Sex Should NOT Hurt!

Sex should not hurt. Here are some reasons why it might & tips for decreasing pain. If hurting doesn’t improve quickly, talk to your doctor

Dr. Greene’s Answer:

Sex hurts? How unsettling! And much more common than you might imagine. Doctors have a name for this; we call it dyspareunia (pronounced dis-pah-ROO-ne-ah). Most women have gone through a stage in which intercourse is painful; in up to a third of women, this has lasted a long time. 1 There are many reasons why having sex can hurt.

Before we look at some of the more common reasons, I’d like to say a word about communication. Sometimes sex is hard to talk about. I’ m very glad you asked your question here. Dyspareunia can be solved, one way or another, for people who are willing to ask about it.

One of the key things to learn during your current difficulties is that it’s important to talk with your partner about what is going on. Tell your boyfriend why you like him and what feels good when you are together. But also tell him when something hurts. Learning to work together is an important part of sex.

Sex Should NOT Hurt

What might be causing the pain depends on whether sex has always hurt or if this is a recent development; whether it hurts every time or only sometimes; and (perhaps most importantly) whether you feel the greatest pain when the penis first enters or once it is in deeply.

Friction

If you hurt as the penis first enters, the most common problem is not enough lubrication. Friction in this sensitive area can hurt! Your organs normally get wet and slippery as part of sexual arousal. Taking more time for sexual play before intercourse is often all that is needed to turn a painful experience into a pleasant one. Too fast is usually too dry.

A water-based lubricant (do not use lotion, baby oil, or Vaseline) you pick up at the drugstore can work wonders, but don’t ignore the reason for decreased lubrication, if you know what it is.

Fear

Fear, too, can decrease lubrication. Fear of infection, fear of pregnancy, and fear about the relationship are all common. Abuse or incest can leave you dry until the real hurt is healed.

Inflamation

Pain on insertion might also come from inflamed external genitals. The tissue might be inflamed from a yeast infection, warts, herpes, or some other infection. Sometimes the area is tender from a benign cyst called a Bartholin’s gland cyst. All of these conditions require medical treatment.

First Time

Intercourse can also remain painful as long as the hymen is partly intact. If you can insert a tampon comfortably, a mechanical obstruction is not likely.

Deep Penetration

Pain with deep penetration usually comes from the deeper organs being tender. This includes the ovaries, uterus, bladder, and even the intestines. At your age, the most common reasons for deep pain are ovarian cysts, a retroverted uterus (positioned so it gets bumped during intercourse), abdominal adhesions (in people who have had abdominal surgery), and an infection called pelvic inflammatory disease.

Many other, less common conditions (such as inflammatory bowel disease) can also make you hurt. In some positions (such as lying on the side), penetration is not as deep, and sex might be more comfortable.

Take Action

But if the hurting doesn’t improve quickly, you’ll also need to talk to your doctor about the pain. Be sure to tell them whether the pain has always been there or is new. Describe what hurts most and when. Work together to identify the cause. Don’ t stop asking about this until you understand why sex hurts and until you’ve gotten relief from the pain. Having sex shouldn’t have to hurt.
Footnote References:
1 Glatt, AE, Zinner SH, McCormack WM. The prevalence of dysparenia. Obstet Gynecol 1990;75:433.

Dr. Greene is a practicing physician, author, national and international TEDx speaker, and global health advocate. He is a graduate of Princeton University and University of California San Francisco.

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  1. Mbali

    Hi I’m a young woman of 29 year. I have a problem here I didn’t bleed during the first time when I having a sex so from there I didn’t the good or nice of sex because everytime I experience the only pain . Plz help me

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  2. Myne

    I lost my virginity at 15 for a guy 10+yrs set than me. The thing is I never felt pleasure during sex. A little fraction of my clitoris gives me a little pleasure. But during penetration, I don’t feel anything. I’m 24 now and never try to have sex for 7 yrs because I’m scared and terrified of not feeling anything.

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  3. Ali

    How do I talk to my boyfriend about the pain? I feel bad because I can’t give him every part of me.

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    • Lenni Doyel

      He probably already knows something is up. Likely he’d be relieved that there is a physical problem that you might be able to get help with — it’s not that you don’t want him. Maybe say something like “I feel really bad about this, but something is wrong physically. I’m going to go see a doctor and see if I can get help so I don’t feel pain when we have sex.” I bet he’ll be happy you’re getting help.

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  4. Angela

    I’m a 29 year old adult. Sex has always been painful for me, ever since the very first time. Since the years have gone by more specific pains have happened. More so penetratation had always been and issue, but it’s always the upper part of my pelvic area internally. Something about the initial insertion is always the worst part, because of a intense pain/burning/almost stinging sensation that had kept me away from sex all together. Even when or if I can bring myself to push past that pain, to deep insertion becomes a problem. I’m constantly having to stop in the act because of some kind of internal pain. I’ve done research and read about others expierences. None quite fit my own issue. I’ve potentially given up on the entire idea of any kind of penetration what so ever.

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  5. Tay

    One time me and my boyfriend was having sex and I was on top and I told him to lift and his penis went in me hard and hit something in my vaginal and I was hurting badly until the next day it was hurting when I walked & I’m scared to have sex now

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    • ay

      dear we are having the same problems that the way am always feeling too

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  6. Catherine

    Doctor pls am Catherine and am 20 years of age and had wanted to hv sex with my boyfriend but after our foreplay he tried inserting his hand in my vagina but i felt pains am virgin and does nt knw may be tht is my first time but now is paining me inside wht should i do plz help me.

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  7. Siphokuhle

    Hi Doc

    My vigina always swallon after sex i do not now why because it become very thick and it hurts too much
    Plz help Doc

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    • Racheal

      Am 23 yrs since i had sex it has always been painful since my partner had to force his penis to penetrate in to my vagina and after a short time when it penetrate i become dry and i wonder what happens or what is wrong with me please help

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  8. bo peep

    Hello

    I’m 16 years old and a virgin, and me and my boyfriend are trying to have sex but it really hurts for me. I’ve never been able to comfortably insert a tampon either, so I was worried about my first time initially. We tried it and it didn’t work out for me. It mainly just hurts where he’s trying to insert and I can tell it feels good under all the pain, but the pain is too much to keep going. Should we just get lots of lube and have him wear a condom? I’m really frustrated at myself because I know he wants it and I do too.

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  9. Sam*

    Hi all ive jst read all ur msgs an i hve the exact same pain during intercourse its vry sad to feel such pain in such an intamite time wen u are supose to relax an enjoy the moment wth the 1 u love…

    My experience al startd wth a vry vry bad bladder infection tht i had no clue abt as i handle pain vry wel – bt prior to the pain i cld hve sex in any position any angel an id b fine bt nrmal sensitive as i usualy am.. Bt 1nce i figured out abt my UTI an gth tht fixed an sorted by then i was stil dating my bf as i am nw 2yrs in he was a virgin bt i wasnt bt i had a clean bill of health to .. Bt going bck to the pain i tel u it gt so bad an reali uncomfortable i use to scream an cry an smetimes nt evn do those things bt huff an puff an almost hypoventilate an i also cldnt move an i cldnt do much either as i also cldnt evn talk or evn breath neither as the pain startd from inside my Vagina it also traveled almost like a icky milkshake periody feeling bt pain tht only grew stronger no matter wat i dd an al i cld do was b walkd to tge loo to sit on the loo… To thn hve my bf grab a face cloth an wet it wth warm water to hold over my lower abdomen an wait for either me to vom or hve a stool or urinate an funi enough nothing hppnd bt my almost fainting an excruciating pain an the nding to do both ends bt i finaly manged to wait b paitent an slowly the pain went away slowly droping til nothing.. I thn caught my breath an managed to pass gass an urunate wch helpd alot.. I then kept hvibg episodes til i was actly scared of hving sex wth my bf bt thnkfuly wth him being paitent an kind an careing we tryd an it cldnt cm right so i went to the gyno an she said al is in order an tht i jst hve bruzing deep inside due to my BAD UTI i recently gt rid off a few months back an tht i shold b paitent to an keep trying difrnt angels an so i went out an gt K.Y Gell for a lub as i was also experienceing bad sideeffects from the purfumed lubs tht i was also unaware of an so a few months go by an nw to this day i stil experience pain bt touch wood i find on a bad day wen its time to hve sex an i feel bloated like nothings gna fit inside me i usualy use a pillow under my bum an on my back or i try being ontop wch smetines helps as i cn control wer certain things go an evn thn its hard bt i hve found tht if im bent on my elbows an kneess wth my bum pushd out an my feet on my toes nxt to my mans legs tht are bent it helps an hang of alot as wel as the site thts sore is also the “knob” so to spk wch i find on my left so the min my man enters me he knws aim in slowly vry slowy an to ur right thn i warm up tht way an he dsnt go near the “knob” if he dse we stop an he repositions himself an me an i tel u i hve reali battled bt this has helpd me so wel.. Bt pls make sure tht if u do a position wer u feel like a icky shaky milky feeling of pain gna cm on for those who experience this stop imediatly an chnge postion an pls b calm an paitent wth eachother an keep trying till u find wat works for u. Bt yes ive also 1 last thing found tht if im ontop an i feel tht sensation i jst described i stop an i imediatly turn around an go slowly an ajst breath bt stil try hve sex an it worked 1nc an it went away so pls try. As im gna keep doing this until i find a hppy medium bt otherwise i hope this helps xxx

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  10. Kaley

    SO I lost my virginity but now it hurts to pee, before I lost it, it never did… is this normal?

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    • Lenni Doyel

      Sounds like a UTI (urinary tract infection). Super common after sex. You’ll likely need an antibiotic to get over it. FYI, if you pee right after sex, you’re less likely to get UTIs in the future. Peeing washes away bacteria that can get into your urinary tract during intercourse. In the short run, call your doctor to get the right meds.

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  11. Lauren

    Why do women and doctors (who should know better) try to figure out causes for painful sex while totally ignoring that most men in this country are missing a vital part of their penis? Of course it’s dry and uncomfortable with a calloused, dried out glans and without mobile skin on the penis. It’s basic anatomy, not rocket science.

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  12. Victoria

    Victoria is my name
    Doctor please I also feels pains when ever my husband’s penis enters me deeply….I don’t even have the desire to have sex with him….and am afraid I will loose my husband… Doctor please help me out because I don’t have money for hospital bill too

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  13. sandra

    im about to have sex after25 years im 69 years now will i have problems with dryness in the vagina

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    • Hi Sandra,

      We’re primarily a pediatric site used by parents and grandparents for their kids and grandkids health questions, but this is a very valid inquiry.

      It’s very likely you will have dryness and shrinkage. I don’t know if any of our readers have suggestions, but it would be great if folks could chime in …

      Best of luck!
      @MsGreene
      Note: I am the co-founder of DrGreene.com, but I am not Dr. Greene and I am not a doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies.

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  14. Tara

    VuVa Magnetic Vaginal dilators work very well for painful sex. Saved my sex life with my husband because I have Vulvodynia.

    Tara Langdale

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    • Cynthia Sligar

      I have pain during intercourse. The pain is always in the same spot and feels like I was rubbed raw. It goes away within 24 hours. It doesn’t matter what position we are in. We use plenty of lub and I always have an orgasim before intercourse. Our intercourse is always deep and rough with my legs in the air. But that does not seem to be the problem. It always hurts in the same spot. After intercourse a cold wash cloth on it always make it feel better but starts hurting again when I remove the washcloth. My husband’s penis is curved to one side. Could this be the problem? Could it be rubbing in the wrong spot?

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  15. loveth

    loveth

    I start feeling pains once his penis touches my vaginal,could it be that am scared or because am still a virgin, even after the foreplay I still don’t get free with him or it is because I don’t love him please I need help,I don’t want This to affect me in future

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  16. Aisha

    Hello,Doctor.
    Doctor i would like to ask you that though i am 19 years old and when i have sex with my husband it hurts a little then i become comfortable.But as soon as i stand up it hurts so badly that sometimes i get collapsed on the floor and sometimes i faint also..Doctor please help.

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  17. Yohana

    I get pain when me and my boyfriend are having sex i dont know why didnt happen before feels like vagina is swollen from inside or something cause it hurts and not pleasant in any position we do. I dont know why it hurts only when having sex.

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  18. AFSHAN

    Hi DOCTOR,
    My self AFSHAN i m 16 years old n i have been experiencing itching and discharge is thick and white like curd it is almost from 1 year and always i get pain in my lower left side of my stomach and also i get pelvic pain during my periods at that time my condition vill b too bad .and i had chech up with doctor who is gynecologic she said to take a scanning then I had a scanning in that my report had come like I m having an infection in my utters and She said because of this it pains and she gave me a tables (DOXY-1 L-DR FORTE) for 15 days…then i had fallen in love with my friend n he is 21 years and we meet each other twice a weak i dnt feel comfortable when he is with me we both have never cross our limits we both just do smooch and I feel shy because of the discharge of white .and also he had never forced me to do sex e.t.c…. due to this I will not b able to do sex n other things and we actually doesn’t do this because he know that those things hurt me he is already aware of my problems …… And my growth is not good I m so short and my boyfriend is tall .And I exactly doesn’t understand what is really wrong with me ……so please can u help me out doctor from this problems then I will be so thankful to u and I will be proud to seek help from you……

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    • Jamie

      If you are going through this much discomfort and are experiencing discharge you need to be visiting your doctor immediately and not be asking questions on a blog. I know that talking to another person face to face can be uncomfortable but this is your body were talking about and a doctor is a professional. You don’t have to be ashamed or worry about others finding out what you discussed. Ignoring the problem will for sure only lead to further complications and you could end up hospitalized. Then everyone will for sure want to know what happened.

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  19. nehA

    I get a pain in my lower right side during intercourse. Some times I have during certain positions and other times I don’t. It pretty much goes away after he pulls out. It’s been happening a lot more during some positions that we both like a lot. We try to switch it up. It’s not always deep penetration either. I’m not bleeding. Not on period. Same partner for a long time. ???

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    • nehA,

      Sounds like it’s time for an exam by a Gyn. I won’t guess about what it is (I’m not a doctor), but I bet there’s something going on that is physical and “fixable”.

      I hope that helps.
      Best, @MsGreene
      Note: I am the co-founder of DrGreene.com, but I am not Dr. Greene and I am not a doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies.

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  20. Madi

    Hi my name is Madi and I’m 18 and have been have sex for over 3 years with my boyfriend he was my first and I have never been able to enjoy sex. It has always hurt and felt very uncomfortable and I have no idea why. It’s very annoying and I’m at the point I just don’t want to do it. I’m only 18 and feel like I will never enjoy or want to do it. I just want to know why this is happening

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  21. Holly

    I’m 16 and I have been with my boyfriend for a year and half…We only really have sex on the weekend about twice a day due to him working. On the 15th of December I got a operation down below to remove a skin tag ( I had a septate hymen) anywho, sex is still rlly painful, we gave it around a month before having sex again after my operation and it just so painful when he enters me. Is this normal? How can I reduce the pain?

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    • Hi Holly,
      Thanks for writing in! It makes sense that an operation would make sex painful for a while. Have you told your doctor, and did you get any recommendations for how long it will take to recover?
      Hope that helps!
      Alexandra (caring helper at drgreene.com, not a doctor)

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      • Holly

        Hi Alexandra, and my doctor said not to have sex for about a month just incase i injur myself but she said it would only take around 2-3 weeks to heal and all would be good! I did go for a check up and she said it looked great, healing perfectly etc. I am really sad that I am hurting so much as I know it’s not meant to

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    • Jamie

      Having sex at the age of 15 was more then likely a traumatic experiecnce as you were way too young mentally and physically to be having sex. It maybe that having sex at this age has scarred you as he made you feel guilty for not doing it with him and you were pressured into something that you were not ready to do. Just because your 18 now the pressure that was put on you still holds in your mind and your body is rejecting it. Moving on and starting another relationship with another man may be all it takes. For as long as you stay with this person the guilt feeling will be in the back of your mind and never go away.

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  22. ellie

    I’m 17 and have had sex maybe 6-8 times now? Spread out over let’s say 8 months. Everytime I have sex, the pain while he is going in is so bad. I have to take it really slow until it’s all the way in, then go in and out a few times really slowly and then the pain eventually goes away. If I happen to be tensing I will relax my muscles and it still hurts. Why is it so painful at the start? I know for sure that it’s not my hymen and I really doubt that it’s a lubrication issue either. I’ve been on top and underneath and it feels the same either way. It’s getting annoying! Anyone know what’s going on? As I said the pain goes away after a couple of minutes and then I’m able to have sex so I’m not sure what it could be.

    It’s not that big of a deal considering that the pain goes away so I don’t mind too much I just want to know if anyone knows why it happens, but it’s still painful enough to cause me to tear up a little and make ugly faces and ugly sounds.

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    • Paris

      Omggg this happens to me too but I’ve had sex a lot of times with my boyfriend over the past year, but when we first started it didn’t hurt , but now it does. It only hurts when he inserts it and then when it’s all the way in it stops and I can enjoy it. I’m just wondering why is it happening now ? But it’s not that bad I just wanna know why it started happening.

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  23. Hailey

    I’m a virgin, 18 years old, and my boyfriend and I are wanting to have sex. We tried the other night, but he couldn’t even get the tip in because it hurt me so bad. Brought me to tears, even. Every time we attempted to get it in, it felt like an intense Indian burn around my vagina (the hole). Lubrication wasn’t a problem because I was very wet and aroused and he was using a lubricated condom…I’ve never been to a Gyno, but seeing as my period pains are excruciating and cause me to vomit every month because of the pain (same with my mom), my mother thinks I have Endometriosis. I am aware that having endometriosis can cause pain during sex, but if I don’t have endometriosis, what else could I or my boyfriend do to help penetration to be less painful?

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    • Hi Hailey,
      Thanks so much for writing in! I had a similar experience around your age, and what ended up helping me was seeing a gynecologist and a naturopath, to figure out what was causing the pain. If it’s not endometriosis, you might also want to ask about vulvodynia – http://www.nva.org/what-is-vulvodynia/
      I know how painful and frustrating it can all be, so hang in there!
      Hope that helps!
      Alexandra (caring helper at drgreene.com, not a doctor)

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    • emily johnson

      Hi am 18yrs old i was a virgin bit was raped at d age of 7to 8,we went to d doctor but he said i am still a virgin becos d tin didnt penetrate tru,nw hav been tryin to sleep wit my boyfriend but anytim d tries to do it i feel pains all over even wen he applies d lubricator it still hurt nd it doesnt go in only half way ,nd i cry tru out wat should be dn or wat should i do

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    • Raj

      First better not to try vaginal sex until you are comfortable. Spend maximum time with foreplay specially in your heat time and you both use your hands and tongue stimulating each others. Once you get aroused tell your bf to play your down with fingers and tongue. When he is playing your clitory and breast nipples, he should use his one finger and try to insert into the hole slightly. In this way he will break your tight hymen without pain. Once he entered 1,2 inches (only one finger) he should stimulate your G spot with a circle motion. This will increase your pleasure and cause hip motion up and down while your partner should try to insert 2 then 3 fingers into the orifice. You won’t feel pain at this plateau and once he entered 3 fingers and do motion back and forth for few minutes and now it is the time to enter his penis. Try this way and hope this will work. Good luck.

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  24. Allie

    I’m 13 I lost it to my boyfriend why do it hurt

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    • juliet

      i am 16 i was disvirgined last year december 31st by my boyfriend i was not bleeding then….i had sex again i wasn’t bleeding then i had it again without condom the third time without condom den i bled…nd since den i have been havin pains if i want 2 urinate…am scared

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  25. Lauren

    I am 24 and I lost my virginity about 11 months ago. Ever since the first time sex has been painful for me. It hurts badly when his penis goes inside me and feels like its the first time every time, almost like it is going through a barrier. The pain eases slightly when his been inside me for a few minutes but its never truly comfortable or enjoyable and also when he goes in deep it hurts and feels almost like he is pressing hard into my bladder. Its starting to really get to us both as I want to be able to enjoy sex without pain or discomfort.

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    • Sethu

      Laureen i’m just glad i’m not the only one.I just hope it’s normal because i also have the same problem.

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      • Megan

        I had this problem and it turned out that I had cysts inside of my ovaries. You should really get it checked out because your ovaries could burst or you could get endometriosis which both can cause reproductive problems and extreme pain.

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        • Jaz

          Omg I’m having the same problem she has. I’m 24 and everything. How did they treat the cysts?

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          • Megan

            They do 2 small incisions like literally only a centimeter long, on each side of your lower stomach where your ovaries are located. They then burn them off of your ovaries. It’s a very simple surgery and will save you from a lot of pain and fertility problems in the future. Go to your gynecologist and tell him about the pain you are feeling. He will do a vaginal ultrasound and see if anything abnormal is going on up there. Good luck! Honestly it’s the best thing I ever did. Things that I thought we’re normal about myself turned out to be because of lack of hormones which cause the cysts.

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  26. Jennifer

    I am 14 years old and I lost my virginity to someone who wasn’t a vigrin.We’ve had sex twice n it has hurt a lot since the very beggining he puts it in. After he finishes I bleed a lot and now there’s always a white odorly substance in my underwear n it has been 3 months at least since we had sex. What does that mean? I thought to think that it was normal for sex to hurt?but is it? Both times I wasn’t really turned on and he said I was very tight n it was without a condom in both occasions but it was safe. I just wanna know if this is normal? Can u help me ?

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    • Twila

      Hi there. Try using lubricant or make some more time for foreplay. Being nicely turned on and wet will make it hurt less or not at all. Pain during sex is not a normal feeling and should be monitored. Bleeding after sex could just mean that he was either too rough or too fast and tore something. You are really young for this but maybe take a pregnancy test if your symptoms dont go away. Good luck!

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  27. Shawna

    I’m fifteen, and when me and my Boy friend have sex, it hurts when he puts it in, we try everything to stop it from hurting but it still hurts?! Does anyone know what it could be😴😢

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  28. Mary

    I have a sore thoart and it just wont go away but i keep getting bruses and they seem to never fade but sometimes i dont even know how i get them but sex is the worse. If i have sex its been painful the last 6months which makes it come to a complete stop

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  29. Katie

    I had sex with my boyfriend and it just now started to hurt and i habe to go to the bathroom right after and its do painful to go even if i go before we do it i still have to go . what is happening doctor

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    • Katie,

      You may have a bladder infection. If so, you will need to see a doctor who can provide antibiotics for you. Even if it isn’t a bladder infection, it’s smart to see a doctor. She should be able to help you so this doesn’t keep happening.

      Best, @MsGreene
      Note: I am the co-founder of DrGreene.com, but I am not Dr. Greene and I am not a doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies.

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  30. Smokey

    Embarrassing to say this, but I recently got with a new guy. Before him, sex with my ex never hurt in this one certain position. Now, when my new bf puts my legs on his shoulders and goes deep I have the worst pain ever! It’s just in that position it hurts me, I didn’t have this problem before. Is this even normal, I’m a little concerned about it. Him and my ex are the same size down there, so, I know it’s not a difference in size or anything . Should I see a doctor, will it ever ease up?

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  31. Zainabu

    Hi my name is Zainabu, I was raped and ever since then sex has been really discomforting for me. I’ve been having sex with my boyfriend and each time we do I feel discomfort, sometimes when he enters me I push him back coz it’s painful. We talked about this and I ended up telling him about the rape incident in hope’s that things would change, but I still feel the pain. I normally have abdominal pain, lower back aches, it feel nauseous and recently I was treated for a UTI, which impact not sure why I had to be treated. I’ve been experiencing itching but not all the time and my discharge is thick and white. All these symptoms I’ve had way before I even decided to have sex except for the itching and the discharge. I’m worried because I really want to enjoy making love with my man but sometimes it’s difficult. If it doesn’t hurt when he enters me, if hurts during penetration then it stops then the mild discomfort comes again, and sometimes it’s after sex. We tried having sex without using a condom and it only hurt when he entered me and slightly hurt after the sex. So what exactly is wrong with me

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    • Megan

      I had the same problems! Go to a dr. You could have polycystic ovarian syndrome like I do. They will give you medicine and all of those things will stop happening! Good luck, I’ve been there and done that. Going to a gynecologist was the best decision I ever made!

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  32. zainab

    Hi Dr.
    I’m a virgin. I’ve tried having sex with my boyfriend more than twice and it has always been really painful. It’s always hard for him to penetrate I mean go deep. So he always has to be removing immediately cos I’m always complaining about the pain. I want to know if I have a problem medically or that’s how it’s meant to be.

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    • Zainab,

      There is a string of comments below to “Cam Uribe” that addresses your circumstance. I suggest you read that for your answer and some encouragement.

      Best,
      Co-founder & Executive Producer DrGreene.com, Mom
      Note: I answer a lot of questions on DrGreene.com, I am the co-founder of DrGreene.com, Dr. Greene’s business partner, but I am a not doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies.

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  33. Mary Margaret

    Hi,

    I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now and at the start sex was great – a little sore as i was getting used to him which i could handle but now i feel ever time we have sex i am getting tighter and tighter… The pain tends to wear off after a few minutes but i am starting to worry there could be more to it, could you shead any light on the problem?

    Thanks

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  34. Tiffany Russell

    I am 23, and have had painful sex since the very first time. I have now been with my husband for 5 years and have a three year old son(c-section). I have never climaxed during sex. I am depressed and can’t stand the fact I have never enjoyed this simple pleasure. I love my husband he is very kind to only ask of me to have intercourse when I lie enough to convince him i am not in pain. The only thing I know of is that I have cyst often and once IN my ovary. I have been bent over in pain so many times almost passing out rushed to the ER with the answer that there is cyst of nothing wrong with me. PLEASE HELP ME!

    Added:
    • Tiffany Russell

      I forgot to add how this pain occurs. Always painful but upon deep thrusting it is every more painful and than I continue to stay in pain for an hour or two after ward then any sex for the next few days is totally unbearable, but if we don’t have any for a few days its painful but managable

      Added:
      • Megan

        I had the same problem and it was cysts in my ovaries. I got them removed and I still have the pain when he goes deep and after we have sex I have to go to my doctor again but when I had surgery they told me that if they kept coming back that it could turn into endometriosis. I would definitely get it checked out if I was with you though to be sure. Maybe a hormone based birth control would fix your problem as it did for me at least for a little while.

        Added:
    • Megan

      They shod be able to remove the cysts and then give you hormonal medicine so they do not come back. Cysts are very painful and can be dangerous! Your ovaries can literally burst! Go to a gynecologist and demand that they do something!

      Added:
  35. Emily

    I am 21 and recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend. The first few times we had sex it was excruciatingly painful. I probably didn’t have an orgasm until our 7th or 10th time. He’s very patient and gentle, but every time we have sex it hurts. Badly. It hurts when he first enters me and it is terribly painful deep within my pelvis. It feels like he’s hitting a wall inside me. It’s very rare that I enjoy sex, no matter how slow and sweet it is. I usually just hope that he finishes so that we can stop. It throbs and makes me feel like I have to use the restroom. Sometimes when he first enters its so unbearable he has to immediately pull out and give me a minute to recover. I hate that I can’t just enjoy sex and I’m worried it will damage our relationship. Please help me.

    Added:
  36. Sonaya

    When i have sex with my boy friend first time when we intimate a day i do not feel pain but when he takes off his penis and again connects it in same time it cannot enter and i fell more pain….help me why

    Added:
  37. Cam Uribe

    my partner and i tried to lose virginity today (it’s the first time of both) and when he tried to go inside me i felt pain, it hurt badly, i inmediately knew there was something abnormal going on, so i told him to stop, we tried arousing, didn’t work, after three other tries we gave up, i told him i would get informed about it because it didn’t seem normal, i was scared because i thought that maybe i couldn’t be able to have sex, but i decided that it could also be many other things, he coulnd’t get in because it hurt too bad, what can i do?
    please help me!

    Added:
    • Cam,

      It would be wise to see your doctor. She will do a physical exam and be able to help you determine what can be done.

      Best,
      @MsGreene

      Added:
    • Jess

      First time sex is always painful as the males penis is breaking the hymen (The hymen is a membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening.) once broken you lose your virginity and onwards will start feeling good ;)

      Added:
    • Facts.com

      Hello it’s completely normal for it to hurt the first time you lose your virginity. It hurts him because your so tight. I would suggest some lube and you have to relax. It will hurt but once he gets all the way in you will feel pleasure as well as him .

      Added:
    • Katie

      Sex always hurts the first time until it is entered completely. It is natural and normal. Just go slow & make sure both of you are ready. Don’t rush it, or push eachother to do it.

      Added:
    • Marisol

      Hi Cam! When You loose your
      Virginity it hurst & a lot. So I believe that’s what your talking about. When I lost my virginity we also tried acouple times what worked best for me was that instead of
      Him being on the top I was on the top. That way I could go little by little. It took a while and it didn’t hurt that much hope it helps and have safe sex! ☺️

      Added:
  38. Vanessa

    Stinging sensation during sex and fingering!! What could this be??

    So my boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years now and the problem is that when he sticks either his fingers or penis inside me and takes them out and back in after a while my vagina begins to sting. so we can only have pleasurable sex in one position and he cannot take his penis out and put it back in otherwise it hurts me. we always use protection and I don’t have a problem getting aroused it wet. what could be the problem? could I be allergic to the condoms? I’m not sure if that’s a thing but I can’t think of anything else.

    Added:
    • It is possible to be allergic to condoms. It would be wise to see a Gynecologist for a physical exam and discussion.

      You shouldn’t have to go through this.

      @MsGreene

      Added:
      • Amber

        I just feel scratched or cut after words! Only recently! Never had this issue before! But were also noticing its harder for him to get in

        Added:
  39. P.C.

    I am 19 and I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years now and most times when we have sex I am in pain or I feel like I need to use the restroom.. I sorta feel like it’s because of how deep his penis goes in I mean sometimes if I have my hand by my stomach I can literally feel his penis right there moving… I tell him I feel we need to just calm down on having sex because we do have sex often but I mean. We’re human we want to be able to have sexual relations without any interruptions but it sucks when I feel the way I feel because it makes me just not in the mood.. what is wrong with me and what can I do?

    Added:
  40. Jenifer Moreno

    Hi Dr, I’m 22 years old, me and my husband had unprotected sex more than one time about 3 weeks ago. Recently I’ve felt some discomfort while we are having intercourse, and some bladder or cervix pain that makes it hard for me to stand up. I’ve been reading articles it says it can be a ectopic pregnacy or an infection, but prefer a professional point of view?

    Added:
    • If there is any chance it could be an ectopic pregnancy, you should see your doctor immediately.

      Added:
  41. Shashank

    Sir
    I am a 16 years boy and I did sex and masrurbisation many times and no. Of times …….! Did it will cause me any disease or any thing and I cannot control it what is the reason and how can I stop it early?

    Added:
  42. Alex

    Hello Doctor. I am 21 years old. I have been having sex with my boyfriend for about 2 years now and it has never hurt. Just recently,For the past 5 months now, my vagina begins to hurt when my boyfriends penis begins to enter my vagina and this has never happened ever. I am always wet and never dry. Even when we try lubricant , it stills feel the same. He feels that I’m lying and that it is an excuse to not have sex but it is the truth. Can you please tell me why this is happening to me ?

    Thank you

    Added:
  43. SR

    Hi, I am so glad to have come across your page and also having got some assurance from the comments here, that so many people face this problem. I am 25 and I dread sex because it hurts and then I end up stopping it right then and disappointing my boyfriend.

    I have tried having sex since I was 19 but always stopped at penetration attempt because it hurt so much. Alcohol never helped, lubricants (at least the ones I used) made no difference. Increasing the foreplay did not help either because inside my mind I am always dreading that future moment when it will start hurting.

    At 21, I finally succeeded in having sex with my boyfriend and well, I just felt nothing. At least, I did not feel pain – but I was half asleep at that time. Except that and another time when I met my boyfriend after 6 months and so was very excited, sex always hurt me. I feel most pain at penetration and also lesser pain when the penis seems to be hitting some part inside me, it also makes me want to puke because of the pressure. I almost always burst into tears. Nevertheless, I try it again after few weeks because I wonder whether practicing can reduce the pain? Also, I have often wondered if something is wrong with the shape/dimensions of his penis. I have searched for answers since so many years and found none. Please help me!

    Added:
    • Dear SR,

      It sounds like you may benefit from a great physical exam from a caring, sensitive ObGyn. There may be some medical help for you — other than saying “use more lubrication”.

      I know of women who’ve had a similar problem and have been able, with help, to overcome it.

      Hope that helps,
      @MsGreene

      Added:
  44. Anonymous

    Hey I’m 16 and me and my bf have been together for almost 6 months now. Tonight we tried to have sex for the first time both of us virgins but when he put it in me it hurt really bad he didn’t go all the way in I don’t even think it was enough to break my hymen does that still mean we lost our virginity?

    Added:
  45. Jamie

    I’m 15 years old and when me and my boyfriend have sex sometimes it hurts other times it don’t but when we are done with sex my stomach starts to have bad pain right where my bladder is I don’t have any disease… When he goes far up inside me it hurts just a little do you know what may cause this pain ….

    Added:
  46. Analove

    I’m 21 years old and I had a c section. I’m sexually active And when my boyfriend goes deep or fast I feel an abdominal pain. But why? I have no infections or anything.

    Added:
  47. Danielle

    hi my name is Danielle and my boyfriend have been havinf sex for about 5 years w/ eaxh other, but recently it has been painful. And i mean like it feels when he strokes that there is something on his penis and it is very tight as if i it was a few times aftercthe first time when we lost our virginities to each other he loves that i’m tighter not that i ever wasn’t before…PLEASE HELP ME!!!

    Added:
  48. Amanda

    Hello,
    I’ve been married to my husband for over 6 years now. I’m 26 years old and sex has always hurt. It hurts going in, it hurts during the deed (like burning and intense bruising) and it hurts after like I got punched in the lady bits by a bag of bricks. It was awful before having a child and now that I’ve given birth (6 months ago) I have even worse pain! I can barely get through a few minutes before having to stop. I hate this. I’m so young and want to be sexually active with my hubby. He’s so incredibly attractive I just want to jump his bones 24/7. I’m such a sexual person in every way but as soon as any actual penetration happens it’s like hellfire. I’ve brought this up to my doctor so many times but I keep getting “make sure you get enough foreplay” and “use lube”. I do that and nothing helps. Even fingers and toys hurt. :( :( Both my hubby and I were tested and we are clean btw. Please help!

    Added:
  49. sierra

    Hi my name is Sierra me and my husband have had sex twice and the last few times it has hurt so bad when he pinitrates all the way and thats the only time I havent always had this it just started we are also trying to conceive baby number 2 so I’m getting scared something could be wrong that will prevent this from happening

    Added:
  50. CS

    I am 60yrs. old when my boyfriend and I have sex it hurts when goes in deeper. now I haven’t had sex in years. don’t know if this is the problem or if he is to big for me. its frustrating , I fell like a virgin. please help!

    Added:
    • After menopause, some women experience shrinkage and dryness. It’s wise to discuss this with you Gyn. She will have several tools you can use to help stretch and lubricate your vagina, which can make it easier and more pleasant for both partners.

      Hope that helps,
      @MsGreene

      Added:
    • laura

      Hello,
      haven’t you reach Menopause?
      that is the reason which it hurt you, more so, because you are too dry.

      Added:
  51. TR

    I had sex with my bf but I didn’t bleed so I want to know whether I’m still a virgin or not..please help.

    Added:
    • Natalie

      don’t worry, I didn’t bleed either. the whole thing about bleeding is the hymen breaking but this is not an accurate representation of someone’s virginity. You may not have even had one to begin with (which is normal). So yes, you lost your virginity! I hope you felt comfortable the first time.

      Added:
  52. unknown

    Every time i have sex it hurts me, I’ve been tested for stuff and I’m clean ! When he enters me it burns then it goes away after a couple minutes. Sometimes i start bleeding and it has nothing to do with lubrication, at first i do feel aroused and lubrication is a lot ( too much i would say ) then when he’s trying to enter the arousal disappears and i feel like i cannot relax at all . It’s really weird and uncomfortable, i feel like i cannot do much during sex except stand the discomfort until he finishes . I don’t know what to do.

    Added:
  53. amy

    Hi am married for three years and am having a baby and still it’s painful when am having sex it’s very hard to bare the pain and am so scared to face the moment please help

    Added:
  54. Karina

    Two weeks ago i had sex with my boyfriend and when he was putting it in it kind of hurt probably it was cause I had months without having sex so when he was penetrating me slowly i didnt hurt everything was going ok until he started doing it fast and he put it in all the way and my lower abdomen was hurting a lot like if it was hitting something but it did hurt a lot i want to know why it cause me a lot of país

    Added:
    • Hi Karina,

      As Dr. Greene says in the article, sex should not hurt. When it does, it’s wise to be checked by a doctor. She will do a physical exam to make sure there are no internal problems.

      Hope that helps,
      @MsGreene

      Added:
    • nicole

      Pretty much have the same problem. It never hurts when he first puts it in but if he goes all the way in it hurts. usually not in the missionary position though. usually only in doggy or anything where i am on my hands and knees. sometimes is painful when i am on top but not always. really sucks. i have had sex with a few different guys all different sizes and it happens with all of them… and they all ask about “what they are hitting” like they can feel something inside of me….

      Added:
      • Kla

        I had the same situation, exactly that is the feeling I got. But it only happened to me once with a guy with a rather long than big penis. Nothing hurted outside, everything was fine until he went deeper… I dont know why but I had to stop it because he couldnt even put the entire penis inside, and I just couldnt do it that way. Does this mean I have a problem or the penis was simply way too big for me?

        Added:
  55. Claire

    I am 16 years old and I’ve been recently trying to have sex with my boyfriend. Sexual pleasure always occurs however, everytime he tries to put it in, the pain makes my legs shake and sometimes I just freeze because I feel like a lot of blood will go everywhere or something will tear, causing me more pain. Due to this problem which I experience, there hasn’t really been a time where his penis hasn’t fully gone in and not even half way. What can I do to reduce this pain or is it something I just have to go through?

    Added:
  56. Tori

    I am 17 and Ive had sex with my boyfriend before. But tonight when we went to do it, started out amazing then he went to go deeper and I noticed it started to hurt. But it didn’t hurt to the point of that I couldn’t continue. So I didn’t say anything to him, but then the small pain turned into sharp shooting pain, then I had to tell him. We continued but couldn’t after a few of telling him. Its been almost an hour since we stopped and it hurts to walk and to move. But it also hurts to sit. And the pain went all the way from my vagina to the middle of my stomach, and still is.

    Added:
    • Sounds like it would be smart for you to get a physical exam from a qualified physician. I know that may not be easy to do, but you need to make sure you’re okay. After a physical exam, the doctor should be able to give you more specific suggestions.

      Best,
      @MsGreene

      Added:
  57. Kat

    Hi, I’m 18 years old and I’ve recently had sex and well what I want to know is why does it hurt when it’s in and when we are done? Then after a few minutes it goes away and I don’t feel no pain. Should I be worried?

    Added:
  58. Amy

    Hi, I’m 19 years old and recently when having inter course with my partner it hurts in my tummy, no where else just my tummy around the bottom, it actually feels like my partners penis is in my stomach. Is this normal? Or should I go to my local gp? It’s starting to worry me now

    Added:
    • Sounds like it would be good to have a doctor do a physical exam. It’s probably fine, but better safe than sorry.

      @MsGreene

      Added:
      • Swara

        Hey I m 16 yr old nd m nd my bf have sex once a day in a week but 3-4 times on that day when he enters his penis deep inside the vagina my stomach pains plz help m

        Added:
  59. Brooke

    Hi Dr. Greene.

    I am 23 and just had sex for the first time a few days ago. I understand that it is going to be painful at first but it has been 3 times now and the pain is only getting worse. Lubrication isn’t the problem, I’m aroused and plenty wet. But it feels like someone is ripping me apart and stabbing deep inside me. No matter how gentle my partner is the pain is almost unbearable. Is this normal?

    Added:
    • Hi Brooke,

      This sounds like you need to see a GYN and have a physical exam. I’d make an appointment as soon as you can and probably avoid having sex again until after your appointment.

      It’s probably nothing, but sex should not hurt. The way you are describing it, is not going to make for a good long term relationship.

      Hope that helps,
      @MsGreene

      Added:
  60. Vaughan

    Hi Doctor,
    Let me start by saying I’ve always considered myself below average when it comes to endowment. My girlfriend is very petite and the most beautiful person I have ever met. However, when we have sex in the deepest penetrating positions she complains of discomfort like a bloating sensation as the head of my penis pushes against her cervix. The sex is fantastic otherwise. Is there anything can be done so we can enjoy all positions, or do I just need to hold back?

    Added:
  61. Anastasia

    Hi Doctor. Me and my boyfriend don’t have sex a lot because of our work schedules. However, when we do it hurts SO much. He isn’t my first but he was the person I had sex with for the second time. The first was just whatever, it happened and ended. Also, I don’t get wet at all. And even after we have sex, finish, then start again a few minutes later, it hurts all over again. And in every position. Confused, please help.

    Added:
  62. noname

    Hi. I’m an 19 years old girI and I felt so much pain even it’s my 4th time having sex. Also I can’t orgasm or feel anything good. Please help me.

    Added:
    • A person.

      Hello, it use to be that way for me to I shouldn’t orgasm and it hurt. Start slow, try riding him and going slow to fast. Don’t rush yourselves, it’s easier when you go slower then work your way up.

      Added:
  63. Ashley Rine

    Hi doctor I’m 19 and I’m having a lot of problems after the depo shot. Only had 3 shots I’ve been off of it for almost2 years ever since that I have to use lubricant everytime. When he goes deep I get stabbing pain on lower belly and I get yeast infections like every other week. I never got yeast infections and now I’m always getting one! And after sex the entering of my vagina is sore on the sides? So much has been going on I’ve went to my gyno numerous times over these 2 years and she just tells me everything is fine that’s its normal vaginas get irritated easy. And i can tell she’s getting annoyed with me calling constantly but I’m tired of pain and yeast infections!! I’m 19 I shouldn’t be having this. She refuses to admit the depo messed me up. I just now started to get periods which are very weird and just keep misscaraging. Do you know what could be going on? Thankyou

    Added:
  64. Kayla

    Hi Dr. Greene after my baby was born i have been having trouble when we have sex he says it hurts him it feels like something shape is cutting him n when we finish his skin has peeled it takes him like 2 weeks for it too heal. Its so uncomfortable that I’m scared to even have sex anymore.

    Added:
    • Sounds like you need to see a Gyn and have a physical exam.

      Added:
  65. FAVIOLA

    HI I HAD SEX LAST NIGHT IN A NEW POSITION. I WAS LAYING DOWN FACE DOWN KIND OF SIDE WAYS. AND HE WAS ON TOP OF ME. EVERY TIME HE WENT IN TOO DEEP IT HURT REALLY BAD. AND AFTER WE WERE FINISHED I STAYED THERE LAYING DOWN AND WHEN I TRIED TO MOVE I COULDN’T. IT HURT SO MUCH SO I MOVED SLOWLY SLOWLY TO TURN AROUND. FINALLY I MANAGED TO STAND UP AND I WENT TO THE RESTROOM. AND I TRIED TO SIT DOWN ON THE TOILET TO PEE BUT IT WAS LIKE REALLY BAD PAIN OR CONTRACTIONS. I NOTICED I WAS SHAKY AND I WAS SWEATING AND MY STOMACH FELT HARD AND WEIRD. I BELIEVE IT WAS TOO MUCH PAIN I STARTED TO FEEL LIKE I WAS GOING TO FAINT. I GOT SCARED AND WENT TO LAY DOWN BESIDES HIM. AND SLOWLY IT WENT AWAY. PLEASE HELP !!!!

    Added:
    • Hi Faviola,

      This may not be an issue, but it sounds like you should get a physical exam to make sure everything is okay. Even if you feel better now, it would be wise to be checked before having sex again.

      Sorry you’re going through this!
      @MsGreene

      Added:
  66. Des

    I’ve had unprotected sex with my husband for a year now and just recently it start to hurt everytime we would have sex at first but weade sure I was really wet before he came into me and then one day I went pee and.it hurt really bad and I kept having to pee every 10 min and only a little came.out then my vigina would hurt really had.after.I was done peeing and I started to notice bleeding and blood in my underwear but I know it’s not my period and we tried sex one more time and it hurt so we went slow and once we were.done and he pulled out there was blood everywhere (he already had poped my cheery 2 years ago) and it was thick and thin really red.almost like bright but orange. What is going on with me?

    Added:
    • Des,

      Your symptoms sound like a urinary tract infection (UTI). If so, it’s highly treatable, but you need a prescription for an antibiotic. It would be smart to see a doctor as soon as possible.

      Hope this helps,
      @MsGreene
      Co-founder & Executive Producer, DrGreene.com (NOT a doctor)

      Added:
  67. Hope

    Hi there I just tried having sex with my boyfriend but I couldn’t all I felt was so much pain and when I got up I was bleeding a lot. It stopped bleeding a lot after I sat on the toilet and wiped myself down. I don’t know what to do though because he didn’t go in because of my pain. Can I actually have sex without bleeding a lot and not having a lot of pain? I am a virgin. Or was… I don’t know…

    Added:
    • Vontrece

      I don’t know to Much about it but I do know it hurt so much because you were a virgin, and its common for sex to hurt when ur a virgin. But it becomes more pleasurable the more you have sex, my first time having It i didn’t bleed because maybe I didn’t have a hymen in other words cherry It’s a slang term for “popping your cherry” breaking the hymen during sex, The hymen is a very thin layer of skin that is often stretched across the vaginal opening, but by the time a girl is old enough to have sex, she might not have a hymen at all in my case I guess.. But if your vagina continues to bleed during sex you should stop immediately and tell your mother or father if you’re not comfortable with telling them about it schedule yourself a doctors appointment, I’m assuming that you’re old enough to schedule your own appointment since you’re having sex and all but if it continues it might be something more serious so don’t be a fool get yourself checked out it’s very important for us women/young women to keep our body healthy.

      Added:
  68. Sarah

    For some reason every time my boyfriend and I have sex at first, when he puts it in, it is so painful until his the entire way in and the pain goes away. After sex I’m left with a very tender sore spot near the vagina opening, which last for a day or two. It doesn’t matter how wet or how much lubricant we use it always hurts. I haven’t had this problem with former partners.

    Added:
  69. Melody

    Hey there.. Well Im 16 and Ive had sexual intercourse throughout the last couple of years….. :/ Until recently I find it painful when my bf and I have sex.. Its all fine at first but about 15 minutes in, it feels like someone is stabbing me down there.. I feel bad because we cant have sex more than once every couple of weeks.. And when we do, he feels bad afterwards.. Whats wrong with me??

    Added:
  70. SH

    Sex has always been very painful for me. I bought plastic vaginal dilators thinking they would help but they are painful when moving around and if I try to sleep in them, they are too uncomfortable. Is there a particular type of dilator I can use that’s more comfortable?

    Added:
  71. Zahra

    Hi dear Dr,
    Im 30. It’s not possible for me and my boy friend to have sex often, may be once a month.
    So when we’re together he expects to have sex for 4 or 5 times. It doesn’t hurt for the 10 first minutes but after that i get a very bad pain in my vaginas in a way that i can’t stop crying.
    When he sees me crying he loses his intrest. It becomes too bothering.
    I want to be pleased and make him pleased too.
    Help me.

    Added:
  72. Jenny

    Just had sex painful mostly going in hurts little inside as well….pain for a little while after everything ok?

    Added:
  73. Lala

    Hi Doc! I am 25 years old. I just married 2 mon ths ago. Unfortunately I am still a virgin. Every time his penis came into my vagina, I thought it just pressed the hymen. I felt so hurt. It was painful though we already used water lubricant. So that every time when we did this, we stopped at the intercourse stage. I don’t think I could endure the pain. What should I do? I don’t wanna ruin my marriage. I am hopeless. Please help me!

    Added:
    • It would be wise to see your ObGyn and get a physical exam.

      I wish I had a more helpful tip, but this is really a time you should see your doctor.

      @MsGreene

      Added:
  74. angel

    Here recently my lower back (right side) has experienced slight pain when my boyfriend goes deep. This has never happened until now. I also just got my birth control removed, can that be a problem? Should i go see a doctor?

    Added:
    • It would be wise to see a doctor. It may be nothing, but getting it checked is the smart thing to do.

      @MsGreene

      Added:
  75. Katie

    I really need help!! Every time me an my boyfriend have sex it hurts really bad when he sticks it in at first an once he finally gets in it still hurts, and I feel like I’m really wet an I even check to see if I am to make sure!! it wasn’t like this until about 4 months ago an it still hurts, I just want this pain to go away I wanna be able to enjoy sex!! Please help me!!!

    Added:
    • Since this is a new symptom, it would be wise to have a check-up with pelvic exam from your doctor.

      Added:
    • Jenny

      I am the same way!
      First time having sex too!

      Added:
  76. Magerath

    I feel pain in some position during sex,something like he hit something inside

    Added:
  77. ran

    My wife and I when we have sex in deep penetration she sometimes stop because it hurts but when shes on top she like it very much.. just making her comfortable, and while on top she can adjust how long it should be inside.

    Added:
  78. jazz

    I’m 19 years old. I’ve had sex with the same person for the last year & a half we stopped for about 3 months and now when we have sex I get pains really bad in my vagina and stomach. I don’t understand why. I’ve been checked for STDs and uti and I don’t have any. What could the problem be? I don’t wanna lose him. Sex is really important in our relationship please help

    Added:
    • Lorrain

      Hi Jazz,

      I am experiencing the same thing – were you able to get a possible answer to your question?

      Added:
      • jazz

        No I haven’t found an answer yet. We’ve been trying using more lube but its still not helping

        Added:
  79. Amy

    Hey I recently got married about a year ago he’s the only guy I’ve ever had sex with but lately it’s been so painful I’m 29 years old but when my husband try to go all the way in Goin in from the back it would be so painful like I can’t breathe pain.. it’s like my abdominal hurts so much. .please let me know I’m trying to get pregnant for a year and I think this might be the problem.

    Added:
  80. Becky

    Hi there,

    I’m in my early 20’s. I have been sexually active for roughly 8 years. But I have only had sex with two guys. My husband and I hardly ever have sex because it hurts so bad. Everytime he starts entering it feels like my vagina is beig torn apart. However we really want a baby so we have started to have sex more. It’s not enjoyable for us at all because I’m always in pain. Will this prevent us from having a baby? What can we do to make sex feel better for us both?

    Added:
    • Talk to your ObGyn. Ask her if it would help you to use vaginal dilators to help stretch your vagina. If not, what else might she recommend?

      Added:
  81. Jo

    I’ve never had sex but the other day my boyfriend and I started to get intimate and he tried to have sex with me. His penis didnt go inside me fully because I asked him to stop but it has been 2 days and my vagina is a bit sore now. Is this normal if he hasnt technically gone into me? I’m just worried something is wrong now?

    Added:
  82. nadia onika

    Hello dr. I had are problem when I was young. A guy forced me to have sex with him when I was 8. Today am 20, but I never enjoy sex with anyone. I just feel them hurting me, but sometime I get a feeling of doing it, but when I meet a man I lose my feelings. When he starts I feel only pain. What should I do??? Please help me.

    Added:
  83. JM

    I’m 15, I lost my virginity about 3 months ago, I believe the exact date was June 8th 2015, I haven’t had sex with my boyfriend since then until the 8th of September, so exactly 3 months later (a few days ago) and it still hurt, and we had sex today and it still hurts and he isn’t even getting all the way in, only about half way. I am kind of worried. Is there something wrong? And is there anything I can do about it?

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    • Cass

      Make sure you are using lubrication. I know its kind of gross but spit works if you don’t have any.

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    • RJ

      Yes there is something wrong and yes there is something you can do about it. First you are only 15, don’t throw your life away. You have plenty of years to gain experience and enjoy it when you learn responsibility. You can stop having sex. No more pain from sex. Your a kid, act like it while you still have a chance. God forbid you have a baby before you even have a job to take care of your self much less a fregging baby. Seriously, you can do other things besides having intercourse. Good luck to you.

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  84. shakyla Dixon

    I’m 25yrs old and my man nuts in me all the time i came on my period last month and now this month iam having pains out nowhere now and my stomach is hurting bab now so me and my man just had sex so could i be pregnant now i feel so sick please help me.

    Added:
    • Sounds like it’s time for a home pregnancy test.

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  85. Carmen leal

    Haven’t had sex for almost 18 months and when I did I started bleeding. Then I had sex with someone else and bled. This has never happened to me. Now when I go to restroom and clean myself I have a little blood.

    Added:
    • Sounds like it’s time to get a check-up.

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  86. Toni

    Hi, I am about to be 27 years old. I have three kids and been with the same partner for almost 7 years. I had all of my children vaginally with no problems at all even after I was healed did not have any problems. My husband and I used to be able to have sex all different ways and it was enjoyable without any complaints.

    Feel really bad about myself and feel like my marriage is on the border line of a divorce because for the last two years been experiencing a horrible pain. It started out to where when he would go deep in any position he would only be able to go in so much. Even going in so much I felt really irritated, but it was tolerable. We have not had good sex for almost two years. I have been to the doctor, taken tests — everything comes back negative. I have no odor or itchiness. Some times it is better than others. I have tried everything, started taking cranberry pills daily, we both use a soap that is all natural, use the best lubrication, even washing off more frequently. Some times I do have chalky white stuff that goes on his penis other times not at all.

    Really I just want him to be able to have sex like how we used to without experiencing any pain at all when he goes deep or not feel like I have to stop because I have to pee because he is hitting something that I feel like going to urinate. Please help me I don’t know how much more my marriage is going to hold up and it is really unfortunate because I know we really love one another, but our sex life in the past was a major plus for both of us.

    Added:
    • Jenn

      Everything you said is exactly what I’m going through now. Makes me cry knowing I can’t please my husband and this could lead to a divorce.

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    • mrs g

      Have you found a solution yet?im going through this now with my hubby :(

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  87. justme

    My husband and I have been married for five years… Two kids.. Both born Csection… Sex is very painful… Our youngest is three. The deeper, the more it hurts… Its very aggravating for both of us.. Feels like he’s hitting something… Help.

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  88. opeyemi

    I am a 21yr old girl. I did virgin at the age of 20. Since then been feeling a lot of pain anytime I had sex with my boyfriend till date. Please what can cause it?

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  89. asuman

    my gal friend started having severe pain in her vagina when she was pregnant, it continued even after giving birth. we’ve had some herbal medication from our local herbalists and pain calmed down but now we simply cant have sex coz she feels pain whenever i try to enter. we need help

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  90. Thania

    Me and my boyfriend have been having sex since November and we had no problems from any angle. We’ve only had vaginal intercourse and we stopped having sex for like about 3 months and we started again. There was just one angle that hurt really bad when he bend me over or from behind we tried it like 5 times but it still hurts like I get a weird uncomfortable pain like to my stomach.

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  91. Wendy

    I’ve Been HavingbSex For About 3 Years And This Is The First Time Ive Ever Had A Real Bad Burning In My Pleasure Spot. Me && My Boyfriend Haven’t Had Sex In 3 Days Because Of The Pain I’ve Been Having.Its Been Going On For Only 4 Days And When I Pee I Pee Pinkish And My Pleasure Spot Starts To Burn To Where I Fel Like I Have To Pee Again && So I Try But It Hurts Me More…I’ve Read It Can Be Cancer But I Wanna Ask A Doctor Before I Start Thinking I Have Cancer…..What Can This Mean Or What Can I Do?…..I Can’t Really Do Anything Cuz My Pleasure Spot Starts To Hurt Me….Please Help Me.

    Added:
    • This sounds like a urinary tract infection (UTI). Time to see a doctor. If it is a UTI an antibiotic typically knocks it out pretty quickly.

      So avoid future UTIs, it’s wise to use the bathroom after intercourse to flush out any bacteria that might have entered during intercourse.

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    • Beth

      Sounds like a UTI to me.

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  92. Cassandra

    Hi, I am 20 I have a child who is almost three and I have had one sex partner in the past year but since November I have had sever pain when he goes deep. He and I have talked about it a lot. And he told me today that he missed going deep and he wants to make sure I am okay. So I am not sure. Talking about sex to a dr is very uncomfortable for me. Any suggestions on what could be the reson? And being dry that isn’t an issue. I also had the marena iud put in in December of last year as well and I just had another one out in because the first one came out and this time it’s staying in so far, but sex still hurts when he goes deep. I am thinking of asking for a triple swab? Or should I get a full std screaning done? He has tested negative for all std’s as of April 2015. Once again. And he and I both Don’t sleep around.

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    • Beth

      If you both don’t sleep around and are honest with each other. Then I shouldn’t worry about STD’s.

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  93. Sarah

    Me and my boyfriend want to have sex. He’s 17 and I am 16. We both are virgins. After reading some comments here it freaked me out whether it will hurt me. I talked with him about this. He said sex hurts the most for those who have abdominal pain during period. Is it true? I don’t have any pain during my period. I’m confused! Need your help!

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    • Princess Sweet Cheeks

      Your boyfriend has no idea what he’s talking about! You are young and need to remember that he is a boy, and a young inexperienced one at that. First time sex it’s almost always painful for the female the first time, because you are breaking your hymen! There are some lucky women who are born virtually hymenless, lucky gals they are! But everyone’s hymen is different, it’s an individual thing. So honestly none can really tell you what your first time will be like. Most likely there will be some pain and pressure ( nothing that big has ever been inserted yet) accompanied by some, depending on your body, or heavy bleeding, and the bleeding might happen for the first few times while your vagina adjust to its new friend! Well I hope I answered your question and helped. By the way I’m a 29 year old female living in las Vegas. Happy sex! ! !

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  94. tequila

    Dr I have had pain during sex for three years now my Dr. waves it off but lately it’s been worst please help and it’s not poor lubrication I’m 16

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  95. Shaunette

    Am 19 year old I start having sex January for the first time but after four month I start back having sex it hurt whenever my boyfriend n I having sex what can I do to reduce the pain

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    • tequila

      I’m 16 same problem

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  96. Bernice

    Am 24 and my boyfriend is 29 any time we have sex he uses saliva to lubricate his penis.I do not understand why he does that. Is it healthy? And why does he do that?

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  97. Celina

    Hey I’m 17 year’s old and me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time we had no lubricant so we used baby oil it didn’t hurt at all while we did it. But for some reason a couple of days went by and I needed to pee so I went nothing else on my body hurts except my pleasure spot on my vagina and when I go have a pee it burns so bad to the point where I feel like I should cry and it shortens my pee and maybe 20 mins or longer i have to pee again and its the same pain i just want it to go away but everything feels normal on my body except for that im freaking out and I’m scared I just need help asap

    Added:
    • It sounds like you Amy have a urinary tract infection. This is very common. It’s not a reason to freak out, but it is a good reason to see your doctor. Likely you will need a prescription.

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    • Cass

      You should never use baby oil

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  98. Abby

    I’ve been having sex for at least 1 year and a few months just recently around around February I had sex while I was on my period and idk but I think that ever since then I can not have sex because it hurts me, I can not tell if it’s bc I had sex while I was on my period or because I left a tampon in too long. Now it’s very frustrating, I can probably have sex at least once a week and I can not have sex two times a day or the day after because it hurts so much. Help me pleaseeeeeeeeeeee.

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  99. jenifer

    I had a pregnancy preventer. (Mirena) inserted and the past 2 months sexual intercourse has been very painful i have had the mirena nearly 2 years now but these past 2 months it has been unbearable i would try and have to stop due to stomach pains, feeling as though i was swelling around my vagina and on going throbbing sometimes. I would bleed after sex.
    I went to my doctor to seek advice i was given antibiotics as they thought it could have been an infection. But nothing no infection, they then insisted it had moved but was’t that either Any ideas???

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  100. jessica

    Why does it hurt every time my husband and i have sex? Well it actually only hurts when he’s about to go in. And yes, I do lubricate, but it still hurts. It seems like if it’s my first time we did it. We have a kid together so it’s not like it’s our first time because we have been together for years. Even after being done I kinda feel my vagina is a little swollen even though it’s not, but feels like it.

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  101. tara

    Okay so me and my boyfriend had sex this was are second time doing it we did it with a condom but it broke so we just kept on doing it! But lately ii been having pain down there like crazy pain ii walk and it hurts ii have to stay sitting down when ii can ii use the bathroom way more then ii use to and ii would pee but then it would just stop out of nowhere and ii felt like ii have to keeping doing it but nothing would come out ??????????? HELP ME

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    • Joe

      Sounds like a UTI urinary tract infection, I suffered the same symptoms

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    • quinn

      Go see a doctor. It’s probably just a urinary tract or yeast infection. Easy to get rid of with prescribed medication.

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    • Jessoca

      Same thing happened to me but the piece of condom got stuck in me and it came out but my insides have never felt right since and sex is real uncomfortable. I just want to feel normal again.

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  102. Kitkat

    I don’t know if this will help anyone but when I had sex and it hurt that was because I had a UTI I’m sure you would know if you had it. But just to be sure perhaps check for any infections. I had no idea what was causing the pain and till now in certain positions it hurts a lot to the point where I’m just waiting for him to finish. In another case I had an inflamed ovary. There is just so much that could be causing it.

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    • Joey

      How did you find out it was an inflamed ovary?

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  103. sara

    I just started having sex around 10 days ago and we have been doing it pretty close to everyday. But it hurts when he first puts it in. He goes slow and it stops so we speed up but I feel pressure inside and its uncomfortable. When he goes in it feels like its pulling everything with it inside even if its not dry and then when he pulls out it feels like a suction. Then when he goes in deep it feels like he is hitting something in there like my cervix or something idk. Sometimes is feels good but if he goes to fast or to much thrust it hurts and I don’t want it to hurt so we can have fun and go rough .. but It mainly hurts when we do missionary with him on top, but it doesn’t stop hurting, but when I’m on top it hurt a little but then goes away. We don’t have any lubricants but we use saliva on him and it goes in easy but kinda hurts, some days are worse than others. Then after sometimes it feels like I have been rubbed really bad even if is not dry down there. Is this going to continue or will is go away eventually ??

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  104. sharon matsemela

    Sharon Matsemela. I’m also hevin d same problem. It hurts a lot each nd every time we have sex. Is this becoz we are in LDR or I have a problem. Phela sex xud not hurt. I haven’t had sex in 3months now.

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  105. sheila mae

    Every time I’m having sex with my boyfriend I feel pain, but I don’t have cut. And I am also weat, but I’m curious why I feel pain??? Someone can you help me!!!! Please! I really need help. I don’t know what to do!!!

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  106. Kimberly

    Hi I’m 16 and when I first had sex it hurt a lot it felt like it tore, every time I have sex I bleed and it hurts what should I do?

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  107. marvin

    Since the doctor put a sling in my wife, it has gotten more an more painful for both of us. I can’t even get the head inserted, she makes frightening faces and almost cries. It feels like it is cutting in to my dick and it hurts for days. I need sexual intercourse pain free. Don’t know what to do.

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  108. roxanne kaye

    My pain started when I took Yasmine. It gave me chest pain so I stopped it. I took the pills for 2 years. I looked it up and it said it relines the lining in you vagina and since I stopped the pills it hurts so bad. I want to have sex, but I can’t take the pain. Before the pills I was sexually active a lot with one man, but I barely have sex once a week. What can I do?

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  109. angela

    I would like love life back it hurt when sex and 47 years old

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  110. liz

    I’ve only had this problem with this partner. I’ve been with him 2.5 years and problem started 6 months ago. We use plenty of lube and condoms. I’ve been to the doctors. They said deep internal vaginosis. I tried treatment. Nothing. They said try thrush. I did. Nothing. I just think maybe it’s going to hurt now. So I think about it and it puts me off. I try to relax but its hard when your worried.

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  111. poochie

    I am 19 and having the same problem you all are having. For some reason when my boyfriend sticks his penis in side of me I can feel pain, but once he starts stroking I feel nothing unless he’s ruff/pounding it. I have no idea what it is. It’s been like this ever since I started having sex. He doesn’t force it. We use lots of lubricant. It has to be extra wet, but still there’s pain when we first start, then I can’t feel anything. Never heard of it before and was to shy to ask about it.

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  112. jane

    When I have deep sex it really hurts as if the end of the penis is touching something, it has always been the same so I asked the doctors and she said my womb is probably low, is there anything I can do to stop it being painful apart from different positions?

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    • Macy

      I have the same issue! When my boyfriend and I have sex, it doesn’t hurt in the slightest until he goes deeper and then it feels like he’s poking my cervix or belly button. It almost makes me not want to because of the pain. I wish I knew exactly what it was and my treatment options

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  113. Rose

    I’m 23 years old and I’m sexually active, but every time I and my boyfriend have sex it hurts. Is there something really wrong with me? I wasn’t sexually abused, but why does it hurt?

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    • Fatima Siddiqui

      I am 23 yrs old and my boyfriend is 21 yrs old …..so while doing long time sex with my boyfriend I feel pain in my vagina when his penis enter in my anus in 3rd or 4th time during sex. So it might be any problem for us…..

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  114. Jennifer smith

    I’m 27 years old and I have 3 kids. Why does it hurt to have sex? I even got my tubes tied, but why dose it hurt to have sex? Please tell me. Thank you so much.

    Added:
    • Some time in delivery of babies the doctor takes a few “extra stitches” to tighten the opening to the vagina. This keeps the opening to the vagina from becoming too stretched out. However, it can lead to issues of dryness causing sex to be painful. If this is the case for you, your partner will need to go slow, be gentle and you will likely need to use a lubricant.

      This may not be your issue at all, but wanted to share this information in case it might be helpful.

      Best, @MsGreene
      Note: I am the co-founder of DrGreene.com, but I am not Dr. Greene and I am not a doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies.

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  115. Jill

    I had a miscarriage over a year ago, it resulted in me having a dnc. Ever since the procedure sex is very painful. I don’t know what to do, I spoke to my doctor but everything they have done from ultra sounds to ct scans nothing shows that there is anything wrong.

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  116. Nicole

    Hi Dr Greene,

    Just recently I have a new sexual partner. He is just a little bit bigger than the person I was with for over three years. Deep penetration is very painful with him. Could that be because I am not used to him yet? Sex has never been painful for me.

    Thanks!

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  117. ari

    i lost my virginity but i couldnt have sex because it hurts way too much and everytime i want to have sex i stop my boyfriend because i cant stand sex. what should i do? should i bear it or what?
    thanks

    Added:
    • Lisa

      Hi I had you problem quite recently and it took us 2 months to work around it. Just make sure you’re really comfortable with each other and you know your body well enough. Try different things to get a feel of what sex would feel like. Im 20 and was a virgin before my current partner.

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  118. Judith

    I cant stand sex. When my boyfriend’s penis goes inside me, I feel pain and I ask him to stop, but some time I just bear it. The pain has always been there and my boyfriend is a sex maniac. What do I do?

    Added:
    • Hi Judith,

      I recommend you visit your ObGyn. Likely she can help you. This might include using vaginal dilators and lubricants to make sex less painful, but you should be checked by a physician. Sex should never be painful.

      I hope that helps.
      Best, @MsGreene
      Note: I am the co-founder of DrGreene.com, but I am not Dr. Greene and I am not a doctor. Please keep that in mind when reading my comments and replies.

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    • sheila mae

      Is your vagina better now? What did you do?? Just because I have the same problem as you….

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  119. destiny brown

    I am 20 and have a baby, but every time I have sex it hurts. It hurts to put in a tampon. I don’t no why. I asked my Dr. and he didn’t check anything. He just said I could be tense, but I know that’s not it. I just don’t understand.

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  120. victoria

    Me to

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