to read in bed, compared to only 44.4 percent of those who were considered to be nonreaders. Start the habit early by allowing your infant or toddler to take board books into bed as soon as they show interest.

Be a role model. Children read more when they see other people reading. There is a direct correlation between how often children read for leisure and how often their parents do.

Create reading rituals. Create regular times in your children’s day when you read to her. My daughters look forward to hearing two books after every meal while they are still in their chairs. We started this started this ritual as soon as they were able to use a highchair. Many parents use nap or bedtime for a reading ritual.

Keep books on hand at all times. Bring books with you wherever you go: to the park, doctors’ appointments, play dates, relatives’ homes, etc. Keep them in the car, in the diaper bag, in your purse and any place else you can think of.

Read to your child regularly. A study of early readers, like Elizabeth Barrett, found that their parents not only read them books but also read package labels, street signs, billboards and other reading material that they encountered throughout the day.

Make writing utensils and paper readily available to your child. Early reading curiosity often comes in the form of scribbling, drawing, copying objects and letters of the alphabet.

Answer all your child’s questions. Satisfy your child’s curiosities even if the questions interrupt reading a great story.

Have book baskets throughout the house in places where they are accessible. Have these baskets in your children’s rooms, bathrooms, the kitchen, living room, and the car. A study of children who are most interested in reading found that they came from homes where books and printed materials were spread around the house, not just in one or two places.

Give your child a bed lamp. As soon as your child is old enough to read in bed get him a night light and allow him to stay up past his bedtime to read.

Point to the words as you are reading them. According to Trelease, the visual receptors in the brain outnumber the auditory receptors 30 to 1 and therefore the chances of a word being retained in our memory are 30 times greater if we see it instead of just hearing it. Also, it helps younger children to start to make the connection between letters and sounds.

Use books to help you deal with difficult situations. Children coping with the loss of a beloved pet can get solace from reading a book like The Tenth Good Thing about Barney. A toddler who is hitting a sibling can learn from Hands Are Not for Hitting.

Get books about topics that interest your kids. If you notice your toddler showing interest in birds, buy books about birds. If your child seems interested in fire engines get books about fire engines.

Always read the name of the author and illustrator. This helps children understand that people create books. It also gives them the opportunity to pursue other books by the same author if they like the book. With older children it is recommended that you help the author come to life by reading the dust jacket or even googling the author to learn a little something about him or her.

Have regular family reading time. During this time kids can read anything they want, even magazines or newspaper while the parents read, too. This should be a relaxed time and kids should not be quizzed about their reading. It can be as short and 10 minutes and as long as one hour, depending on the ages and concentration levels of your children.

Turn off the TV. Every minute that your child sits in front of the television is a minute he is not reading, playing, exercising, or being creative. Not only does TV viewing directly cut in to reading time, but once exposed to television and given the choice, most kids will pick television over books. Keep in mind that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no television viewing prior to the age of two and suggests that parents limit their children’s viewing to fewer than 10 hours a week. This makes sense since an international study of 87,025 children in four countries found that children who view more than 10 hours of television in one week experienced a proportional decline in their academic scores.

I was pleased to attend a talk at a local Barnes & Noble by Dr. Ellen Bialystok, who was speaking about the cognitive benefits of children being bilingual. She is a Distinguished Research Professor of Psychology at York University in Canada. I have been following her work for a long time and have cited her research on bilingual children on our web site.

Dr. Bialytsok walked us through studies she did on groups of monolingual and bilingual kids, comparing their reading, writing and processing skills. Her studies showed that not only did the bilingual children have the same level of vocabulary and ability to read in English as the monolingual kids, but in addition there were many cognitive benefits to learning a second language. The main one is that it is a great workout for the front lobes of the brain, which are in charge of all of our “executive functions”. These functions include processing language, critical thinking and other intelligence related skills such as concentration and retention of information. She also shared evidence that showed that even limited exposure to a foreign language can modify how children think and enhance their cognitive skills. In other words, it’s not all or nothing and every bit counts.

After the talk I met Dr. Bialystok and learned that in 1981 she had been awarded the ACTFL-Paul Pimsleur Award for Research in Foreign Language Education; my father’s legacy! What a thrill. She is making such an important contribution to this field of study and helping parents like me to feel confident that we are doing the right thing for our children by introducing them to a second language.

Learn more about why starting early with a second language is key.

Each day 3,000 kids start smoking.  One third of them will die from their addiction.

Most preschool children today view smoking as an unhealthy, negative behavior.  Somewhere around the time of kindergarten, however, this often begins to change.  They begin to think of positive aspects of smoking – that it is cool, that it can help you calm down, that it’s grown up, etc.  Many kids become quite ambivalent about smoking at this age.  Your greatest opportunity to prevent smoking lies between about the ages of 6 and 12.

When my son, Kevin, was a participant in the California State Scholastic Chess Championships.  During the lunch break, we grabbed a quick bite to eat.  Over lunch, another of my children (who shall remain nameless) picked up a straw, placed it still-wrapped in the mouth and began to pretend to smoke a cigarette – feeling very grown-up.  Quickly I checked to make sure no one in the restaurant recognized us (just kidding!).  Actually, we used it as an opportunity to talk again about all the people who are killed by cigarettes, and why smoking is not a game.

During this age, children need to hear you reinforce the consequences of smoking often, particularly the short-term consequences.  Get your kids talking about what they think about cigarettes.  Their ideas will guide your teaching.

Children also need to hear the truth about smoking from their schools.  Check to see that your children’s schools have smoking curricula.  The Center for Disease Control (CDC) and the National Cancer Institute (NCI) have free guidelines for curricula available, outlining what should be covered, how it should be communicated, and when these lessons are most important.  School-age children often look up to their teachers a great deal.  If the teachers’ lounge smells like smoke, children will notice the smell on their teachers.  When kids hear one thing from their teachers and see (or smell) another, the message is badly undermined.  If teachers who smoke wish they could quit (and a great many smokers do), it could be helpful to tell the children this, giving them a vivid example of the addictive powers of nicotine.

A teacher could even ask the class to encourage her in a stint at trying to quit – the class could function as a kind of support group.  If the teacher succeeded in quitting, the message to kids would be that they can be powerful health-promoters.  If the teacher failed, the message to kids would be that cigarettes are indeed terribly addictive.  In that case, she could promise to try again in a few months.

Avoid pretend smoking and candy cigarettes.  Some of the packages of candy cigarettes available look amazingly like the real thing.  If some other industry had their product copied, lawsuits would quickly ensue.  But not in this case!  The tobacco companies are glad to have kids imagine and model smoking behaviors.  Bubble gum is also available in packaging that looks like a tin of smokeless tobacco.

Help your child to notice the marketing campaign that is actively trying to deceive children and adults.  If your child sees a tobacco ad full of smiling, active people in a magazine, ask what the tobacco industry is trying to trick you into thinking about cigarettes (that smoking makes you happy and athletic).  Ask what the truth is (that smoking discolors the teeth, gives you bad breath, causes cancer in the mouth and throat, and decreases your athletic ability).  Kids can really get into this game, and it helps make them wiser.

In addition to emphasizing the health dangers of tobacco, children at this age need to be taught a vital skill – how to say “no.”  Throughout the school years, peer opinions and behavior gain increasing sway.  Sometimes children will start to smoke if they don’t want to, just because they’re afraid to refuse a friend.  Teaching refusal skills to your school-age child is well worth the investment.  A great way to do this is to practice.  If your child is able to say that cigarettes are harmful, ask “What would you say if your best friend offered you a cigarette?”  Let your child try out several answers.  Kids who have practiced and who have ready responses will be more free to make their own choices regarding tobacco, sex, alcohol, drugs, and nutrition.

What are you teaching your kids? You may be shocked to realize much of your child’s behavior, whether appropriate or not, is connected to how you parent.

Parenting is the toughest job you will ever have. What other job requires you to supervise, protect, teach, encourage, love, provide for, and use empathy, thoughtfulness, kindness, patience and creativity every moment of the day? It is a job that can be very trying but the rewards will fill your heart with each smile, laugh and, “I love you” that your kids return.

Parents often say, “I hope when my child goes off to college or moves out they make the right decisions.” Or “I hope they can take care of themselves.” What I would say to those parents is- it is the early lessons they learn from us that allow them to succeed in life.

First of all, the truth is that the earlier we start teaching our children important lessons and give them responsibility, the easier it will be to continue those lessons as our children reach their teenage years and approach their twenties.

If we want to raise a child that will be a responsible, productive adult, who can take care of themselves, we need to start paying attention to the messages we are conveying to our children even when they are very young. We also need to emphasize learning, having fun and allowing kids to explore their world, but we should begin introducing our kids to money management, teamwork, household responsibility, ownership and social cooperation.

Start Teaching Lessons Early

By the time your child is 2 you can have them help you with easy tasks around the house. When you are doing laundry, allow your child to help you. Let them help carry the clothes or put them in the dryer or help you pour the detergent in the washer. It is fun to help mom at that age and without even saying anything you are starting to lay the foundation for teamwork, cooperation and household responsibility.

Even my 18 month old helps clean up toys and throws a tissue in the trashcan for me when I ask. You can see the sense of pride at having accomplished the task when he runs back to me after throwing the trash away. As your child gets older, you will want to add the amount of help or chores they do around the house. Children need to be given more responsibility as they get older and they need opportunities to learn what to spend their money on.

Two Guiding Principles for Raising a Child to Succeed

Of course, your primary concern is providing your kids with love, respect and the necessities but beyond those, these principles will help you raise independent children that will learn to take care of themselves and the world around them.

1. Language- What you Say is What You Get

It is important to be aware of the language we use when talking about housework, yard work, chores, money, helping others, and teamwork. We are our children’s first teachers and we have an opportunity to teach them throughout life if we honor that responsibility and privilege with respect. We may not feel like doing laundry or dishes, or vacuuming or saving money, but if you are positive or explain the necessity of those chores and saving to our kids, as they grow, they will be more likely to help with important work around the house. If you want your kids to do chores as they get older, be mindful of how you approach the chores.

2. Be Consistent with Your Discipline, Teaching, and the Messages You Convey

Consistency is one of the most important things in parenting. It is so easy not to be consistent but children actually feel more secure when there is a consistent message to our parenting and, amazingly, their behavior usually reflects it.

Kids Need to Learn Patience and Delayed Gratification

It is so important for kids to learn that everything does not happen right when they want it to. It is also important that they learn they do not get a toy just because they want it. An important lesson to work on with your kids is teaching deferred gratification and patience.

I learned my lesson with this principle. When I would go to a store like Target, on occasion I would buy something that only cost a dollar for my kids. Well, after doing this 2 or 3 times, I realized when I did not buy them something they threw a royal fit and acted like possessed children. I was shocked and embarrassed. I realized I had broken the cardinal rule – do not let them think they are entitled to get something for no reason.

I thought it’s only a dollar. My kids thought, we get something every time we go to the store because mom said it did not cost very much. As soon as I realized I had caused this problem I worked to fix it and within a week or two it had been resolved.

If you are wondering how I stopped the tantrums and begging it is simple. Before going into any store, I explain to my kids why we are going to the store, what we are getting, and I explain if I am getting anything for them (usually I am not unless it is for a special reason).

The other thing I do is tell them when they see something they want, that they can save their money and buy it once they have enough money or they can wait until their birthday or Christmas and ask for it and maybe they will get it if that is really what they want.

Once I was consistent with my message, my explanations and my actions, the kids behavior improved because I reinforced my rule and, in the process, my kids are learning about delayed gratification and patience.

Kids Need to Learn How to Handle Disappointment

Many parents focus on providing everything for their child. Every opportunity, every new toy or product, but it is actually very healthy for your child to learn how to handle disappointment. I am talking about an experience in life that does not go their way. It is an opportunity to coach your child, to listen and reassure them and explain that sometimes things do not work out the way we want them to. A good example of an appropriate disappointment is a child’s soccer team losing a game or your child having to miss a birthday party or not being able to take riding lessons.

I am not suggesting you purposely create disappointment for your child. I am merely explaining that disappointment is part of life and that, if we have small doses of it as we grow up, kids will be mentally able to handle these situations as they grow into adults. Be aware and sensitive to your child’s disappointments, but do not try and make up for the disappointment, just listen to them and talk through it and give them hope for a different outcome next time.

It is Your Responsibility to Teach Them Life Lessons Everyday

I know many parents who spoil their kids with every toy or outfit, or new gadget they want. I also know parents who usually give in to their child’s request to eat something else or stay up late. There is a time for bending the rules, but in everyday parenting we need to remember we are the adults, we make the rules and we need to help guide our children in the direction we want them to go.

We need to provide them with the information and practice in making smart decisions, learning to work with others; learning to save for important or necessary purchases and that sometimes life closes a door in front of us. These lessons will teach them that we work hard to open another door and to walk through with confidence and strength.

Today’s generation of children is growing up unlike any previous generation in history. In the last 10 years there has been an explosion of digital and electronic media available to and even targeted at children – even our very youngest children. Lots of DVDs are aimed at kids 0 to 18 months old. Television networks for toddlers, handheld video games for preschoolers, and computer games for children as young as 9 months. And of course, there is the Internet… What’s the impact of all this media on the young? Is it decreasing their time spent reading or playing outdoors? A preliminary study published in the May 2007 Pediatrics at least catalogued what is going on in today’s kids aged to 6 months to 6 years. Children in the study were reported (by parents) to watch an average of 1 hour 19 minutes on a typical day (more if there was a TV in the child’s bedroom, or in single parent families). In addition, children averaged 1 hour 18 minutes of DVDs. According to the parents, most kids do not play any form of video games on a typical day (only 16 percent of 5-6 year oldsdo), but those who do spend about an hour a day playing. By contrast, the kids were much more likely to spend time at the keyboard, either playing computer games or other computer activities – taking about another hour. This is starting to add up!

And the kids are quickly becoming comfortable using these media by themselves. More than half of the 6 month to 2 year olds were already turning on the TV themselves. Many were already inserting and watching DVDs on their own. By age five, more than 70 percent were comfortable navigating a computer with a mouse. They are off to a different start than we were.

We live in a digital world, and I am glad that kids are getting an early exposure to this ‘language’ of our new century – as long as it does not crowd out other important ‘languages’ to learn to understand and love at an early age: outdoor play, reading, and spontaneous and imaginative creation.

This study measured reading time and outdoor play time. Not surprisingly, some kids got plenty, others not enough. What was surprising, though, was that there was no difference in these items overall between those who spent many hours with digital media and those who did not. Media did not seem to be a culprit here! My take home: be sure kids are enjoying the important parts of childhood that we and our parents before us grew up with. Modern marvels can enhance their lives without crowding these out.

What’s your take? Many parents in the study were fans of bedroom TVs to help their kids sleep. Ironically, it seems that the televisions often worsen sleep in the short-run and lead to sleep problems down the road. They just keep our overtired children quieter.

Vanderwater, E.A., Rideout, V.J., Wartella, E.A., Huang, X., Lee, J.H., and Shim, M. “Digital Childhood: Electronic Media and Technology Use Among Infants, Toddlers, and Preschoolers.” Pediatrics. May 2007, 119, pp. e1006-e1015.

Would you rather your kindergarten-age child had blood lead levels 3 times the safe limit (like children living next to a lead smelters – double the level of most kids with lead toxicity), or would your rather your child snored? The impact on the brain is about the same, according to a provocative study in the October 2004 Journal of Pediatrics.

Sleep-disordered breathing (SDB) is the name given to a spectrum of sleep breathing patterns ranging from mild snoring to obstructive sleep apnea. In this study of more than 200 children, those with SDB scored significantly worse on tests of behavior, memory, intelligence, and ADHD than did their peers – even if they only had snoring without sleep apnea.

Given the poor scores on wide variety of tests, it’s not surprising that their school performance also suffered. Thankfully, treating snoring at this age seems to improve performance. The authors suggest that 3 to 6 years old is the peak period where snoring is harmful to development, and also the peak age at which treating snoring can make a big difference in behavior and learning. Overall, about 1 in 10 children this age snore.

I love watching young children at play. Kids are designed with energy to burn. Unfortunately, though, they’re not burning it!

Preschoolers are so naturally full of curiosity and energy that it’s almost a cliché – but today’s screen-time activities have taken that curiosity and funneled it into a sedentary lifestyle. A disturbing study in the July 17, 2004 Lancet followed the daily routines of three-year-old children, and found that they spent most of the day sitting around.

Television, videos, computers, and video games can be quite mesmerizing. The kids in the study average only 20 to 25 minutes a day in active play – only about a third of the (conservative) 60 minutes a day usually recommended. I recommend that kids get at least two hours a day of active play to truly thrive now and in the future. We are raising the most sedentary generation of children in the history of our planet. If we want to improve the health of our children we urgently need to help them make a habit of active fun.

At around age three, most children enter into a magical time where make-believe is the order of the day. Imagination and creativity spring to life. Playtime becomes a setting where wonderful dreams and desires are acted out as kids learn how to pretend. A few props can turn an ordinary rainy afternoon into a trip to a magic castle or the Old West. But this rich imaginary world is peopled with both heroes and villains, with both marvels and monsters. New fears are a necessary part of entering the world of possibilities.

As the imagination blossoms, kids who never before had problems with the dark are now terrified. The neighbor’s friendly dog is seen as a menacing danger. An ant on the sidewalk might as well be a powerful alien. Monsters!

Acknowledge the fear, while remaining calm yourself. Assure her of your protection and support. When children see that you take their concerns seriously, they feel closer to you and are more ready to work through the fears.