As a feeding therapist, I work closely with the parents of picky eaters.  Parents are often stressed and have tried everything in their power to get their kids to eat nutritious foods.  When I ask a mom or a dad what they ultimately want out of therapy, they typically respond “I just want to enjoy family dinner.”

Learning to be an adventurous eater takes time.  Here are a six strategies for keeping mealtimes joyful while learning to try new foods:

1. Farmer’s Markets, Gardening & the Produce Isle:  Before new foods ever show up on their plates, create family memories by gardening or shopping together at Farmer’s Markets and the produce isle.  Get the kids involved preparing new veggies in the kitchen by washing each one in a carrot, parsnip and rutabaga car wash under the kitchen faucet.  Older kids can chop, younger kids can count the pieces as they fall into the serving bowl. 
2. Start the Meal with a Song.  Preschools do this all the time when transitioning to a new activity, such a snack or circle time.  Try playing “On Top of Spaghetti” as you sit down at the table for Pasta Night.  Set the tone for the rest of the meal with music.
3. Dish Up Family Style: For most families, family style serving encourages your child to interact with new foods, such a peas, by dishing up his plate.  Better yet, make him in charge of dishing up everyone’s plates.  It’s simple, the more exposure he has to peas, the more he gets used to the presence of peas on his plate.  That’s the first step to eventually tasting peas.
4. Don’t focus on the bite.  All the bribing and pleading just to get kids to take one bite just adds stress to family mealtimes.  If your child continues to have trouble trying new foods, consult a professional feeding therapist, typically a certified speech language pathologist or occupational therapist who has experience with picky eaters.
5. Get Messy.  Kids need to explore foods through all of their senses and our hands have millions of nerve endings that enable even the youngest eaters to learn about all aspects of food before it reaches the mouth.  If you child can’t tolerate the texture of Grandma’s mashed potatoes (as delicious as they may be) then help him create mashed potato pictures, finger paint with colored mashed potatoes and build mashed potato mountains.
6. Keep it joyful!  Family mealtimes are about FAMILY.  Studies from Columbia University found that kids who have regular family meals grow to make better decisions regarding drugs, drinking and peer relationships.  It’s an important time for them and for you.  Focus on the family – and try some of the tips above to eventually celebrate that first bite of broccoli!

Learning to be an adventurous eater is a step by step process…enjoy the journey!

Most parents tell me that their elementary school child has 20 to 25 minutes to enter the school cafeteria,  search for his lunchbox buried in a portable tub, find a place to sit, open all the containers, eat (oh, right, eat), then clean and pack up before the bell rings.  In an effort to ensure that their kids eat anything at all, well-meaning parents pack lunchboxes filled to the brim with a smorgasbord of options. 

Picture this: Your little first grader searches for spot in a sea of tables, newly found lunchbox in hand.  She squeezes in between his best friends, climbing up onto the metal bench, feet dangling, with her  little elbows resting on the much too high table top, just below her chin.  Most school cafeterias provide the same size seating for the entire school, whether the kids are 3 feet tall or towering 5^th graders, about to move on to middle school.  Ever try to eat a meal on a narrow bench, your feet dangling and no back-rest?  It’s not easy.  By the time your child gets  the plastic bags opened, the juice box straw unwrapped and poked hard enough into the box that it squirts her in the face, all while holding up her other hand  to signal the teacher “Can you please open this lid?” well, another 5 minutes have passed by.  Meanwhile,  she’s excited to get out to recess, now just 15 minutes away.

As a feeding therapist, I visit lots of school cafeterias and have learned that parents and teachers have one priority: Getting kids to eat a nutritious lunch.  In contrast, kids have this priority: Talking to their friends.  How then, does a parent pack a lunch, especially for a picky eater, that allows their child some much needed “down time” to chat with friends yet fill their bellies quickly and nutritiously?

Here are 3 strategies to do just that:

1. Send one easy open container plus a drink.  I recommend EasyLunchboxes® BPA-free system, because the lid is easy for little fingers to pop off and instantly reveal 3 to 4 yummy choices.  It’s quick and not as overwhelming as a lunchbox filled to the brim with individual containers, especially with 6 to 8 choices, which is what I often observe.
2. Pack “GRAB and GAB” food.  Cut fresh fruit, veggies, sandwiches, cheese, etc. into small enough pieces that kids can grab a piece without gazing down and continue to gab with their friend across the table.  My favorite speedy gadget is FunBites® which instantly creates grab and gab bites, yet has no sharp edges.  It’s a fun way to get  kids in the kitchen making their own lunch – once again, get them involved and they are more likely to eat it later.  (For 25% off your entire order, use the code MyMunchBug at checkout.)
3. Pack a power packed drink.  Include a frozen smoothie that you made the night before.  Freeze it directly in the cup (with a lid, of course) and be sure to include a wide straw.  By the time your child opens her lunch, the smoothie will be the perfect consistency, plus it helped to keep the lunch cold.

One elementary school that I visited was graciously flexible to help one little girl eat better.  They provided a smaller table that fit her so that her feet could be on the floor (or try a box underneath little feet to as a footrest). The table should be at sternum-height so your child can see her food and rest her arms for stability.  Smaller tables also reduce cafeteria noise and foster social skills thanks to smaller groups of kids sitting together.

Here’s a picture of that sweet little girl.  Note the easy “grab and gab” food in one (and only one) container.  See the rest of the food on the table?  That belongs to the two other kids seated across from her.

Tell me about your kids’ cafeterias – the good, the bad and the delicious!  What can we do to help kids in school get more time and more options for a healthy lunch?

Tomorrow’s post: Tips on enjoying family dinners, even with a hesitant eater.

The following is #3 in a 5 part series on helping children become more adventurous eaters.

Parents tell me that lunch is typically the best meal of the day for picky eaters – meaning they’ll eat “something”. Often that’s because 1) They skipped breakfast and are starving; 2) They get the same foods every day for lunch and/or 3) They eat best when in front of the TV or in the car between activities.

“But, at least they’re eating,” parents tell me. I understand, I do! However, if the goal is to help a child become a more adventurous eater, then the tactics above will backfire. Over time, try the following 3 strategies instead:

1. Create a Hunger Schedule, not a Hunger Strike. We talked about the importance of hunger in yesterday’s post. It’s worth repeating because it’s crucial to success. This does not mean that if you let a kid get hungry, he’ll eat anything. But, if a child is not hungry, he is very unlikely to try a new food. Too hungry and kids gobble up just their favorite comfort foods, because they are too cranky to consider any other options. Starving is a bad time to try anything new.
2. Present one New Food on His Plate (with the familiar favorites). If he fusses about it, be calm and concise and say very matter-of-factly: “Yep, we’ve all got carrots on our plates today.” Then, move on to a new topic. Say it once and don’t revisit it, no matter how much he tries to protest. Just learning to accept the presence of the food is the first step for many kids. If the topic turns to learning about carrots and he informs you, “Hey, these are what Bugs Bunny eats!” then join in and come up with every fun fact you can think of:
   • Did you know that the greens on carrot tops were once used to decorate the hats of royalty?
   • Spiderman eats carrots so he can see better in the dark. He told me so.
   • I can crunch this carrot louder than your father – listen…CRUNCH!!!
3. Sit with Your Child, facing him, whenever possible. Eating in front of the TV or staring out a car window with food from the drive-thru is at times, just a part of our lives. But, the goal is to learn about new foods, rather than be distracted from what we are eating. Ever been to a movie theater, huge tub of popcorn in your lap, and then been astonished that you ate it all? I doubt that if you had that tub in front of you while sitting at the table that you would have eaten the whole thing. Yes, a child will eat more volume when distracted, but there is no learning taking place for the long term goal: creating an adventurous palate and a child who loves to try new foods.

How do you feel if your child eats the same food for most lunches? Would you like to expand to other options, or are the same few choices okay for you and your family? I would love to know your thoughts – it helps me to hear from parents, thank you!

Tomorrow’s post: Do you open your child’s lunchbox after school, only to find he barely ate anything?  Visit tomorrow to learn strategies for filling your kids belly FAST before the recess bell rings.

Stress, panic and fear…the holidays are here! The next two months are usually the most stressful for parents of children with picky eating habits. Tensions are oftentimes high during this season and dining in the homes of extended family members can make a parent feel like they have to hover over their child’s every move just to keep the holidays… well… happy! Here are four ideas to help you enjoy your festive meal with your family and prevent a mealtime meltdown:

1. Social Story

Kids love a good story, especially when it is about them! So when you’re preparing your child for Thanksgiving dinner, make a social story about how the meal came to be. What family recipes were used? What family traditions were involved? Who is chosen to carve the turkey? What is the story behind the china they are going to eat off of? Take pictures, include their name throughout the story, print it out and read it often. You can even make it funny and talk about a holiday blooper from a previous year!

These types of stories support the social and emotional issues surrounding the food served which may facilitate a new thought process for a picky eater. Sweet potatoes might have been rejected initially, but a story about it being grandma’s secret recipe and mommy’s favorite food when she was a little girl might encourage a bite… or two!

2. Setting the stage

Once you have made your holiday plans start setting the stage for success! If you are going to grandma’s house and there isn’t enough room at the main dinner table for kids, start practicing with your child eating at the “kids table”. At your Aunt Betty’s and she expects all the kids to eat off china plates? Then start practicing by eating off of “special plates”. Will there be eating by candlelight? Practice with that! Recreate the scenario your child will be experiencing in order to make them feel comfortable and willing to eat in a new environment.

3. Sous Chef

We know that children are much more likely to try a food if they have helped prepare it. When they have a vested interest in the meal it can increase their desire to partake in all the food festivities! Going to your in-laws? Ask if you can bring the salad or dessert that you and little Sally made!

4. Statements

It can be stressful when well-meaning family members, who only see your kids once a year, make judgmental comments. “Billy STILL isn’t eating green beans?” “If Johnny came to live with me for a week, I would have him eating.” Statements like these can be hurtful to you and may negatively impact your child. Come prepared with a response to these types of statements.  Make sure the responses are delivered in a calm, educating voice.

“I am glad that you are bringing this up. Billy was very nervous about coming today. So can you help him by not mentioning his pickiness and honoring his efforts to at least try?”

Or:

“Actually, Johnny has a feeding disorder and we are working hard in therapy to encourage him to try new foods. We would love your support this weekend in making him feel relaxed about eating.”

Planning ahead can allow you to feel more confident and help keep you in the mindset of nourishing your child’s emotional needs as well as their nutritional needs during holiday meals.  What are some ideas you use to prepare your child for holiday meals? How have you handled negative comments about your child’s picky eating?

Happy Feeding!

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As parents there are so many things we want to pass on to our children.  Being a picky eater is definitely NOT one of those things.

So what happens if you want your kids to be healthy eaters and YOU are a picky eater??? It’s not an easy challenge to lead by example when you have a hard time with healthy eating yourself however it’s also not mission impossible! How do I know this is true?  Because I am still on that path myself and working on becoming a more adventurous eater! I think you would be surprised to learn that there are a lot of picky adults out there, so if you are one, don’t worry you’re not alone and there’s hope!! There are things you can do to get your kids on a path of healthy eating while taking that same journey yourself.

Get Rid of Guilt and Keep Trying

It’s so hard to “know” that you need to be setting a good example for your children but at the same time you can barely choke down a Brussels Sprout! The thing about guilt is that it is pointless and just keeps you feeling stuck.  Your kids are not doomed and neither are you…it’s never too late!  Take small steps everyday towards healthy eating, these things add up and turn into a good habit!  It takes time and many exposures for your taste buds to get used to something new.  It took me two years to finally enjoy red peppers!  I started off cutting them up extremely small (about the size of an eraser on a pencil) and would mix them in with food I enjoyed such as pasta sauce and on homemade pizzas.  Pairing new foods with old favorites is a great way to train taste buds!  Eventually the pepper pieces got bigger and bigger and now I wouldn’t think of picking them out of anything I eat!  We can work on our own eating habits at the same time as our children…turn it into a fun adventure together. So don’t waste any time feeling bad and just starting taking those baby steps with your child!

Watch Your Words and Keep Trying

Try to avoid saying strong statements such as ” I HATE broccoli” or “I don’t eat ANYTHING green” when you are eating with your kids because you don’t want to have them attach those feelings to the foods they are suppose to be eating.  The way we talk about food, especially around our kids does affect them, so instead you can try using phrases like “Broccoli isn’t my favorite but I’m going to give it another try” or ” I’m not used to the taste of spinach yet but I’m working on it!” You don’t have to like and pretend you love something when your kids can clearly see you barely choking it down.  When my daughter was younger she would say “My tongue isn’t friends with that yet” so we would keep introducing whatever it was that she didn’t like and most of the time they eventually ended up becoming friends! I think it’s good to let your kids know that everyone has likes and dislikes and that’s okay as long as we can keep an open mind and keep trying!

Get Creative and Keep Trying

Sometimes we get stuck in a food rut and forget that things can be prepared and served in many different ways! Since texture sensitivities can play a big role in picky eating it’s really important to try mixing things up to find what works best for you and for your kids.  You might find that kale is too strong raw but turning it into kale chips and voila you can eat a whole bowl in one sitting!  Personally I don’t enjoy the texture of raw blueberries but I love them when they are frozen. I think a lot of us experienced vegetables as over cooked mushy things that we had to eat as kids and that left a bad taste in our mouths so to speak!  But you can do so many things with vegetables and prepare them is so many different ways that if you are willing to explore you will find a combination that works for you and for your kids.  It might not be the same but that’s okay too.  My husband prefers broccoli raw and I prefer it steamed so when we have broccoli at our house we just leave some uncooked…no big deal!!  Buy some produce and see how many different ways you can prepare it…then set up a taste testing station at the table and give each a try…it will be fun for your kids and a great way to see what everyone prefers!

The best advice I can give is to keep trying new foods! It can take at least 15 exposures before a new food is accepted so if you don’t like something the first time keep trying it at least 14 more times! I believe we can turn any problem into a positive and picky eating is no exception. I can’t think of a better motivator to break out of the picky zone than wanting to set a healthy example for our little ones. Being a picky parent just means we have to work a little harder at it!

Texture was an unexpected learning for me. When I look back on the whole of Battle Orange, the number of recipes and the lengths I went to, I have to shake my head and sigh. One recipe solved the whole thing. One.

I decided to make sweet potato fries, baked, to go with a lean burger recipe. I love sweet potato fries and was really making these for myself. Imagine my shock as I watched my kid eat one, two, four helpings of that orange food.

Then the one thing I had missed finally came to me! Texture! My child also would not eat mashed potatoes and other mashed foods. It had little to do with orange, other than the first orange dishes I tried shared that same soft texture. I finally understood why she would eat some orange recipes and not others. Texture.

These days, I avoid a lot of the mashed vegetable recipes, or fix them for myself and my spouse — knowing they will probably be refused by the kiddo. I’m okay with this. A lot of kids have even more extreme reactions to textures. For those kids, some of these tips may work:

• Try a vegetable both cooked and raw where possible. Some kids love crunch, some don’t.
• For kids who have issues even eating fruit, try recipes where the texture is extra kid-friendly like smoothies and popsicles.
• Try to prepare green vegetables like broccoli and green beans to a “tender crisp” point and no more. This texture offers the best flavor and crunch.
• Explore recipes that leverage the textures your kid will eat. Expand from here as your kids gets older and past his pickiest phase.
• When you are stumped by a food behavior, sometimes the issue is not what you think. I thought orange was the problem, not texture! Explore all the tips in the series sooner rather than later so you don’t end up preparing, say, 200 lbs. of winter squash before you solve it!

We’ve all had those days, right? The ones where our little one is on a mission to battle us on everything from wearing bunny slippers instead of shoes, shorts in winter, this toy instead of that one, getting in the car seat … right up to what’s for lunch. The whole time, shouting a resounding chorus of “Me do it!”

Those lunch time battles right now? They have nothing to do with food and everything to do with your little ones newfound independence. Fortunately we can deal with it much the same as all the other battles.

• Offer two choices, both healthy, and give your kid control over what he wants to eat

• Remove all the bad food choices from your house to eliminate the battle. It’s not like the two-year-old is going to drive to the store for a six pack of soda!

• Serve the healthy stuff when your child is at her hungriest, but don’t wait so long that “hungry” becomes a melt down.

Older kids want control, too. For some this means making a request for you to cook separate meals. Avoid this! It’s hard enough for us parents to get one meal on the table. Try engaging your kids in the process instead.

• Have your child begin to help choose healthy foods, recipe and to prepare those items with you. Engage them in the whole process, while educating them about why healthy foods are so important.

• Take a “family vote” approach to your menu, by giving your child a say in foods he does and does not like, you can work together to find recipes that work for everyone — and defuse the conflict.

• Try growing herbs or a few vegetables with your kids. Kids are more likely to try new foods they have helped grow or prepare.

• Make kids responsible for helping with the family meal, things like helping with the dishes and setting the table help them understand your efforts and they should be less likely to treat you like a short order cook.

• Finally, don’t force bites or hold back dessert for a ransom in green beans. This approach just makes the healthy food less desirable and the desserts more so. Enjoy your food, model healthy eating and keep your eye on the long-term goal of a healthy family.

What’s your best tip for avoiding food fights? How do you approach the issue at home?

When I was a child and my family was gathered together for a meal, my father would sometimes look each of us in the eye and say, “All for one, and one for all.” We eagerly repeated this to each other, enjoying the sense of belonging, service, and support. Even when those words weren’t there, the meal together was a tangible expression of our connection. My childhood is now long gone. Life has been full of ups and downs, and it seems ever more complicated and busy. But the simple tradition of family meals has had a long impact. These days, when my family sits down to dinner, my wife and four children around the table, we like to clink our glasses together and declare, “All for one, and one for all!”

It’s hard to overestimate the enormous potential of families sharing meals together. Prepare to be inspired! Even without giving extra effort or conscious thought, family meals are associated with better nutrition, better health, better behavior, and happier children, parents (and grandparents). Experts today are wringing their hands about the obesity epidemic in children and depression in teens; citizens are concerned about violence; educators are distressed by falling school performance. I wish I could write a simple prescription for all families: find a way to enjoy as many meals together, especially at home together, as you can.

Dozens of scientific studies have demonstrated an impressive list of benefits associated with eating together as a family. But some people have correctly pointed out that in the earlier studies it wasn’t clear which was causing which. It made sense to suspect that eating together promoted the benefits, but it was also possible that the association found in the studies was because happier, healthier families were just more likely to eat together. The more recent studies have taken into account other measures of family connectedness and concluded that the benefits we will explore do indeed arise at the table together.

The nutritional benefits alone are dramatic. Getting kids to eat vegetables can be frustrating for many parents. As kids eat more meals at home with their parents, they naturally begin to eat more fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and healthy dairy products than their peers do. They are significantly more likely to achieve their nutritional needs. And they eat less in the way of deep-fried foods and drink fewer sugared and carbonated beverages. Increasing the frequency of family dinners is associated with substantially higher intake of several specific nutrients, including fiber, calcium, folate, iron, vitamins B6, B12, C, and E; and with lower average glycemic index; and with lower intake of saturated and trans fats. The benefits are even greater if kids are involved in mealtime preparation and cleaning.

Contrast a family-around-the-table meal at home to a meal at home with the television. The more often that children eat in front of the television, the more likely they are to get more of their calories from fatty meats, pizza, salty snacks, and soda; and the less likely they are to get them from fruits and vegetables. Children in high television-meal families also average twice as much caffeine consumption as do their peers. And meals out are even worse! The typical kids’ meal in many restaurants is a nutritional wasteland. Fast food meals more than twice a week are associated with increased obesity and type 2 diabetes. Simple family meals are an important strategy to improve nutrition, prevent obesity, and improve health. But they do so much more!

Youth who eat more family meals perform better in school. They spend more time on homework, get better grades, and spend more of their free time reading for pleasure. And they are happier. They are less likely to use alcohol, tobacco, or marijuana. They are less likely to engage in early sexual activity or to have eating disorders. Their self-esteems are higher, on average, and they are less likely to become depressed. Teens who eat many meals with their families are half as likely to think about suicide.

Even though this article focuses on parents and children, meals with grandparents are also very valuable for all concerned. The elderly, even senior citizens with dementia, enjoy many similar benefits, the more often they eat with their families or have family-style meals.

Each family meal can be a place of calm in the sea of busyness that roils around us. It can be an oasis of connectedness and simple joy. Family meals offer routine and consistency in the midst of change. They are opportunities to learn together about communication skills, manners, nutrition, and good eating habits. They build family identity and unconscious memories to last a lifetime. Family meals may also provide an important time to “check-in”, during which parents can tune in to the emotional well-being of their children and each other.

Clearly, for most families where someone works or attends school away from home, many, many meals will be apart. But even enjoying 1/3 of your meals together represents enormous, gentle, lasting, quiet power. It’s not clear which meals together – breakfasts, lunches, or dinners – are most valuable. I suspect it would be different for different families.

An August 2004 study in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine followed thousands of youth. About ¼ of them reported having family meals 7 or more times a week. About ¼ reported having family meals 2 times or less a week. Those who enjoyed 7 family meals a week demonstrated significant, measurable benefits such as those we have been discussing, including better grades, less depression, less suicide risk, and less substance abuse – even in families that were otherwise similar. Imagine how powerful it could be for our families to gather together around the table more often. And imagine how powerful it could be for our nation and for our world if we could double the number of families that get 7 meals together each week, and cut the number who get only 2 family meals in half. A quiet, tableside revolution!

When I pick my daughter up from middle school, usually the first question out of her mouth is, “What’s for din-ner?” Her refrain is so oft repeated that the boys often chime in or anticipate her question by a beat. Yes, she’s curious about the food choices, but her deeper questions are about our family evening. Who’s got what practice, rehearsal, game, or show? What are our evening plans? How and where will be together?

Tonight, as it happens, we’ll be driving to have dinner with my parents to celebrate my mom’s, twin sisters’, and nephew’s birthdays this week. All for one and one for all!

Nearly one sixth of high school boys and one third of high school girls show some of the symptoms of an eating disorder, according to a presentation at the 2001 annual meeting of The Society for Adolescent Medicine.

Over 5000 students from 152 high schools nationwide were surveyed about their eating habits. Very unhealthy symptoms such as compulsive eating, binge eating, and vomiting were more common that suspected. 12% of the high school girls surveyed said they vomited to control their weight!

Eating problems are much easier to treat before they become full-blown eating disorders. Seek help from a healthcare professional if you wonder about a problem in your teen.