Our little sunshine Tim is now seven months and a half old. He’s currently the most important member of our family, and we all adjust to his schedule and rhythm. Sometimes it can be quite difficult and, most of all, exhausting, but this is what living with a baby is like. They grow up to be little curious munchkins too soon as it is.

I shouldn’t be complaining: Tim sleeps nicely through the night, waking up for his pacifier from time to time and falling back asleep immediately. However, he wakes up quite early in the morning and starts complaining around six and sometimes falls back asleep until seven. Since we all wish to catch a little more sleep, I tried having him next to me in my bed but was surprised to find that this made him complain even more. Since modifying his sleep habits has proved almost impossible, we’ve tried to modify ours – we resolve to go to bed earlier but generally end up carrying on without enough sleep.

Since grandmothers and grandfathers like to say that mommy and daddy deserve some rest, we decided that Tim and Pia would spend a weekend night at their grandmas’ houses. Tim will be staying with one grandma and Pia with the other, so that both grandmas could handle the little ones’ needs without it being too exhausting.

This won’t be anything new for Pia – she has stayed the night with both of her grandmas before and enjoyed her time there. But it will be the first time for Tim. Even though I’m looking forward to sleeping in the morning and not having to get up at six a.m., I’m also a little worried about how things will turn out. I remember that Pia first slept over at her grandma’s house at a very young age and had no problem. She’s very sociable, loves visiting people and is not afraid of anyone. Tim is different, calmer, more reserved. He observes his surroundings more carefully and is more attached to me… in short, he’s not like Pia.

So doubts creep in about how granny will “work it.” I’m 100 percent positive that she’ll be just fine, though I can’t help but wonder whether he is too small for such adventures. I truly don’t know if it is better for him to go and get used to it or if we should wait for him to be a little older. When I asked others about it, some of them thought we should wait and others said that he should get used to it early on or he won’t be comfortable with it when he’s older. I don’t know, I think we’ll try it out and see what happens.

What do you think about baby’s first sleepover at the grandparents’? When did you let go the first time, and what was the result?

This March, our Pia will blow out four candles on her birthday cake. I really can’t believe how quickly time passes.

I remember the day when she was born, when my and my husband’s lives changed tremendously. Even though you think you know what awaits you when you decide to have children, you soon learn that it is all a big surprise. You soon realize that you are now responsible for a tiny human being, who is helpless and depends on you completely. Your attachment grows deeper every day; building incredible bonds that you didn’t even know existed before your child was born.

I was fortunate enough to spend a whole year with my child at home, until it was time to go back to work again. No matter how soon you have to return to work, leaving your child’s side is a hard thing to do… not because you don’t feel like going back to work, but more because you know that you will now have to entrust your child to another person, leave him or her there and go away.

Although you know very well that you will spend time with your family after work, you struggle, at least at the beginning, with having to leave your child elsewhere while you’re working. Luckily, our Pia didn’t have to go to the kindergarten when I had to return to work, since my mother generously offered to babysit her. I’m very thankful to her. It is much easier to leave your child with a person you know, knowing he or she truly is in good hands. Pia stayed with her grandmother for a whole two years, but last year it was time for Pia to take her first steps into the kindergarten world.

I wasn’t worried about how she would fit in the group and amongst other children, as she’s a very sociable and confident girl. I didn’t even think about how big a step this was for her and for myself. When the day arrived, when my husband drove Pia away to the kindergarten for the first time, I felt like the worst mother in the world.  I felt guilty even though I knew that it was good for Pia to be among her peers, to have some company and learn how to be independent. I kept wondering what she was doing, whether she liked it there, what they were having for lunch, how she was getting along with others. But after a few days I realized that I had absolutely nothing to worry about, since she managed wonderfully at the kindergarten. As I had expected, she soon took on the role of “the boss” and was ordering everyone else about. Yes, my worries were obviously needless.

Even though you are aware that you won’t be able to be by your children’s side your whole life and that this is how it should be, you can’t help but feel a little sad when you start noticing that children are growing up and becoming more independent. And it is only kindergarten, I wonder what it will be like when they go to school, experience their first love, first job… Well, I guess we will all cross that bridge when we come to it.

What were your feelings when your first born went off to kindergarten? How did you handle going back to work? Did your feelings change the second time around when you welcomed another child into the family?

Here is a theory I live by: an active baby grows up into an active child, who then grows up into an active adolescent and an active adult. Therefore, it is crucial to focus on activity in the earliest period of life because we quickly forget to be active and instead end up being inactive somewhere in front of the computer or television.

Although media and bloggers today constantly draw attention to a lack of activity in the society, especially for kids, , perhaps we have not stopped to ask ourselves what brought us to this state of inactivity in the first place.

The answers to this question can be found as early as in the infant period. What we offer to our infant during the first couple of years serves as a great foundation for the rest of their lives. The fundamental problem may really be rooted in the way we care for our child when we try to keep him from discomfort.

When parents hear their children complaining about something, they rush to them and try to ease their “suffering.” We shower them with new toys, find ways to entertain them, quickly take them in our arms\, and want to please them in all possible ways so that they stop crying. However, is this really necessary? Will we be there their whole lives to help and entertain them whenever they feel discomfort?

In my opinion, completely eliminating discomfort makes no sense. As I have discovered, such whimpering and complaining is actually not a sign that there is something wrong with the baby, nor is it a sign of suffering or being in pain. It only means that they are bored with a toy and want another or that they would prefer lying on the stomach instead of on the back, etc. By reacting to each tiniest whimper, we prevent the child from making an effort to try and learn how to actively reach another toy, how to turn to the side, stomach, back or how to spend time playing on their own sometimes.

In addition, I see absolutely no need for children to be in the lap, reclining chairs or baby chairs all the time. Your baby will be most active and pleased when left on the ground, on a flat, soft but firm enough surface, which offers excellent opportunities for moving freely, and, what matters the most, for repeating free movements. This does not mean that your baby should be left alone on the ground.

A play mat can offer great opportunities for playing and having fun, which is why parents should never hesitate to join their children on the play mat and have fun together. However, don’t forget to give them enough space and remember to help them as little as possible when trying to reach a toy or roll over onto their stomach. Learning is repeating and the more they repeat, the more active they are.

Activity is what truly matters and what will stay with them for the rest of their lives. So, dear mothers and fathers, grandfathers and grandmothers, never spoil your children and grandchildren needlessly just because you’re afraid of them feeling a moment of discomfort. The challenges they face will make them happier and more active in the long run when they work through them alone.

One last thought on raising active children. Don’t forget that parents are the greatest role models for children; therefore, much more can be achieved through setting a good example than through words.

I’d like to hear from those of you with active young children… how do you keep your kids engaged and active? What advice can you share with other parents who may be battling to incorporate active hobbies and habits into their kids’ lives?

Whenever I go shopping, I first make a list of things that I need to buy at home. Even though I’m not overly forgetful, several times I went to the shop without a list and had absolutely no clue what I needed. As a consequence, I bought a bunch of unnecessary things and forgot those that I really should have bought. The reason lies in sly merchants – they know exactly how to convince customers to buy something they don’t need. This is why I prepare myself by bringing a list of things we need and trying to stick to it as much as possible (even though an additional product or two always find their way to the basket).

I have noticed that the exact same thing happens to parents when they go shopping for baby equipment and accessories. Once you enter one of such shops, you quickly lose control, unable to stop admiring all the beautiful and cute products, such nice colours and cute designs… Naturally, everything is quite expensive. Somehow the retailers and the things you’ve read have convinced you that your baby needs these products. But it is really important, really extremely important, that you make sure to do some research about what you would like to buy, whether it is necessary, the product’s advantages and disadvantages, etc., before going to children’s shops.

Without arming yourself with a list, shop assistants will have an easy job convincing you into buying the silliest things. You’ll probably tell yourself that friendly shop assistants surely know what’s the very best for your child because they work at a children’s shop. That’s a myth – they’re shop people, trying to get you to buy things, not experts in the essential needs of your child.

Shop assistants can tell you everything about different available colours and materials, the weight of the stroller, how equipment folds and unfolds, how amazing a resting chair is because it rocks the baby – but absolutely nothing about why this product is good for your baby and why it isn’t. They may convince you that a product is good for the baby because it will make your life easier, but they don’t necessarily take into account the products that ensure quality development.

I find such behaviour unacceptable. I realize that it is all about the money, as money makes the world go round. So, dear parents, before you end up buying a product, please think with your own head and forget about all advertisements that often convince us into buying things we don’t even know are inappropriate.

Question for you… what baby products did a shop assistant convince you to buy that you soon found unnecessary? What turned out to be essential?

When I wrote “Correct Baby Handling and Correct Choice of Appropriate Equipment and Accessories,” we might have marketed with, “Wow, a new handbook for parents on baby handling. This must be the latest, super modern thing. An entirely new invention that every single parent should know about!”

Hmm, yes, this is how the baby handling story could be hyped.

However, the true story doesn’t go like that at all. Baby handling is nothing new, nothing super modern. We might even say baby handling is something that our grandparents and great grandparents were skilled at without handbooks or special endeavours. It is something we have forgotten, even though we shouldn’t have.

I don’t see how a baby born 100 years ago is different from a baby born today. Today, just as a century ago, the baby is helpless after birth, as well as dependent and immature. But a hundred years ago, babies were not made to be life projects, and people would never consider getting a house mortgage just to buy all sorts of baby equipment available in the shop. People were simple, satisfied with little things, inventive and patient – and parents weren’t focused on creating babies that were perfect technological miracles.

Today when a woman finds out about her pregnancy, she dives into reading magazines, books, seeking out articles online, shopping for the best baby products and frantically searching for all things imaginable. But today’s mothers rarely consider  talking to their mothers or grandmothers and asking for a piece of advice. Why should you when everything is online?

This is a mistake we often make. How come we don’t listen to our loved ones? The people who raised us and other members of our families have no bad intentions and only want to keep our heads clear and share their views. Why do we rush into shops, buying all the “best” toys, baby rockers, resting chairs, front carriers and baby walkers available… when we actually don’t need them at all?

I am 100 percent positive that our grandmothers didn’t lie in expensive resting chairs, nor did they have numerous toys and other unnecessary equipment at their disposal. These “modern essentials” didn’t even exist. Children had to spend their time on the ground, in the lap or in the baby stroller, basket, etc. They began walking when they were truly ready for it and nobody forced them into it. Nowadays, we want everything to happen as soon as possible because we’re constantly in a hurry, because the neighbour’s kid is already sitting, crawling on all fours and standing up and…

Considering all of the above, what I’ve learned about baby handling is nothing new. The basic philosophy simply strives to encourage the child to be active as independently as possible, promotes communication between parents and the child and, most importantly, focuses on observing the child and discovering his or her needs – just like our parents and our grandparents did. You will quickly learn that children don’t need any expensive equipment and whatnot – new parents need onlylisten to their parents, share close contact with their babies and create quality opportunities for quality development.

Did you seek advice from your parents and grandparents during your pregnancy or after? What was the best advice you received?