While for most teens, spring means exams and term papers, it also means job hunting season is open.  Start your résumé/cover letter preparation and job search well before school ends. Don’t fall into these traps if you want a good summer job because the longer you wait, the less jobs that will be available.

Trap# 9:  I can wait until July to get a summer job.

Good luck with that approach.  Because of the struggling economy, teens are now competing with college graduates for summer employment.  A lot of the best summer jobs are snatched up by grads by April and May.  So by the time you clean out your locker, a lot of opportunities will be long gone.  Depending on the job that you are seeking, start your search no later than May.  Have all your materials ready (résumés, target list of companies, discussion points highlighting your skills, etc.) by March or early April.  And start the search soon after asking if the company plans any summer openings.  Don’t miss out on an opportunity just because you assume that everyone will wait for you.

Trap# 10:  I should look for a summer job where I can work with my friends.

Everyone is different and what works for one person won’t necessarily work for another – even if that other person is someone with whom you have a lot in common.  If someone you know has a job that interests you, look into it but be aware of the fact that it may not necessarily be a good fit for you.

Plus many people have found that hanging out with a friend is one thing, but working with them is another.  On the job, many people’s demeanor and focus change and many become much more serious.  And if your friend gets you the job by putting a good word in for you, you have added responsibility to do your best and not tarnish his/her reputation.  Sometimes working together ends friendships.

You will need to invest time and research in your job search as well as patience and an open mind.  Regardless of your expectations of the job, make the most out of it.  You won’t regret it.

When I see twelve year olds in our clinic, I still need their parents’ permission to treat them for strep throat or eczema. But parents’ permission, or even their knowledge, is not required for pediatricians in our state to provide contraception, or to treat pregnancy-related issues, sexually transmitted diseases, alcohol or drug abuse, or depression.

The middle school years are a time of enormous transition. Childhood is giving way to adolescence; the primacy of parents is giving way to the forging of peer relationships and networks that have deeper influence than ever before.

These changes are reflected in the changing role of the pediatrician. Starting in middle school, I begin asking the parents to step outside the room for a portion of each visit, to give the student, my patient, a chance to talk or ask questions confidentially. Meanwhile I ask some questions of my own: about school, friends, moods, smoking, sexual activity, etc. Being excluded from this conversation sometimes makes parents feel uncomfortable.

I see parents as vitally important to their children’s well-being, and encourage teens to communicate with them. Most teens I see only every year or two. So I offer some thoughts to parents on how to navigate these wonderful, tumultuous years. I have four kids of my own, ranging in ages now between 12 and 21.

1. Build a communication bridge with each child. Quietly develop an interest in some topic that your child is passionate about, learn the details, and keep up with what is new. Choose something that you can both relax and enjoy talking about, even in times of stress. Keep that topic free from any argument or nagging – a safe zone. And build a setting for conversation into the routine – family breakfast or family dinner can be a great conversation anchor. If you haven’t learned to be an agile texter, it’s a good time to start.
2. Build bridges to great peers. In middle school and high school, perhaps the greatest predictor of their behavior is the expectations of their friends and peers. Friendships are forged in shared experiences. Go out of your way to facilitate shared experiences for your children with the friends that bring out the best in them. These last few intense chauffeuring years, where you are a major source of transportation, are a real opportunity.
3. Build bridges to their dreams. Listen for their aspirations, both short- and long-term. Encourage them to dream. Find ways for them to try the dreams on – connect them with people, experiences, opportunities, books, movies to support their dreams. And don’t mind at all when the dreams change dramatically, and it’s time for them to explore something else.
4. Build bridges to memories. Think back on some of your favorite childhood family memories. This is a great time to create some for your own family, when your children are old enough to appreciate and remember them, and young enough that they are not pulled in as many directions as they may be soon. Use photos, videos, and stories to keep those great memories present.
5. Family traditions are important. When kids are entering into middle school, it’s a good time to re-think your traditions in light of what will work when they are in the busy high school years, when they move away to college, or when they out on their own. We try to have at least a few days every season set aside for something special (such as our annual Dad’s birthday weekend at the Russian River, not far from our home). This could still work when they all have families of their own. We’ve moved the date around considerably, as well as the location (this year won’t even be in California), but we always do “Russian River.”

Our teens will require our time, our attention, and our money one way or another. When we can, it’s better to invest these in building bridges than in rescue operations. Each family finds their own way. None of us is perfect. But it is certainly possible to enjoy the transition years, and to become even closer during them, as the nature of our relationship transforms as much as our children do.

What are your challenges, concerns, solutions, and thoughts on those years in the middle? What wisdom can you share? Humorous stories welcome. We all need to laugh.

Should all 11 and 12 year old girls be vaccinated against sexually transmitted human papillomavirus (HPV)?

Michigan appears poised to be the first state to enact this requirement for all girls entering middle school (though parents could opt out for religious or medical reasons). Many other states are likely to follow suit quickly.

Cervical cancer is second only to breast cancer in the number of diagnoses made each year in women; about a third of the cases are fatal.

The HPV vaccine, approved by the FDA in June 2006 for girls as young as age 9, appears to be virtually 100% effective at preventing the two strains of HPV that account for about 70% of all cervical cancers. It looks like this vaccine could prevent many needless cancer deaths in women every year.

As a pediatrician whose wife has had breast cancer, I am moved by the suffering that might be prevented in my daughter and others in the next generation.

The main argument being raised against making this a standard middle school vaccine is the concern that it might encourage promiscuity among teens.

It seems to me that there are many, many factors that are more likely to promote sex than this shot – and that many of them do not offer such huge potential benefit. It also seems to me that the teenage years may be the most important time to provide this protection. Of course, each family should be allowed to reject the vaccine easily, if they choose. But how wonderful if the shadow of cervical cancer is shifted away from the majority of girls!

Even though advertising for smoking was banned more than 30 years ago, smoking has been going up among teens since 1991. One possible reason? The way smoking now shows up on screen. 

According to an article in the September 2002 issue of Pediatrics, “smokers are typically portrayed as attractive, successful, and influential  … often with sexually suggestive content. Rarely is smoking portrayed in an unattractive manner or associated with negative consequences.” Does this really make a difference?

The study went on to find that children ages 10 to 15 who watched 5 or more hours of TV per day were 6 times more likely to start smoking than their peers who watched less than 2 hours. Those who watched 4 to 5 hours were more than 5 times as likely to start smoking. This strong, direct, TV-dose to smoking-risk relationship held up even after other risk factors – income, intelligence, parents’ education, etc. – were taken into account.

Decreasing TV viewing may decrease the risk of smoking – but the tobacco messages are everywhere. A recent review of 81 G-rated movies found tobacco use in 43 percent of them. If we let children watch, we owe it to them to comment on what they see.

Even though the legal drinking age in the United States is 21, more than a quarter of all alcohol consumed here is drunk by people under the age of 20! Experts at Columbia University’s National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse have found that more than 30 percent of today’s high school students binge drink at least once a month (five drinks in a row) and that teen drinking represents a $27 billion dollar annual business in the US.

Within hours of the announcement, the alcohol industry began criticizing the report, calling it “flat out wrong”. They say that only 10 percent of all alcohol is consumed by teens.

While others argue about the numbers, our concern is our teens. Build a bridge to your teen by developing an active interest in at least one thing your child loves. This will give you something positive to talk about as a backdrop for whatever other conversations you have.

Don’t be afraid to bring up the consequences of drug and alcohol abuse. Watching TV or a movie together can be a good springboard for conversation. And have dinner together whenever possible, as a chance to connect. Be your child’s biggest fan. Help facilitate friendships with positive peers, and actively model positive behavior yourself.

If you do suspect a problem, waste no time in getting professional help. But whatever else you say or do, the most immediate message children need repeated is that if they or someone they know has been drinking, they MUST NOT get behind the wheel. Call. And there will be no negative words from you that night, just help getting a ride. Tens of thousands of teens are killed or injured each year in alcohol-related crashes. Tens of thousands of parents know the pain of this tragedy.