Each day I see parents trying their best to do what’s right for their families, but no one has the perfect guidebook that tells parents what to do. Here are the top ten solvable problems that I advise parents to remedy today.

1 ) Do… Have confidence in your parenting style.Don’t… Worry about what your parents or the neighbors or your child’s teacher thinks about your parenting style. Create a parenting style that makes you comfortable and relax.

2 ) Do… Create an exercise program for yourself.Don’t… Skip it because you don’t have the time. Kids follow our example.  If we’re not exercising, they won’t learn to either.  So take care of yourself and teach your kids to do the same.

3 ) Do… Take the time to create healthy love foods for your family.Don’t… settle routinely for food that isn’t helping them build a strong body and mind. What children eat is vitally important and the foods they learn to love when young will often be their favorites as adults.  You can create healthy love foods for them by what you feed them now and give them a life-long gift.

4 ) Do… Give your kids a good multi-vitamin each day.Don’t… Trust our food sources to provide all the nutrients kids need. Most kids don’t eat 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day.  Even if they did (and I do encourage at least that many) our food’s nutrient density has gone down.  Kids need a good multi-vitamin each day to round out their nutritional needs.

5 ) Do… Stay consistent with your rules.Don’t… Let whining wear you down. If you want a child to sleep in her own bed, then letting her sleep in your bed “just this once” is going to make it much harder later.

6 )  Do… Think about the things that matter.Don’t… Pick the wrong things to worry about. You need to pay close attention to some things, like your kids’ safety.  But don’t sweat the small stuff even if it means your kids sleep in their street clothes instead of pajamas.

7 ) Do… Take advantage of today.Don’t… Wait until tomorrow to build life-long memories. Plan something every season that your kids will look forward to year after year.

8 )  Do… Pay attention to both your perspective and your child’s.Don’t… Lose sight of your needs or theirs. If we focus too much on whatever children want, or too much on what we want, they miss out on learning both to give and receive.

Dr. Greene’s Answer:

Most kids hit or bite at some point. Those who keep it up usually feel they are getting something out of it. Either getting their way or getting attention (even negative attention), getting their siblingunhappy, or just getting a chance to express anger.

To help them go faster through this phase, immediately go to the child who is bit or hit, scoop him/her up for a hug, while saying, “No, no biting” to the biter. Then say he is in time-out and set a timer for three minutes. Don’t give him the attention to try to get him to stay in any particular place or go anyplace, just don’t pay attention for three minutes and at the end, when the timer dings, it is over.

For most kids, it is better not to have a “time-out” spot because if they leave, they are getting away with something or you pay attention to them trying to get them to stay. Either way, the time-out doesn’t work. The timer is important so that the end is not subjective. After the timer rings, treat him normally. In between, repeat the message, “In our family, we don’t bite.” Kids are trying to learn family identity at that age. In the meantime, try to teach him alternatives to get his way or express being upset.

In addition to time-outs for negative behaviors, give your child plenty of praise for positive behaviors. When your son is playing well with others and not biting or hitting, praise him for playing nicely. Children innately want a parent’s attention and affirmation. Your praise will act as strong motivating force for your child to avoid aggressive behaviors in the future.

Dr. Greene`s Answer:

Ten months old is part of the Great Age of Exploration. Most kids have learned to maneuver across the room and they want to handle and examine (and often mouth) most everything they find. So the first step is to create a good environment for this. Remove as many things as possible that he shouldn’t mess with and strategically place cool things for him to explore.

Still, kids do need to learn the word “no.” You want to reserve “no” for only a few things at that age–activities that might hurt the baby or others or objects that he might destroy. A simple “no” followed by “no touch,” then moving him or the object, is usually enough. If the room has a lot of items that can’t be moved, then a portable play yard is a good idea–a place where he can handle anything he finds. But again he should have new things to discover every day.

The word “gentle” is also a great one to teach. Model it for him when he is a bit too rough. Say “gentle” softly and then show him how to do what he was doing in a more pleasant way. Around other children, if he hits or bites, it’s time to say “no” firmly.

Dr. Greene’s Answer:

Just as habits take a long time to form, they often take a while to change. It’s not too late for this boy to learn constructive ways of behaving. One of the main ways that kids learn is by experimenting and then observing the results. If a child tries tantrums or defiance and gets results he likes, the habit becomes more deeply ingrained.

One of the first things that parents need to do is figure out which behaviors they want to change and what their child has been getting out of them. The faster they can make those behaviors unsuccessful for him, the faster he’ll let go of them.

Kids also learn a lot from imitation, stories, videos, and their peers. Finding him friends who are well behaved and reading him positive stories may help. It can be tough for kids to figure out constructive ways to get the results they want. When kids are behaving well, that should be acknowledged. Parents should make their child’s attempts at good behavior successful, engaging them with as much energy when they are sweet as when they are exasperating.

Making this change can be tough for the parents, but it is well worth it. It also may be worthwhile for both parents and their child to meet with a behaviorist who could help them recognize unhealthy patterns.

Dr. Greene’s Answer:

With a 7-year-old, you want to set just a few rules, but it’s important to keep them consistent. Tying them to taking away privileges is often the best form of discipline for kids this age.

The need to jump and throw is very strong at age 7, so finding him a more appropriate place to jump and throw may help. Be sure he spends plenty of time outdoors in the backyard or a local park.

It may help to problem-solve with him. You want him to feel like you’re on his side, so that he wants to be on your side. Sit down with him and say, “We’ve been disagreeing a lot recently.” Then state to him his perspective as best you can, with as much detail as you can. Say something like, “You feel bored because there’s nothing fun to do. You want to jump off the back of the couch. You don’t think it’s going to hurt you or the couch.”

Go on for a while trying to state his perspective so that he can see that you really do understand what he’s going through. He may correct you. If he does, that’s great because then you’ll know more about what he’s feeling. Then very briefly state your perspective that jumping or throwing does sometimes hurt things in the house and ask him to help come up with a solution. Say, “Let’s think of things together that will work for both of us.”

It can help to come up with a list of activities to do when he’s bored as well as a list of possible consequences for when he misbehaves. Agree on a few things and then shake on it. Making a pact like this can help both parent and child feel good about planning for success.