Fatherhood Without Plan B

Three young siblings obviously very comfortable with each other.

Three young siblings obviously very comfortable with each other.“Well, let me be the first to tell you, there are two babies in there.”  {pause} “And this appointment is now going to be twice as long so you might want to run down and put money in the meter.”

Those were the words uttered from the ultrasound tech that forever changed our lives – twins.

But first some back story:

Our first child, Alina, was born in a birth center with midwives, under water. (No we are not hippies believe it or not.) So when Chantal got pregnant with what we thought was a second child (singular), we went back to the birth center and midwives that we loved.  For those of you that don’t know, midwives do not request ultrasounds until 20 weeks.  Yes – 20 weeks.  So this adds a bit to the story – we were half way through the pregnancy when we found out.

HOLY S#&T, I say to myself.  I was happy that we were having twins and the magic that goes along with it, but the practical side kicks in in about…ummm 1.5 seconds saying Holy S#%t.  We were budding entrepreneurs and our first book was being published and we had to promote it and sell it…fast.  We were in Seattle as well and both our families did not live close (east coast and Nor Cal).  Plus the twins were boys and all of the stuff we saved from Alina were useless.  Plus, you need another crib, double stroller, and more cloth diapers (we really aren’t hippies I swear!)

Well, once it all settled down mentally and life went on, we made a plan and began to work the plan and everything worked out……well kind of…

There is this little thing called “sleep”.  Now, you may have heard that sleep depravation is a torture technique.  As someone who has experience it, trust me, it is true!  The first 11 months were a complete lapse in time.  I don’t really recall much of anything from February 2010 to January 2011, honestly.  I know things happened; I know we did publish the cookbook.  I know we did a 30 city book-signing tour with Whole Foods in Northern California.  I know we all lived.  I know that it was a struggle and truly tested our marriage, as emotions were wafer thin.

I remember when we exchanged vows and the minister said the parts about “in sickness and health, for richer or for poorer”…did he also mention sleep and no sleep? But I digress…

What I am trying to say is that even after all of this (and there is a book about all of this in my brain somewhere), I would not change any of it, not for a second.  My sons, AJ and Dario, are joys in my life.  I love them with all my heart and soul.  How lucky are we, twins!

What I have learned is life gives you challenges and you work them out because there is no plan B.   As the toddler saying goes. “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.”

To all the dad’s out there – Cheers!  Welcome to the club!

Shane Valentine

Article written by

Shane Valentine is an author The Baby Cuisine Cookbook, speaker, chef instructor for Whole Foods Market, activist and father of 3 An Ambassador for Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, American Heart Association 2020 Task Force and Marin County Child Care Commissioner.

 

Note: This Perspectives Blog post is written by a Guest Blogger of DrGreene.com and is provided in order to offer a variety of thoughtful points of view. The opinions expressed on this Perspectives Blog post do not reflect the opinions of Dr. Greene or DrGreene.com. As such, Dr. Greene and DrGreene.com are not responsible for the accuracy of the information supplied. This post is used under Creative Commons License CC BY-ND 3.0

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