Disclosure: A version of this piece previously posted on TheFabMom.com
Guilt is a wasted emotion. I thank my own mom, my best friend to this day, for teaching me this early on in life.
Guilt wastes time. Guilt wastes energy. Guilt wastes your youth away. Guilt will NOT make you a good mother… it will only distract you, push you down, question your own confidence and annoy you so that you take it out on your family. And that’s not fabulous at all.
Don’t guilt yourself into thinking that you shouldn’t utilize the TV once in a while, you shouldn’t give your kids lollipops once in a while, you shouldn’t be calling a babysitter so that you can have one day of running errands without loading two toddlers into shopping carts.
Everything in moderation, folks. That’s my philosophy.
The truth behind my plight: I just don’t have time for guilt. NO ONE DOES.
I repeat: Guilt will not make you a good mom. It will only make you doubt yourself and possibly lead to….
Failure. I can’t bear to hear yet another mom say “I feel so guilty… like I’m failing all the time.” Stop it. Now. Because you shouldn’t and you’re not.
If you love your kids and are making choices everyday for the big picture and greater good of your family, YOU’RE NOT FAILING AND YOU DON’T NEED TO FEEL GUILTY. If you offer your best that you can each day to day, then you are NOT failing and have NOTHING to feel guilty for.
All we can do is our best… and it IS good enough whether or not we brainwash ourselves saying that it isn’t.
Of course I have my days of ‘I wish I’d done that differently’ regarding kids, home, husband, fill-in-the-blank here. Here’s what works for me:
On these type of days, I accept that I’m beat, stretched too thin, exhausted and then move on… without the thought of wishing I’d done something differently, spent more time with someone, made a better dinner… whatever. Because, I get another chance to try something differently.
Tomorrow, we all get another chance for another choice.
Think of it this way: If someone constantly told themselves that they felt “guilty” at their job/profession, chances are their quality of work and productivity would downward-spiral and cut their chances of getting that promotion to zilch. Guilt leads to worry, which leads to doubt, which leads to possible real failure.
Some days will be better than others, but it’s the big picture that counts. It all evens out (at least, that’s what my mom tells me). Make your choices, do your thing, don’t look back and that is that. That is successful.
It’s time we start giving ourselves “F’s” for fabulous… and not feel guilty about it.
Do you say no to guilt?