If you have a young child at home and you are expecting your second you’re probably wondering how to help ease the transition into life with a new baby. Your toddler is used to having your undivided attention and now she has to share it with someone new.  This transition phase can be challenging for both parents if they are not prepared.  It’s even harder on your toddler if you haven’t spent quality time helping her understand how life will change.  I will note that you can never completely take away the change and stress your first child will feel with a new baby but you can definitely help ease her transition by making her feel more secure and loved.

Here are some tips to help your child and you adjust:

Before Baby is Born

• If your child is old enough take her to a sibling preparation class. This class is usually held at your local hospital or healthcare facility designed for children two years of age and older.  It helps siblings prepare for the emotional and physical realities of the arrival of a newborn. Activities can include arts and crafts, role-playing, and a mini-tour of the nursery and maternity unit to see where mom will be spending the night.
• Give her a baby doll to play with
• Expose her to other babies and let her see you interact with a baby
• Children’s picture books can help your toddler visualize how life will change with a new baby
• Have your child help you pick out gifts for the baby
• Make sure to spend quality one on one time with your toddler helping her understand how things will change once baby is born
• You can tell your preschool age child that you are going to have a baby by sharing the preparation activities and also showing her your growing belly
• If your toddler will be transitioning out of her crib and giving it to the new baby make sure to do this a few months before the birth so the adjustment of losing her crib is not such a huge deal

After Baby is Born

• When baby is born have your toddler come in to spend time with you first before she’s introduced to the new baby
• Use the baby’s name so that the toddler knows the baby is a person rather than “the baby”
• Encourage your toddler to touch the baby and show her how to do so in a gentle manner
• Make sure to continue your toddler’s regular schedule once you come home with baby (ask for help from family members to assist you)
• It is important to maintain the same rules and discipline even after the new baby arrives so your toddler has consistency
• Include your toddler in usual routines for the baby such as diaper changing, feeding time or bathing
• Each parent should make quality one on one time with the toddler so she still feels that she has your love and attention
• Have your toddler become your little helper by asking her to get a diaper for the baby or find the baby’s toy
• If your child is older it will be easier for her to adjust to a newborn sibling because they can understand what is happening and be actively involved.
• You should encourage involvement in helping with the new baby but not force it.  Offer to your older child that she can attend an infant CPR or child safety course designed for children who will become a new big brother or sister.  If your child feels like she has the skills and confidence to help care for her newborn sibling it will make it an easier transition on all of you.

Resources: Keys to Preparing and Caring for Your Second Child by Meg Zweiback Siblings Without Rivalry by Faber & Mazlich

Many families often have pets before they have a new baby and introducing them to your newborn appropriately is a very important task. We have two yellow Labrador Retrievers that I was hoping would become Isabella’s favorite playmates.  So, as a new parent I was interested in learning how I could make the transition into life with our new baby easier on our family pets. I hope the tips I share in this article will help make that transition much easier for your growing family.

Introducing your new baby to other siblings takes some planning, but don’t forget about your furry family members.  There is a lot that can be done to help ensure the whole family enjoys this event to the fullest.  Below you can find a condensed list of the recommendations for things you can do before the baby arrives from the Humane Society that is echoed by parenthood.com.

• Get your pet accustomed to spending less time with you.  Because your new baby will demand a lot of time and energy, you won’t be able to spend as much time with your pet.  A sudden, drastic decrease in attention coupled with frequent scolding of your pet after the baby comes home will likely stress your pet.
• Ensure your pet has a close relationship with a family member besides the mother-to-be. That way, the pet can still feel loved and provided for while mom is busy with the baby.
• Ensure your pets are current with their yearly exams, vaccinations, and are spayed or neutered.  Sterilization is particularly important because it tends to result in a calmer pet with less reproductive health issues.
• Consult with your veterinarian and pediatrician to resolve any concerns you have around your pets and the baby.  Resolving these problems early will ease your mind and smooth the transition.
• Ensure you have good control of your canine companion. Consider enrolling in an obedience training class with your dog if you have any specific issues or need better behavior.  Get help from an animal behavior specialist for any of the more difficult issues, for example a pet exhibiting fear and/or anxiety.
• Train your pet to remain calmly on the floor beside you until you invite him on your lap, which will soon cradle a newborn.
• Trim your pet’s nails regularly to minimize potential scratching.
• Ask friends with infants to visit your home to accustom your pet to babies. Remember to supervise all pet and infant interactions.
• Familiarize your pet with baby-related noises. For instance, play recordings of a baby crying or turn on the mechanical infant swing. Make these positive experiences for your pet by offering a treat or playtime.
• Apply double-stick tape to the furniture to discourage your pet from jumping on the baby’s crib and changing table.
• Block the entrance to the baby’s room with a sturdy, removable gate high enough to keep your pet from jumping over it. By doing this, you will teach your pet that the baby’s room is off limits.
• Talk to your pet about the baby, using the baby’s name regularly if you’ve selected one.
• Have your pet sniff baby’s blanket and toys so she becomes familiar with these new smells.
• Plan ahead and make sure your pet is cared for properly while you’re at the birthing center.
• Carry around a swaddled baby doll to help your pet get used to the real thing.

Becoming a new parent as you bring a baby into the world is incredibly overwhelming and hard work. It will challenge you in ways you’ve never been challenged before. Taking care of a new baby can be so all-encompassing that you have very little time to take care of yourself. Even simple tasks like eating and showering can get neglected; simple errands seem difficult to complete, and getting out on a date with your partner may seem an insurmountable challenge. Additionally, sleep deprivation makes everything harder: your problem-solving ability plummets, your memory fails you, your emotions see-saw all over the place, and patience is a rare commodity. In sharing this article we hope Itsabelly’s new parent tips on reducing stress after having a baby will help you navigate through the challenges ahead.

What can you do:

• Sleep whenever the baby sleeps. If you have friends or family come to visit, ask them to hold the baby while you take a nap.
• Make sure you have nutritious food in the house that doesn’t need to be cooked, and that you can hold in one hand while you hold the baby in the other. If friends or co-workers offer to help after the baby’s born, ask them to bring you foods that you enjoy eating.
• Bring a bouncer seat or a carseat into the bathroom with you so you can still get a shower, with the baby nearby (often the sound of the water will lull a baby to sleep.)
• Be gentle with yourself: if the house isn’t as clean as you normally keep it, try not to stress about it; if you’re not making progress on any of the projects you had planned for “quiet times” at home, stay relaxed.
• Try to let go of “rules”: shoulds, always, and nevers. For example, “she can’t possibly be hungry again, I just nursed her” or “I’ll never get any time to myself again” or “I should be getting more done, or I’ll always feel out of control.” Stay in the moment: what can you do to make things better right now?
• Find peer support: There’s nothing quite like being around other people who are experiencing some of the same challenges you’re facing. Seek out other new parents. The resource list includes support groups, postnatal exercise groups, and parent education groups; there are also things like Gymboree, Kindermusik, baby swim classes, etc. Hanging out at playgrounds and chatting with other parents also helps. Being around other parents helps lighten the sense of isolation and overwhelming change for the parents. It also allows you to see lots of different babies and lots of different parenting styles, and come up with new ideas that may work for you and for your family.
• Call on friends or family before it gets bad. A friend of mine once told me: “after I had children, I could not imagine how anyone would ever want to abuse or hurt their child. I wanted to protect my child, I wanted to protect everyone’s children from harm. And yet… there were other moments when I totally understood why people abuse their children. When I was sleep-deprived, and hadn’t had a break to eat or to shower all day, and I felt like I had no resources left, and my baby was screaming and screaming and I had no idea what to do, I would sit and rock back and forth crying, not able to come up with any solutions. Somehow hitting the baby almost seemed like a reasonable action… nothing else I had tried had worked, in those moments of desperation, it almost seemed worth seeing if maybe hitting would.” She didn’t hit her child. She called friends and asked for help. When she first called, she wasn’t able to tell her friends how she was feeling. All she did was invite them over to visit her and the baby, and just having them around helped. Later on, she was able to talk more about her feelings.
• Try it. If there’s something that you enjoyed doing before baby was born, and you don’t know if you can do it with baby, just give it a try to see what happens. The worst that happens is it fails… and you try again some other time. For example, if you love movies, try going in the middle of the day when it’s cheap and there’s not many people to disturb. If you’re lucky, baby will sleep right through. If you’re not quite so lucky, you may just have to leave the theater once or twice. And if it’s just disastrous, accept that it didn’t work out that day, and you can always try again some other time.
• Find quality time with your partner. New babies put a lot of strain on marriages and relationships. When the baby has so many immediate needs, it’s often easy to put off meeting your own needs, and meeting the needs of your partner. It’s important not to let this develop into a long-term pattern. Try to find quality time with your partner each week, whether that’s a “date” or just a few minutes of snuggling and conversation at some point in each day.

Do you find it funny that as a new mom the fashionable purse that you carried all of your goodies in has now become the sack of diapering doodads that keeps you sane for when baby erupts? From diapering tools to pacifiers, your purse really isn’t “your” purse anymore. After having my baby, I found that my fashionable purse was quickly exchanged for the diaper bag of necessities. And the words “never leave home without it” rang loud and clear anytime I stepped a foot out my front door! My mommy essentials take up the bare minimum and have whittled down to keys, cell phone, ATM card and lip gloss. The rest is all for my little bundle of joy!

What’s in your diaper bag? Anything unique you think a mom or dad should carry?

Tips:

• Your diaper bag’s contents will evolve from the newborn stage ,solid feeding stage to toddler stage
• Some moms will carry much smaller bags with a few essentials during quick errands, fitting a bottle, 1-2 diapers, few wet wipes, pacifier, cell phone, keys, lip gloss
• A “nice to have” is a small size camera to capture special moments

Diaper Bag Must-Haves:

• Diaper Bag – choose one with big pockets, zippable pockets, good storage space, insulation, easy to clean, waterproof, changing pad
• Pacifier (aka binky or soothing tool) – for soothing baby if your baby uses one
• Baby Bottles & Baby Food
• Disposable Waterproof Mats – These are paper thin and you can plop a couple in your bag for easy diaper changing when you need somewhere waterproof to place baby on top on (ex. in the car). You can re-use them so they go a long way!
• 2 Cloth Diapers w/ Wet Bag
• Cloth Wipes Container w/ Spray
• Spare Clothes for Baby
• Reusable Baggies – are handy to hold soiled clothing
• Diaper Rash Cream
• Small Bottle of Hand Sanitizer
• Baby Toys
• For Mom: a little pouch with keys, hand lotion, lip gloss, small mirror/powder compact, cell phone, Advil, mints, few $$ for Starbucks in a small wallet

Who said going out with your sweetie on a date night would never happen after having a baby? Well, I believe going out on a date night is a must to keep your relationship strong and friends are bound to invite you out to a special event. So, it’s definitely in your best interest to find a good babysitter if you don’t have mom or sis to help out. 

If you’re a new parent how do you find the best babysitter to take care of your child?  Itsabelly Baby Planners has helped many new families find babysitters and nannies. Here are some of our key tips to finding someone you’re comfortable with and trust with your child.

The American Red Cross does not provide certified babysitter referrals however parents have several options to locate a babysitter in their area:

1. One option is to locate the nearest Park and Recreation center and ask if parents can post a notice looking for sitter.
2. A second option is to take out a personal ad in the high school newspaper at the school located nearest you.  Check with the career counselor as parents can often place a notice on their job board.  Sometimes, this same option works well at the middle school level.
3. A third option is Sitter City or eNannySource.com. Parents can look at the number of sitters registered in their zip code area for free; but it will cost the parent to access the sitter information.

• Ask Around – Ask neighbors, friends, other moms if they know of a good babysitter or nanny
• Check Ads – Babysitters post ads on community boards in churches, libraries and sites like Craig’s List
• Post an Ad – Use sources like Craig’s List, Sittercity.com or go to your local college/university and post on their job opening board
• Prepare for the Interview – prep your list of questions.  Run a background check if the sitter has professional experience as a nanny.  Do reference checks.
• Arrange a meeting or practice babysitting session with the sitter and your children

My daughter was finally potty trained at 2.5 years old and it was a long, drawn out process. I tried everything and even swore I would NEVER do the M & M candy bribery but I gave into sugar! That didn’t even work. What did work was my persistence, extreme patience and allowing her to find her own way (after a bit of prepping of course). After a while, she knew what needed to happen when but it was a battle trying to get her to go. Never the less, the day did come and we finally graduated to big girl underwear! In the end, I collected some great tools and tips that every parent should consider. If you’ve gone through the potty training school of hard knocks and have some words of wisdom to share please don’t be shy – share them here.

Potty Training Tools:

• Potty Book or Potty Doll
• Toddler Toilet Seat Cover and/or Small Potty
• Step Stool
• Big girl or boy underwear
• Night time training pants
• Reward System – stickers, potty chart, grab bag of goodies
• Waterproof covering for mattress (helps with bed wetting)
• Egg Timer – you can use an egg timer to set a routine

Potty Training Tips:

• You can start at 18+ months old or earlier but have realistic expectations
• If you start when baby is much younger than a toddler she should be able to sit down on her own for at least 10 mins without slouching or needing a prop
• You’ll want to train your child by age 3 especially if they are head to pre-school or daycare
• The average age to be completely potty trained is 2.5 yrs old
• Use praise not punishment
• Don’t ask “Do you want to potty?” instead tell her “Let’s go potty.”
• Have a routine – take her to the potty several times a day consistently (when waking up, after meals/snacks and before bed)
• Don’t force – make positive and as natural as possible
• Have her watch you (should be the same sex) so she can imitate you
• Small immediate rewards like stickers, potty chart are good motivators
• Have her choose her favorite big girl or boy underwear (ie. Dora)
• She should wear clothing that she can easily pull down to potty
• Teach good hygiene (how to clean private parts, flush and wash hands)

FREE: Potty Training Charts @ http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/CTGY/FREE-Potty-Training-…

I recently did a Baby Wearing TV segment offering tips to parents on how to choose a carrier. I was fortunate to be able to work with a baby carrier expert, Laurel of Bella Stella Baby http://www.bellastellababy.com/ who shared her valuable tips on baby wearing. In this post we’ve combined our information to give you a short and sweet summary of what to consider.

Please note that with the recent recall of Infantino sling carriers it’s vital that you understand how to wear your baby properly. Click here to see CPSC warning about slings.

Click here for sling safety tips check out Juvenile Products Manufacturing Association (JPMA).

If you have a baby wearing experience, tip or product you loved when carrying your baby please share it here!

Types of Carriers for Baby Wearing:

1. Wraps: Moby Wrap – Good for: newborns preemies, babies up to 20 pounds. Inexpensive, can hold a baby in every position imaginable, not as hard as it looks. The ultimate in comfort. Excellent for transitioning into new-motherhood. Wraps are the best option for someone with back problems. The biggest advantage is that you can fully spread the fabric out to fully distribute the weight of your babe across your entire upper body.
2. Pouches: Sprout Pouch – Good For: Babies through toddlers and quick jaunts in and out of stores etc. Lightweight and compact. They easily slip into a diaper bag when baby is not being worn. Dads often prefer the look of a pouch to a ring sling. Can be less expensive & a short learning curve.
3. Structured Carrier: Ergo Carrier – Good for: Bigger children (4 months and up) although infant inserts on models like the Ergo and the Beco make them useful (if not ideal) from day one.  Long trips, all day carrying and hikes. It is like a backpack that carries the baby either on your front or on your back. It fully supports the baby (not by the crotch as some carriers do – it holds him in a sitting position) so that both your hands are free . The Ergo carrier has a simple design and is easy to put on and put the baby into.

Things to consider When Finding the Best Carrier:

1. How old is your baby?
2. What position/s do you prefer to use when you carry your baby?
3. Do you have any physical problems that could restrict your choice?
4. What activities will you use the babycarrier for?
5. What type of babycarrier suits your personality?
6. What extremes of climate will you need to cope with?

Other things to keep in mind when trying on slings, pouches, and other carriers:

Keep an open mind

I often hear from parents “I don’t want that long thingy that you have to tie- I know I won’t be able to do it.” Just for fun, we have them try it on, and due to the comfort, ease of use (really!), versatility and great price, the “long thingy” almost always goes home.

Get fitted

A good carrier should hold your babe the way you do. Baby’s legs should be supported as if they were in a chair, with support all the way out to the knees. Babies should not be carried by the crotch in a bungee harness with their legs dangling. This is as much for the baby as for the wearer: when the baby’s weight is supported only by the crotch (not distributed throughout the bottom and thighs) a great deal of pressure is put on the still developing pelvic bone.

Those swinging legs are also challenging for your stomach and back muscles to stabilize, leading to prematurely tired (or injured) backs. Slings should fit very snugly, with the lowest part hitting just at the top of your hip; they should be spread out wide across the back and sit on the shoulder, not the neck. Baby should sit snugly against your body, without bouncing or swaying—very important as these motions will KILL your back!

Ring slings, structured carriers like Ergos and Becos, wraps and mei-tai carriers can all be adjusted to fit the wearer snugly.

Pouch slings, on the other hand, must be sized correctly to the wearer when purchased, so make sure you get fit properly.

Try before you buy

Spend some time trying your (well-fed and well-rested) child in a number of carriers. Walk around the block, if possible, to get a feel for how it functions in the real world.

Don’t give up

If your child doesn’t seem to like the carrier, try again later when everyone is in a better mood.

Assess the situation

A one-shoulder sling isn’t going to work for a three-hour excursion. For this kind of job, a two-shouldered carrier with hip support is called for.

Don’t skimp on quality

A carrier will be something you use every day. Get the right one for the job – your baby and your back will thank you!

I remember reviewing books like Baby Bargains, Consumer Reports and going to big box stores like BabiesRUs to test out car seats before Isabella was born. I had no idea that picking out a car seat and understanding how to use it was going to be like studying for a CPA exam! This is where I began my quest to pick the safest car seat and understand how to use it best to protect my little bean! Luckily, I was a research queen and didn’t mind the investigative work I had to immerse myself in. I also recently took the Child Passenger Seat Technician Certification course which allows me to install car seats correctly. I wanted to share how important it is to keep your baby well protected because motor vehicle crashes are one of the single greatest killers of Americans. For parents who want the quick and dirty low down on what to look for in a car seat (or infant carrier) and how to use it here’s what Itsabelly Baby Planners recommends. If you have any tips not mentioned here please share them with us!

• Make sure to test the car seat in your car before purchase. You want to make sure it fits appropriately in your back seat with the seat belt mechanism or latch system
• Check child seat ratings, recalls and Child Passenger Safety information on the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) site: www.nhtsa.gov
• Read product reviews for input from customers who have already used the car seat
• Remember the most expensive car seat with all of the bells and whistles doesn’t always equal the safest car seat
• Keep your baby in a rear-facing car seat in the back seat from birth to at least age 1 and 20 lbs or whatever the upper limits of the seat are from the manufacturer
• Do not buy a used car seat as you don’t know if it’s still under warranty, been through a crash or has been recalled
• Although we do not recommend using a second hand car seat if you are given a used car seat from a close relative you must make sure it’s not expired (find exp date on back of seat), not recalled and has not been in an accident
• Use the appropriate car seat for your baby’s height and weight at all times
• Use the car‘s safety belt or LATCH system to lock the car seat into the car. Your car seat should not move more than 1 inch side to side or front to back. Grab the car seat at the safety belt path to test it.
• Make sure the car seat is not reclined more than a 45 degree angle, so that baby’s head stays in contact with the seat and the baby’s airway stays open
• Find out where your airbags are. Never put a rear-facing car seat in front of an active airbag!
• Have your car seat installation checked at a local Safe Kids coalition by a Child Passenger Seat Technician who’s been certified to install car seats correctly at www.usa.safekids.org