Sex Should not Hurt!

I am a 17-year-old girl, and I want to know why it hurts so much when my boyfriend and I have sex?

Sex Should not Hurt!

Dr. Greene’s Answer:

Sex hurts? How unsettling! And much more common than you might imagine. Doctors have a name for this; we call it dyspareunia (pronounced dis-pah-ROO-ne-ah). Most women have gone through a stage in which intercourse is painful; in up to a third of women, this has lasted a long time. 1 There are many reasons why having sex can hurt.

Before we look at some of the more common reasons, I’d like to say a word about communication. Sometimes sex is hard to talk about. I’ m very glad you asked your question here. Dyspareunia can be solved, one way or another, for people who are willing to ask about it.

One of the key things to learn during your current difficulties is that it’s important to talk with your partner about what is going on. Tell your boyfriend why you like him and what feels good when you are together. But also tell him when something hurts. Learning to work together is an important part of sex.

What might be causing the pain depends on whether sex has always hurt or if this is a recent development; whether it hurts every time or only sometimes; and (perhaps most importantly) whether you feel the greatest pain when the penis first enters or once it is in deeply.

If you hurt as the penis first enters, the most common problem is not enough lubrication. Friction in this sensitive area can hurt! Your organs normally get wet and slippery as part of sexual arousal. Taking more time for sexual play before intercourse is often all that is needed to turn a painful experience into a pleasant one. Too fast is usually too dry.

Fear, too, can decrease lubrication. Fear of infection, fear of pregnancy, and fear about the relationship are all common. Abuse or incest can leave you dry until the real hurt is healed.

A water-based lubricant (do not use lotion, baby oil, or Vaseline) you pick up at the drugstore can work wonders, but don’t ignore the reason for decreased lubrication, if you know what it is.

Pain on insertion might also come from inflamed external genitals. The tissue might be inflamed from a yeast infection, warts, herpes, or some other infection. Sometimes the area is tender from a benign cyst called a Bartholin’s gland cyst. All of these conditions require medical treatment.

Intercourse can also remain painful as long as the hymen is partly intact. If you can insert a tampon comfortably, a mechanical obstruction is not likely.

Pain with deep penetration usually comes from the deeper organs being tender. This includes the ovaries, uterus, bladder, and even the intestines. At your age, the most common reasons for deep pain are ovarian cysts, a retroverted uterus (positioned so it gets bumped during intercourse), abdominal adhesions (in people who have had abdominal surgery), and an infection called pelvic inflammatory disease. Many other, less common conditions (such as inflammatory bowel disease) can also make you hurt. In some positions (such as lying on the side), penetration is not as deep, and sex might be more comfortable.

But if the hurting doesn’t improve quickly, you’ll also need to talk to your doctor about the pain. Be sure to tell them whether the pain has always been there or is new. Describe what hurts most and when. Work together to identify the cause. Don’ t stop asking about this until you understand why sex hurts and until you’ve gotten relief from the pain. Having sex shouldn’t have to hurt.
Footnote References:
1 Glatt, AE, Zinner SH, McCormack WM. The prevalence of dysparenia. Obstet Gynecol 1990;75:433.

Dr. Alan Greene

Dr. Greene is the founder of DrGreene.com (cited by the AMA as “the pioneer physician Web site”), a practicing pediatrician, father of four, & author of Raising Baby Green & Feeding Baby Green. He appears frequently in the media including such venues as the The New York Times, the TODAY Show, Good Morning America, & the Dr. Oz Show.

  1. amy

    Hi am married for three years and am having a baby and still it’s painful when am having sex it’s very hard to bare the pain and am so scared to face the moment please help

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  2. Karina

    Two weeks ago i had sex with my boyfriend and when he was putting it in it kind of hurt probably it was cause I had months without having sex so when he was penetrating me slowly i didnt hurt everything was going ok until he started doing it fast and he put it in all the way and my lower abdomen was hurting a lot like if it was hitting something but it did hurt a lot i want to know why it cause me a lot of país

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    • Hi Karina,

      As Dr. Greene says in the article, sex should not hurt. When it does, it’s wise to be checked by a doctor. She will do a physical exam to make sure there are no internal problems.

      Hope that helps,
      @MsGreene

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  3. Claire

    I am 16 years old and I’ve been recently trying to have sex with my boyfriend. Sexual pleasure always occurs however, everytime he tries to put it in, the pain makes my legs shake and sometimes I just freeze because I feel like a lot of blood will go everywhere or something will tear, causing me more pain. Due to this problem which I experience, there hasn’t really been a time where his penis hasn’t fully gone in and not even half way. What can I do to reduce this pain or is it something I just have to go through?

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  4. Tori

    I am 17 and Ive had sex with my boyfriend before. But tonight when we went to do it, started out amazing then he went to go deeper and I noticed it started to hurt. But it didn’t hurt to the point of that I couldn’t continue. So I didn’t say anything to him, but then the small pain turned into sharp shooting pain, then I had to tell him. We continued but couldn’t after a few of telling him. Its been almost an hour since we stopped and it hurts to walk and to move. But it also hurts to sit. And the pain went all the way from my vagina to the middle of my stomach, and still is.

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    • Sounds like it would be smart for you to get a physical exam from a qualified physician. I know that may not be easy to do, but you need to make sure you’re okay. After a physical exam, the doctor should be able to give you more specific suggestions.

      Best,
      @MsGreene

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  5. Kat

    Hi, I’m 18 years old and I’ve recently had sex and well what I want to know is why does it hurt when it’s in and when we are done? Then after a few minutes it goes away and I don’t feel no pain. Should I be worried?

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  6. Amy

    Hi, I’m 19 years old and recently when having inter course with my partner it hurts in my tummy, no where else just my tummy around the bottom, it actually feels like my partners penis is in my stomach. Is this normal? Or should I go to my local gp? It’s starting to worry me now

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    • Sounds like it would be good to have a doctor do a physical exam. It’s probably fine, but better safe than sorry.

      @MsGreene

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      • Swara

        Hey I m 16 yr old nd m nd my bf have sex once a day in a week but 3-4 times on that day when he enters his penis deep inside the vagina my stomach pains plz help m

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  7. Brooke

    Hi Dr. Greene.

    I am 23 and just had sex for the first time a few days ago. I understand that it is going to be painful at first but it has been 3 times now and the pain is only getting worse. Lubrication isn’t the problem, I’m aroused and plenty wet. But it feels like someone is ripping me apart and stabbing deep inside me. No matter how gentle my partner is the pain is almost unbearable. Is this normal?

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    • Hi Brooke,

      This sounds like you need to see a GYN and have a physical exam. I’d make an appointment as soon as you can and probably avoid having sex again until after your appointment.

      It’s probably nothing, but sex should not hurt. The way you are describing it, is not going to make for a good long term relationship.

      Hope that helps,
      @MsGreene

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  8. Vaughan

    Hi Doctor,
    Let me start by saying I’ve always considered myself below average when it comes to endowment. My girlfriend is very petite and the most beautiful person I have ever met. However, when we have sex in the deepest penetrating positions she complains of discomfort like a bloating sensation as the head of my penis pushes against her cervix. The sex is fantastic otherwise. Is there anything can be done so we can enjoy all positions, or do I just need to hold back?

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  9. Anastasia

    Hi Doctor. Me and my boyfriend don’t have sex a lot because of our work schedules. However, when we do it hurts SO much. He isn’t my first but he was the person I had sex with for the second time. The first was just whatever, it happened and ended. Also, I don’t get wet at all. And even after we have sex, finish, then start again a few minutes later, it hurts all over again. And in every position. Confused, please help.

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  10. noname

    Hi. I’m an 19 years old girI and I felt so much pain even it’s my 4th time having sex. Also I can’t orgasm or feel anything good. Please help me.

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    • A person.

      Hello, it use to be that way for me to I shouldn’t orgasm and it hurt. Start slow, try riding him and going slow to fast. Don’t rush yourselves, it’s easier when you go slower then work your way up.

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  11. Ashley Rine

    Hi doctor I’m 19 and I’m having a lot of problems after the depo shot. Only had 3 shots I’ve been off of it for almost2 years ever since that I have to use lubricant everytime. When he goes deep I get stabbing pain on lower belly and I get yeast infections like every other week. I never got yeast infections and now I’m always getting one! And after sex the entering of my vagina is sore on the sides? So much has been going on I’ve went to my gyno numerous times over these 2 years and she just tells me everything is fine that’s its normal vaginas get irritated easy. And i can tell she’s getting annoyed with me calling constantly but I’m tired of pain and yeast infections!! I’m 19 I shouldn’t be having this. She refuses to admit the depo messed me up. I just now started to get periods which are very weird and just keep misscaraging. Do you know what could be going on? Thankyou

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  12. Kayla

    Hi Dr. Greene after my baby was born i have been having trouble when we have sex he says it hurts him it feels like something shape is cutting him n when we finish his skin has peeled it takes him like 2 weeks for it too heal. Its so uncomfortable that I’m scared to even have sex anymore.

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    • Sounds like you need to see a Gyn and have a physical exam.

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  13. FAVIOLA

    HI I HAD SEX LAST NIGHT IN A NEW POSITION. I WAS LAYING DOWN FACE DOWN KIND OF SIDE WAYS. AND HE WAS ON TOP OF ME. EVERY TIME HE WENT IN TOO DEEP IT HURT REALLY BAD. AND AFTER WE WERE FINISHED I STAYED THERE LAYING DOWN AND WHEN I TRIED TO MOVE I COULDN’T. IT HURT SO MUCH SO I MOVED SLOWLY SLOWLY TO TURN AROUND. FINALLY I MANAGED TO STAND UP AND I WENT TO THE RESTROOM. AND I TRIED TO SIT DOWN ON THE TOILET TO PEE BUT IT WAS LIKE REALLY BAD PAIN OR CONTRACTIONS. I NOTICED I WAS SHAKY AND I WAS SWEATING AND MY STOMACH FELT HARD AND WEIRD. I BELIEVE IT WAS TOO MUCH PAIN I STARTED TO FEEL LIKE I WAS GOING TO FAINT. I GOT SCARED AND WENT TO LAY DOWN BESIDES HIM. AND SLOWLY IT WENT AWAY. PLEASE HELP !!!!

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    • Hi Faviola,

      This may not be an issue, but it sounds like you should get a physical exam to make sure everything is okay. Even if you feel better now, it would be wise to be checked before having sex again.

      Sorry you’re going through this!
      @MsGreene

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  14. Des

    I’ve had unprotected sex with my husband for a year now and just recently it start to hurt everytime we would have sex at first but weade sure I was really wet before he came into me and then one day I went pee and.it hurt really bad and I kept having to pee every 10 min and only a little came.out then my vigina would hurt really had.after.I was done peeing and I started to notice bleeding and blood in my underwear but I know it’s not my period and we tried sex one more time and it hurt so we went slow and once we were.done and he pulled out there was blood everywhere (he already had poped my cheery 2 years ago) and it was thick and thin really red.almost like bright but orange. What is going on with me?

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    • Des,

      Your symptoms sound like a urinary tract infection (UTI). If so, it’s highly treatable, but you need a prescription for an antibiotic. It would be smart to see a doctor as soon as possible.

      Hope this helps,
      @MsGreene
      Co-founder & Executive Producer, DrGreene.com (NOT a doctor)

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  15. Hope

    Hi there I just tried having sex with my boyfriend but I couldn’t all I felt was so much pain and when I got up I was bleeding a lot. It stopped bleeding a lot after I sat on the toilet and wiped myself down. I don’t know what to do though because he didn’t go in because of my pain. Can I actually have sex without bleeding a lot and not having a lot of pain? I am a virgin. Or was… I don’t know…

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    • Vontrece

      I don’t know to Much about it but I do know it hurt so much because you were a virgin, and its common for sex to hurt when ur a virgin. But it becomes more pleasurable the more you have sex, my first time having It i didn’t bleed because maybe I didn’t have a hymen in other words cherry It’s a slang term for “popping your cherry” breaking the hymen during sex, The hymen is a very thin layer of skin that is often stretched across the vaginal opening, but by the time a girl is old enough to have sex, she might not have a hymen at all in my case I guess.. But if your vagina continues to bleed during sex you should stop immediately and tell your mother or father if you’re not comfortable with telling them about it schedule yourself a doctors appointment, I’m assuming that you’re old enough to schedule your own appointment since you’re having sex and all but if it continues it might be something more serious so don’t be a fool get yourself checked out it’s very important for us women/young women to keep our body healthy.

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  16. Sarah

    For some reason every time my boyfriend and I have sex at first, when he puts it in, it is so painful until his the entire way in and the pain goes away. After sex I’m left with a very tender sore spot near the vagina opening, which last for a day or two. It doesn’t matter how wet or how much lubricant we use it always hurts. I haven’t had this problem with former partners.

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  17. Melody

    Hey there.. Well Im 16 and Ive had sexual intercourse throughout the last couple of years….. :/ Until recently I find it painful when my bf and I have sex.. Its all fine at first but about 15 minutes in, it feels like someone is stabbing me down there.. I feel bad because we cant have sex more than once every couple of weeks.. And when we do, he feels bad afterwards.. Whats wrong with me??

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  18. SH

    Sex has always been very painful for me. I bought plastic vaginal dilators thinking they would help but they are painful when moving around and if I try to sleep in them, they are too uncomfortable. Is there a particular type of dilator I can use that’s more comfortable?

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  19. Zahra

    Hi dear Dr,
    Im 30. It’s not possible for me and my boy friend to have sex often, may be once a month.
    So when we’re together he expects to have sex for 4 or 5 times. It doesn’t hurt for the 10 first minutes but after that i get a very bad pain in my vaginas in a way that i can’t stop crying.
    When he sees me crying he loses his intrest. It becomes too bothering.
    I want to be pleased and make him pleased too.
    Help me.

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  20. Jenny

    Just had sex painful mostly going in hurts little inside as well….pain for a little while after everything ok?

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  21. Lala

    Hi Doc! I am 25 years old. I just married 2 mon ths ago. Unfortunately I am still a virgin. Every time his penis came into my vagina, I thought it just pressed the hymen. I felt so hurt. It was painful though we already used water lubricant. So that every time when we did this, we stopped at the intercourse stage. I don’t think I could endure the pain. What should I do? I don’t wanna ruin my marriage. I am hopeless. Please help me!

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    • It would be wise to see your ObGyn and get a physical exam.

      I wish I had a more helpful tip, but this is really a time you should see your doctor.

      @MsGreene

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  22. angel

    Here recently my lower back (right side) has experienced slight pain when my boyfriend goes deep. This has never happened until now. I also just got my birth control removed, can that be a problem? Should i go see a doctor?

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    • It would be wise to see a doctor. It may be nothing, but getting it checked is the smart thing to do.

      @MsGreene

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  23. Katie

    I really need help!! Every time me an my boyfriend have sex it hurts really bad when he sticks it in at first an once he finally gets in it still hurts, and I feel like I’m really wet an I even check to see if I am to make sure!! it wasn’t like this until about 4 months ago an it still hurts, I just want this pain to go away I wanna be able to enjoy sex!! Please help me!!!

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    • Since this is a new symptom, it would be wise to have a check-up with pelvic exam from your doctor.

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    • Jenny

      I am the same way!
      First time having sex too!

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  24. Magerath

    I feel pain in some position during sex,something like he hit something inside

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  25. ran

    My wife and I when we have sex in deep penetration she sometimes stop because it hurts but when shes on top she like it very much.. just making her comfortable, and while on top she can adjust how long it should be inside.

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  26. jazz

    I’m 19 years old. I’ve had sex with the same person for the last year & a half we stopped for about 3 months and now when we have sex I get pains really bad in my vagina and stomach. I don’t understand why. I’ve been checked for STDs and uti and I don’t have any. What could the problem be? I don’t wanna lose him. Sex is really important in our relationship please help

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    • Lorrain

      Hi Jazz,

      I am experiencing the same thing – were you able to get a possible answer to your question?

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      • jazz

        No I haven’t found an answer yet. We’ve been trying using more lube but its still not helping

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  27. Amy

    Hey I recently got married about a year ago he’s the only guy I’ve ever had sex with but lately it’s been so painful I’m 29 years old but when my husband try to go all the way in Goin in from the back it would be so painful like I can’t breathe pain.. it’s like my abdominal hurts so much. .please let me know I’m trying to get pregnant for a year and I think this might be the problem.

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  28. Becky

    Hi there,

    I’m in my early 20’s. I have been sexually active for roughly 8 years. But I have only had sex with two guys. My husband and I hardly ever have sex because it hurts so bad. Everytime he starts entering it feels like my vagina is beig torn apart. However we really want a baby so we have started to have sex more. It’s not enjoyable for us at all because I’m always in pain. Will this prevent us from having a baby? What can we do to make sex feel better for us both?

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    • Talk to your ObGyn. Ask her if it would help you to use vaginal dilators to help stretch your vagina. If not, what else might she recommend?

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  29. Jo

    I’ve never had sex but the other day my boyfriend and I started to get intimate and he tried to have sex with me. His penis didnt go inside me fully because I asked him to stop but it has been 2 days and my vagina is a bit sore now. Is this normal if he hasnt technically gone into me? I’m just worried something is wrong now?

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  30. nadia onika

    Hello dr. I had are problem when I was young. A guy forced me to have sex with him when I was 8. Today am 20, but I never enjoy sex with anyone. I just feel them hurting me, but sometime I get a feeling of doing it, but when I meet a man I lose my feelings. When he starts I feel only pain. What should I do??? Please help me.

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  31. JM

    I’m 15, I lost my virginity about 3 months ago, I believe the exact date was June 8th 2015, I haven’t had sex with my boyfriend since then until the 8th of September, so exactly 3 months later (a few days ago) and it still hurt, and we had sex today and it still hurts and he isn’t even getting all the way in, only about half way. I am kind of worried. Is there something wrong? And is there anything I can do about it?

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    • Cass

      Make sure you are using lubrication. I know its kind of gross but spit works if you don’t have any.

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    • RJ

      Yes there is something wrong and yes there is something you can do about it. First you are only 15, don’t throw your life away. You have plenty of years to gain experience and enjoy it when you learn responsibility. You can stop having sex. No more pain from sex. Your a kid, act like it while you still have a chance. God forbid you have a baby before you even have a job to take care of your self much less a fregging baby. Seriously, you can do other things besides having intercourse. Good luck to you.

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  32. shakyla Dixon

    I’m 25yrs old and my man nuts in me all the time i came on my period last month and now this month iam having pains out nowhere now and my stomach is hurting bab now so me and my man just had sex so could i be pregnant now i feel so sick please help me.

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    • Sounds like it’s time for a home pregnancy test.

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  33. Carmen leal

    Haven’t had sex for almost 18 months and when I did I started bleeding. Then I had sex with someone else and bled. This has never happened to me. Now when I go to restroom and clean myself I have a little blood.

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  34. Toni

    Hi, I am about to be 27 years old. I have three kids and been with the same partner for almost 7 years. I had all of my children vaginally with no problems at all even after I was healed did not have any problems. My husband and I used to be able to have sex all different ways and it was enjoyable without any complaints.

    Feel really bad about myself and feel like my marriage is on the border line of a divorce because for the last two years been experiencing a horrible pain. It started out to where when he would go deep in any position he would only be able to go in so much. Even going in so much I felt really irritated, but it was tolerable. We have not had good sex for almost two years. I have been to the doctor, taken tests — everything comes back negative. I have no odor or itchiness. Some times it is better than others. I have tried everything, started taking cranberry pills daily, we both use a soap that is all natural, use the best lubrication, even washing off more frequently. Some times I do have chalky white stuff that goes on his penis other times not at all.

    Really I just want him to be able to have sex like how we used to without experiencing any pain at all when he goes deep or not feel like I have to stop because I have to pee because he is hitting something that I feel like going to urinate. Please help me I don’t know how much more my marriage is going to hold up and it is really unfortunate because I know we really love one another, but our sex life in the past was a major plus for both of us.

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    • Jenn

      Everything you said is exactly what I’m going through now. Makes me cry knowing I can’t please my husband and this could lead to a divorce.

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    • mrs g

      Have you found a solution yet?im going through this now with my hubby :(

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  35. justme

    My husband and I have been married for five years… Two kids.. Both born Csection… Sex is very painful… Our youngest is three. The deeper, the more it hurts… Its very aggravating for both of us.. Feels like he’s hitting something… Help.

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  36. opeyemi

    I am a 21yr old girl. I did virgin at the age of 20. Since then been feeling a lot of pain anytime I had sex with my boyfriend till date. Please what can cause it?

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  37. asuman

    my gal friend started having severe pain in her vagina when she was pregnant, it continued even after giving birth. we’ve had some herbal medication from our local herbalists and pain calmed down but now we simply cant have sex coz she feels pain whenever i try to enter. we need help

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  38. Thania

    Me and my boyfriend have been having sex since November and we had no problems from any angle. We’ve only had vaginal intercourse and we stopped having sex for like about 3 months and we started again. There was just one angle that hurt really bad when he bend me over or from behind we tried it like 5 times but it still hurts like I get a weird uncomfortable pain like to my stomach.

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  39. Wendy

    I’ve Been HavingbSex For About 3 Years And This Is The First Time Ive Ever Had A Real Bad Burning In My Pleasure Spot. Me && My Boyfriend Haven’t Had Sex In 3 Days Because Of The Pain I’ve Been Having.Its Been Going On For Only 4 Days And When I Pee I Pee Pinkish And My Pleasure Spot Starts To Burn To Where I Fel Like I Have To Pee Again && So I Try But It Hurts Me More…I’ve Read It Can Be Cancer But I Wanna Ask A Doctor Before I Start Thinking I Have Cancer…..What Can This Mean Or What Can I Do?…..I Can’t Really Do Anything Cuz My Pleasure Spot Starts To Hurt Me….Please Help Me.

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    • This sounds like a urinary tract infection (UTI). Time to see a doctor. If it is a UTI an antibiotic typically knocks it out pretty quickly.

      So avoid future UTIs, it’s wise to use the bathroom after intercourse to flush out any bacteria that might have entered during intercourse.

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    • Beth

      Sounds like a UTI to me.

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  40. Cassandra

    Hi, I am 20 I have a child who is almost three and I have had one sex partner in the past year but since November I have had sever pain when he goes deep. He and I have talked about it a lot. And he told me today that he missed going deep and he wants to make sure I am okay. So I am not sure. Talking about sex to a dr is very uncomfortable for me. Any suggestions on what could be the reson? And being dry that isn’t an issue. I also had the marena iud put in in December of last year as well and I just had another one out in because the first one came out and this time it’s staying in so far, but sex still hurts when he goes deep. I am thinking of asking for a triple swab? Or should I get a full std screaning done? He has tested negative for all std’s as of April 2015. Once again. And he and I both Don’t sleep around.

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    • Beth

      If you both don’t sleep around and are honest with each other. Then I shouldn’t worry about STD’s.

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  41. Sarah

    Me and my boyfriend want to have sex. He’s 17 and I am 16. We both are virgins. After reading some comments here it freaked me out whether it will hurt me. I talked with him about this. He said sex hurts the most for those who have abdominal pain during period. Is it true? I don’t have any pain during my period. I’m confused! Need your help!

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    • Princess Sweet Cheeks

      Your boyfriend has no idea what he’s talking about! You are young and need to remember that he is a boy, and a young inexperienced one at that. First time sex it’s almost always painful for the female the first time, because you are breaking your hymen! There are some lucky women who are born virtually hymenless, lucky gals they are! But everyone’s hymen is different, it’s an individual thing. So honestly none can really tell you what your first time will be like. Most likely there will be some pain and pressure ( nothing that big has ever been inserted yet) accompanied by some, depending on your body, or heavy bleeding, and the bleeding might happen for the first few times while your vagina adjust to its new friend! Well I hope I answered your question and helped. By the way I’m a 29 year old female living in las Vegas. Happy sex! ! !

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  42. tequila

    Dr I have had pain during sex for three years now my Dr. waves it off but lately it’s been worst please help and it’s not poor lubrication I’m 16

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  43. Shaunette

    Am 19 year old I start having sex January for the first time but after four month I start back having sex it hurt whenever my boyfriend n I having sex what can I do to reduce the pain

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    • tequila

      I’m 16 same problem

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  44. Bernice

    Am 24 and my boyfriend is 29 any time we have sex he uses saliva to lubricate his penis.I do not understand why he does that. Is it healthy? And why does he do that?

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  45. Celina

    Hey I’m 17 year’s old and me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time we had no lubricant so we used baby oil it didn’t hurt at all while we did it. But for some reason a couple of days went by and I needed to pee so I went nothing else on my body hurts except my pleasure spot on my vagina and when I go have a pee it burns so bad to the point where I feel like I should cry and it shortens my pee and maybe 20 mins or longer i have to pee again and its the same pain i just want it to go away but everything feels normal on my body except for that im freaking out and I’m scared I just need help asap

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    • It sounds like you Amy have a urinary tract infection. This is very common. It’s not a reason to freak out, but it is a good reason to see your doctor. Likely you will need a prescription.

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    • Cass

      You should never use baby oil

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  46. Abby

    I’ve been having sex for at least 1 year and a few months just recently around around February I had sex while I was on my period and idk but I think that ever since then I can not have sex because it hurts me, I can not tell if it’s bc I had sex while I was on my period or because I left a tampon in too long. Now it’s very frustrating, I can probably have sex at least once a week and I can not have sex two times a day or the day after because it hurts so much. Help me pleaseeeeeeeeeeee.

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  47. jenifer

    I had a pregnancy preventer. (Mirena) inserted and the past 2 months sexual intercourse has been very painful i have had the mirena nearly 2 years now but these past 2 months it has been unbearable i would try and have to stop due to stomach pains, feeling as though i was swelling around my vagina and on going throbbing sometimes. I would bleed after sex.
    I went to my doctor to seek advice i was given antibiotics as they thought it could have been an infection. But nothing no infection, they then insisted it had moved but was’t that either Any ideas???

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  48. jessica

    Why does it hurt every time my husband and i have sex? Well it actually only hurts when he’s about to go in. And yes, I do lubricate, but it still hurts. It seems like if it’s my first time we did it. We have a kid together so it’s not like it’s our first time because we have been together for years. Even after being done I kinda feel my vagina is a little swollen even though it’s not, but feels like it.

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  49. tara

    Okay so me and my boyfriend had sex this was are second time doing it we did it with a condom but it broke so we just kept on doing it! But lately ii been having pain down there like crazy pain ii walk and it hurts ii have to stay sitting down when ii can ii use the bathroom way more then ii use to and ii would pee but then it would just stop out of nowhere and ii felt like ii have to keeping doing it but nothing would come out ??????????? HELP ME

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    • Joe

      Sounds like a UTI urinary tract infection, I suffered the same symptoms

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    • quinn

      Go see a doctor. It’s probably just a urinary tract or yeast infection. Easy to get rid of with prescribed medication.

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    • Jessoca

      Same thing happened to me but the piece of condom got stuck in me and it came out but my insides have never felt right since and sex is real uncomfortable. I just want to feel normal again.

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  50. Kitkat

    I don’t know if this will help anyone but when I had sex and it hurt that was because I had a UTI I’m sure you would know if you had it. But just to be sure perhaps check for any infections. I had no idea what was causing the pain and till now in certain positions it hurts a lot to the point where I’m just waiting for him to finish. In another case I had an inflamed ovary. There is just so much that could be causing it.

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    • Joey

      How did you find out it was an inflamed ovary?

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  51. sara

    I just started having sex around 10 days ago and we have been doing it pretty close to everyday. But it hurts when he first puts it in. He goes slow and it stops so we speed up but I feel pressure inside and its uncomfortable. When he goes in it feels like its pulling everything with it inside even if its not dry and then when he pulls out it feels like a suction. Then when he goes in deep it feels like he is hitting something in there like my cervix or something idk. Sometimes is feels good but if he goes to fast or to much thrust it hurts and I don’t want it to hurt so we can have fun and go rough .. but It mainly hurts when we do missionary with him on top, but it doesn’t stop hurting, but when I’m on top it hurt a little but then goes away. We don’t have any lubricants but we use saliva on him and it goes in easy but kinda hurts, some days are worse than others. Then after sometimes it feels like I have been rubbed really bad even if is not dry down there. Is this going to continue or will is go away eventually ??

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  52. sharon matsemela

    Sharon Matsemela. I’m also hevin d same problem. It hurts a lot each nd every time we have sex. Is this becoz we are in LDR or I have a problem. Phela sex xud not hurt. I haven’t had sex in 3months now.

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  53. sheila mae

    Every time I’m having sex with my boyfriend I feel pain, but I don’t have cut. And I am also weat, but I’m curious why I feel pain??? Someone can you help me!!!! Please! I really need help. I don’t know what to do!!!

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  54. Kimberly

    Hi I’m 16 and when I first had sex it hurt a lot it felt like it tore, every time I have sex I bleed and it hurts what should I do?

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  55. marvin

    Since the doctor put a sling in my wife, it has gotten more an more painful for both of us. I can’t even get the head inserted, she makes frightening faces and almost cries. It feels like it is cutting in to my dick and it hurts for days. I need sexual intercourse pain free. Don’t know what to do.

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  56. roxanne kaye

    My pain started when I took Yasmine. It gave me chest pain so I stopped it. I took the pills for 2 years. I looked it up and it said it relines the lining in you vagina and since I stopped the pills it hurts so bad. I want to have sex, but I can’t take the pain. Before the pills I was sexually active a lot with one man, but I barely have sex once a week. What can I do?

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  57. angela

    I would like love life back it hurt when sex and 47 years old

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  58. liz

    I’ve only had this problem with this partner. I’ve been with him 2.5 years and problem started 6 months ago. We use plenty of lube and condoms. I’ve been to the doctors. They said deep internal vaginosis. I tried treatment. Nothing. They said try thrush. I did. Nothing. I just think maybe it’s going to hurt now. So I think about it and it puts me off. I try to relax but its hard when your worried.

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  59. poochie

    I am 19 and having the same problem you all are having. For some reason when my boyfriend sticks his penis in side of me I can feel pain, but once he starts stroking I feel nothing unless he’s ruff/pounding it. I have no idea what it is. It’s been like this ever since I started having sex. He doesn’t force it. We use lots of lubricant. It has to be extra wet, but still there’s pain when we first start, then I can’t feel anything. Never heard of it before and was to shy to ask about it.

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  60. jane

    When I have deep sex it really hurts as if the end of the penis is touching something, it has always been the same so I asked the doctors and she said my womb is probably low, is there anything I can do to stop it being painful apart from different positions?

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    • Macy

      I have the same issue! When my boyfriend and I have sex, it doesn’t hurt in the slightest until he goes deeper and then it feels like he’s poking my cervix or belly button. It almost makes me not want to because of the pain. I wish I knew exactly what it was and my treatment options

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  61. Rose

    I’m 23 years old and I’m sexually active, but every time I and my boyfriend have sex it hurts. Is there something really wrong with me? I wasn’t sexually abused, but why does it hurt?

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    • Fatima Siddiqui

      I am 23 yrs old and my boyfriend is 21 yrs old …..so while doing long time sex with my boyfriend I feel pain in my vagina when his penis enter in my anus in 3rd or 4th time during sex. So it might be any problem for us…..

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  62. Jennifer smith

    I’m 27 years old and I have 3 kids. Why does it hurt to have sex? I even got my tubes tied, but why dose it hurt to have sex? Please tell me. Thank you so much.

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    • Some time in delivery of babies the doctor takes a few “extra stitches” to tighten the opening to the vagina. This keeps the opening to the vagina from becoming too stretched out. However, it can lead to issues of dryness causing sex to be painful. If this is the case for you, your partner will need to go slow, be gentle and you will likely need to use a lubricant.

      This may not be your issue at all, but wanted to share this information in case it might be helpful

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  63. Jill

    I had a miscarriage over a year ago, it resulted in me having a dnc. Ever since the procedure sex is very painful. I don’t know what to do, I spoke to my doctor but everything they have done from ultra sounds to ct scans nothing shows that there is anything wrong.

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  64. Nicole

    Hi Dr Greene,

    Just recently I have a new sexual partner. He is just a little bit bigger than the person I was with for over three years. Deep penetration is very painful with him. Could that be because I am not used to him yet? Sex has never been painful for me.

    Thanks!

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  65. ari

    i lost my virginity but i couldnt have sex because it hurts way too much and everytime i want to have sex i stop my boyfriend because i cant stand sex. what should i do? should i bear it or what?
    thanks

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    • Lisa

      Hi I had you problem quite recently and it took us 2 months to work around it. Just make sure you’re really comfortable with each other and you know your body well enough. Try different things to get a feel of what sex would feel like. Im 20 and was a virgin before my current partner.

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  66. Judith

    I cant stand sex. When my boyfriend’s penis goes inside me, I feel pain and I ask him to stop, but some time I just bear it. The pain has always been there and my boyfriend is a sex maniac. What do I do?

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    • Hi Judith,

      I recommend you visit your ObGyn. Likely she can help you. This might include using vaginal dilators and lubricants to make sex less painful, but you should be checked by a physician. Sex should never be painful.

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    • sheila mae

      Is your vagina better now? What did you do?? Just because I have the same problem as you….

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  67. destiny brown

    I am 20 and have a baby, but every time I have sex it hurts. It hurts to put in a tampon. I don’t no why. I asked my Dr. and he didn’t check anything. He just said I could be tense, but I know that’s not it. I just don’t understand.

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  68. Caroline

    I also have problems, i’m also 17 i went back and forth to my doctor only to be told theres nothing wrong with me an that its all psychological.. i’m a bit lost for what to do as its a bit disheartening for both me and my boyfriend

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  69. jenny wood

    i am having problem also it hurts when i have sex in certain position i know the feeling and i am a grow woman

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    • victoria

      Me to

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