I've been caught in a recurring cloud this week even though the sky has been essentially spotless. It's been one of those weeks where I find myself spinning around to grab the cup of milk or the steering wheel, muttering, "What am I doing?"

I am back perseverating on how to do this right. Life, I mean.

The issue of balance between work and parenting while trying to contribute to the world and use my skills (read: loaded issue) bubbles up at times. I never quite know what will trip me up, triggering a re-evaluation. But it comes up. Quarterly, let's say, like state taxes...

There are days I am astonished by my opportunities and the children I get to take care of. And days where I am so delighted by my kids, I cry when I leave for work. And days I question if I have the stamina to endure. Last night by the end of clinic, I was so tired and my eyes so bloodshot (no idea why), that my medical assistant took my temperature. It was normal. But, point is, it happens; I do get really tired.

The real trouble is this: I liked my day in clinic yesterday and the things I discovered: the broken bone I found in a 2 week old, the teenager I helped with depression, the 20+ checkups I completed. But tired and missing my boys, yes. See, this would be far easier if I was only pulled in one direction. It's not how it works for me; I have tugs on each limb.

The endless tug-o-war between arguments for those that stay at home and those that work while raising kids, goes on and on in my head. Specifically though, the retreat back to this issue of balance between work and home--and my current decision to work (a lot)--was spawned by 4 things:

• ‹ If It Were My Child: No Benadryl on the Plane
• Competitive Parenting ›