For a long time I kept two separate calendars: one for work and one for home. I thought it was necessary to keep two very separate schedules in order to be in control of both facets of my life. I wasn’t working with men who were open about what they were dealing with outside of the office, so I followed their lead and never talked about my mothering dilemmas. What kind of weakness would I be exposing if I told them that an elementary school teacher was getting under my skin?
Nor did I want to think about what might cross my boss’s mind if he saw an entry for a second-grade Halloween party on my Tuesday morning calendar. My calendar became a microcosm for what I felt I was battling in the rest of the world.
Combine your Calendars
Keeping two calendars meant that I bifurcated my life, and as a consequence I felt bifurcated. Meeting and appointment overlaps occurred and I began dropping the ball. I was missing important issues at work and at home. I felt tugged in too many opposing directions.
My answer was to combine my calendars – literally. At first this was shocking. I quickly realized that I had four items scheduled in the same block of time in four different locations. No wonder, I was dropping the ball. Nobody can manage a schedule like that !
Once I got over the shock I had the opportunity to assess the situation and make conscious choices. I could only be in one place. When I made my decision I did not renegotiate with myself. I didn’t think: “I should have…. I could have….. “ I gave my decision 110% and tried to not look back.
I also stopped caring if someone else saw a personal item on my schedule and I began to share my home life with the men in the office. Guess what, they also have a personal life and wanted to share!! Maybe I just needed to start the conversation.
Don’t search for balance, the answers are within you.