If I had it to do over again …

If I had it do to over 2I’m writing to all the new mamas out there who are surviving through those first years of parenthood. Yes, you will survive and yes it is difficult. But every stage has its hard parts and its beautiful memories. In many ways, it does get easier. But it’s not about taking the easy way out. As your kids get older, the easy way is to give them everything they want and to create a perfect world for them where they have no unfulfilled desires. But that isn’t the real world and it doesn’t serve them for the future. I’m telling you now not to go for easy but instead to go for raising your kids right.

If you’re doing it right, you will have kids unhappy with their bedtime, their chores and their food choices. If you’re doing it right, they will say you are mean (In fact, I have been told that I’m the meanest mom in the universe). It’s not always like that. But our children need boundaries and family values to live by.

If I had it to do over again, I would have let my daughter cry it out instead of lay by her crib until she fell asleep.

If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t have given in just because my son whined and whined, because I basically just trained him to whine to get what he wants.

If I had it to do over again, I would have given a much bigger consequence the first time my kids spoke with disrespect, so that they would never consider it again.

It is my nature to be the peacekeeper, but I have learned that I haven’t served my family by allowing them to rule the roost. What I would and will continue to do is to love my family unconditionally and to set the tone for all of us. They can whine and scream and fight but that doesn’t mean that I need to engage in their battles. The goal is to stay true to your family rules, stay calm and parent with love.

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Lisa Druxman

Lisa Druxman is the creator of Fit 4 Mom. She is a nationally recognized speaker, author and highly regarded expert in the field of pre/postnatal fitness.

Note: This Perspectives Blog post is written by a guest blogger of DrGreene.com. The opinions expressed on this post do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Greene or DrGreene.com, and as such we are not responsible for the accuracy of the information supplied. View the license for this post.

  1. I’d teach my children more about finances. — I grew up with very little and always felt I couldn’t have pretty things. My clothes rarely matches and there was no such thing as an ensemble. Accessaries? Nada. As a result, I wanted my kids to have the things I wanted when I was a child. But I didn’t teach them the importance of waiting for the things you want.

    I’d spend more time together at the kitchen sink washing dishes. — My kids had so much homework and so many activities that they had little down time. So I let them out of chores. Now I look back at the times I spent doing dishes WITH my mother and I realize how much I missed out by not doing dishes with my kids.

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  2. lisadruxman

    Curious, what would you do differently if you had to do it over again?

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