When I was diagnosed with breast cancer I learned the importance of maintaining a medical checklist. I also learned how little I really knew about my health records and family history. I had to collect information quickly and document each step of treatment and medication.

This information is now carefully filed, and I have told my husband where to locate the information. Each time I visit a doctor and am asked to update my records I am better prepared. I learned that keeping medical records updated for each family member is important, especially when an emergency or major illness occurs.

What you need to record

Compile a permanent medical dossier for yourself and your children be prepared to bring it to doctors’ visits. Here is a list:

• A record of all allergies (environmental, food, medications, materials like latex)
• List of current medications, dosages and frequency taken
• Vitamins or supplements taken and dosages
• History of illnesses and surgeries and dates they occurred
• Family history of major illnesses

Preparing for your doctor’s visit:

Make sure you understand your health insurance plan and bring the necessary identification and paperwork. Here are some things you need to know before walking into the medical facility:

• Do you need a primary care physician referral to see a specialist? If a paper referral is required versus electronic (find out from your carrier), it can take several days to secure. Don’t what until the last minute.
• What is your co-pay for your initial consultations, doctors’ visits, surgery and medications?
• Do you have an out of network plan? If yes, how does it work and what are the limits and guidelines?
• How many medical opinions are required for any major treatment or surgery?
• Are second or third options covered by insurance?
• How are medical emergencies covered?
• Is coverage limited to your region, or can you seek treatment out of state?

Reading the fine print

Dealing with medical expenses and insurance paperwork for reimbursements can add stress at a time when you don’t need more. It is important to read the fine print and to keep every receipt filed.

Your insurance provider should generate an “Explanation of Benefits” (EOB) for every medical claim. The EOB tells you what the insurance carrier has paid the medical facility and what your personal financial responsibility is. Make sure that amount matches the actual bill the hospital or treatment center sends you to pay.

If you see something amiss on either the bill or the EOB, contact your insurance company immediately to inquire. Most insurance carriers allow ninety to one hundred and eighty days for patients to address and dispute claims. It is your right to appeal any claim

File yours and your family’s medical records in a secure place and tell your spouse or partner where they are kept in case he/she needs to step in as a heath care proxy to handle your medical paperwork if you are unable to manage it on your own.

A friend of mine complained about how overwhelmed she was at work and how she felt stressed and tired. She is self–employed like me, and sometimes I think you work even harder and longer hours when you work for yourself. I responded, “Give yourself a ten minute break each hour.”

Put Time on Your Side

There never seems to be enough time in the day when you are juggling family, work, community and social commitments, finances and myriad other activities that comprise your schedule. A friend taught me long ago to stop spending all my time on others and start saving time for myself. I took her advice and added a little “me time” every day.

It made a difference on my stress level. “Me time” can be a workout, getting your nails, visiting a friend, baking a cake or meditating…whatever it takes to make you unwind. It’s not being selfish; it’s taking care of your self. No one wants a stressed out parent or spouse, and you want to stay healthy for yourself and your loved ones.

“Me time” can be whatever time you can afford spend on yourself. But you have to make the time. If you don’t have an hour for the gym, take 15 to 30 minutes to stretch and exercise at home. Try taking ten minute breaks during the day to get up and recharge. A brisk walk outside will clear your head and rev up your energy at minimal cost.

Five Ways to Take Ten

It’s easier than you think. You just need to make the effort:

• If you work at your desk, take ten minutes to get up, stretch you body and touch your toes to relax any tension, tight shoulders and back
• Take a ten minutes to connect with someone: write a letter, send a card, or call a friend for a quick chat
• Take a brisk ten minute walk, even if it is only around the yard or down the street and back. Walking the dog is always good.
• Take ten minutes to apply moisturizing lotion to your face and body and just sit back, take a few deep breaths and roll your neck to loosen any tension before getting dressed or before bed
• Take a ten minute coffee or tea break and read something you enjoy….not work emails!

What’s your rush? Will it make that big of a difference? Taking ten minutes will.

Children learn from their parents. If you want your kids to eat responsibly take a look at what you are putting on your own plate. Make smart food choices a family affair and make it fun for everyone at the same time. Show by example that sensible eating is both a necessity and a pleasure.

Teach Farm to Table

Take your kids to farmers markets to learn about where food is grown. One of my favorite family outings in the summer was to the weekly farmers’ market to select fresh peaches, strawberries, green beans, summer tomatoes and just picked corn, some of my favorite foods today,

If you don’t live in near a farming community, or if your city does not offer farmers markets, buy fresh fruits and vegetables at the supermarket rather than canned. Post a calendar in the kitchen showing when fruits and vegetables are in season so your kids can learn when plant foods are at their freshest.

Cook together

Some of my favorite childhood memories include helping my mother cook. Usually this involved baking but also I mixed casseroles, sautéed vegetables and mashed potatoes. Helping my mother cook taught me about portioning ingredients and measurements and understanding what goes into preparing a meal.

Cooking together should be inclusive for both your daughters and sons. Some of the most popular chefs on food television are men, and their biggest fans are boys and men. Give everyone a kitchen assignment based on age appropriateness and skills.

Keep Healthy Snacks on Hand

Slice fresh fruits and vegetables and place in single serving snack bags. Mix dried fruits, unsweetened cereals, fresh or roasted unsalted nuts (unless there are nut allergies) and dark chocolate chips for an easy, delicious trail mix.

Spread nut butter on slices of apples, or, drizzle fresh honey if a child has a nut allergy. Sauté canned chickpeas in olive oil, salt and pepper for a toasty snack. Mix Greek yogurt with hot sauce for a low fat spicy dip, or mash with avocado, salt and pepper.

Make dining a family occasion

People have asked me my favorite childhood food memories. It was around the dinner table. My parents made dining out a family occasion and an adventure. We tried different restaurants and cuisines. I always chose dishes from the “adult menu” even if I couldn’t finish it all. I loved learning about foods of the world!

There were no separate kid menus or table. We didn’t eat in front of the television, standing up, or sitting in a car. There was no technology at the table; it didn’t exist. We sat and ate together and talked. Family meals are some of my favorite memories.

If your family meals are an enjoyable exchange, and the food is fresh, flavorful and nutritious, you’ve set more than a table. You’ve set an example that will make a long term impact on how your children will appreciate good food.

The only thing worse than having a doctor tell you that you have been diagnosed with cancer is telling your children. Just saying the words, “I have cancer” can make you choke. It took me two years to say the words without a struggle.

So how do you share the news calmly to the most precious people in your life?

Think age appropriate when you share the news. A younger child will digest the news differently from a pre-teen or teenager. You may choose to gather the family in a room together or tell each child separately.

Use language they can easily understand and keep the medical explanations simple. Let them know that everyone is a “team” and we are going to win the battle. Tell them you have a great medical team on your side to treat you.

Speak in a calm and reassuring manner. Practice in front of the mirror. It helps to have your spouse or partner with you when you break the news.

Tell them how much you need and value their support and that you will still and always be there for them. It will be a challenge to face and important to plan, prepare and allow for a little down time but never “away time” from their needs.

Allow time to answer their questions. If you are met with their silence, give them a chance to digest the information quietly and tell them you are available to talk at anytime..

Helping your family process the information

After receiving the news, some children may continue on with their daily activities but some may withdraw. Be observant to their behavior and any changes. You may want to inform their school guidance counselor(s)and to ask them be alert for any behavioral changes at school.

Allow your children to express themselves through creativity or physical activities- whatever it takes to get any rage or fear out of their system. Play games together, attend sporting events, movies or shows. Paint; craft, cook, read together; plant flowers- whatever it takes to make their surroundings fun and distracting.

Set aside quality time with your partner or spouse that does not involve “cancer talk” or finances. He/she will be facing your diagnosis as lover, caretaker, family provider and co-parent. That is a lot of weight to juggle. Be sensitive to this and to the fact he/she will need an emotional outlet.

Establish a communications policy

If you are choosing to keep your diagnosis quiet at work or among friends, tell your kids so they don’t share the news with friends. Explain how it is important to you that the news is kept just among family but that they are free to ask you questions and express their feelings with you.

Breaking the news and processing and managing the information is hard. Start with a communications plan that works for you and your family and stick with it to make it a little easier.

On June 13, 2013, the U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that companies cannot patent naturally occurring human genes. This landmark ruling is a giant step forward for women’s health because it breaks down barriers and opens doors for more accessible and affordable testing for the BRCA gene mutation.

Why Is BRCA genetic testing important?

We all carry BRCA1 and BRCA2, both naturally occurring human genes. However, a BRCA mutation, or abnormalcy, can lead to specific cancers. In women these include breast and ovarian cancer. While not all cancers are linked to the BRCA mutation, some women have greater risks.

If you have a family history of breast or ovarian cancer there could be a link to the BRCA gene mutation. The mutation is also more common in women of Ashkenazi Jewish heritage. While my family had no history of breast cancer, my father and grandfathers had prostate cancer and my grandmother had pancreatic cancer, both linked to BRCA gene mutation.

What the ruling means to women

The Supreme Court ruling allows more companies to offer BRCA testing. Until now Myraid Genetics has held a patent on the BRCA gene. The test cost thousands of dollars and was not always covered by health insurance unless a woman was at risk. I was already diagnosed with breast cancer when I took the blood test.

When my test came back positive I chose prophylactic surgery to remove my ovaries and Fallopian tubes and reduce my increased risk of having ovarian cancer. It was a day surgery and laproscopic with an incision in my belly button, so there are no scars.

The ruling means women have more control over management of their health. It means you can decide to take the test and understand your risks. If you test positive you can choose entering a surveillance program, prophylactic surgery or just be more vigilant about mammograms and breast self-examinations.

What it means to your family

Some women fear knowing if they carry the mutation because it can be passed down to your children. Other family members may also carry it and may consider taking the test. As a daughter I would want to know the answer. As a parent I would want to understand what I need to do to inform and protect my children.

Prophylactic surgery is an option but not a requirement although your doctor may recommend it. If you are of child bearing age, you need to decide if you plan to have more children before under going surgery to remove your ovaries. This is something to discuss with your Ob/GYN and a fertility specialist.

Knowing you carry the genetic mutation means you need to make some decisions about reducing risk and prevention. And it means you need to be more attentive about your managing your health. But as a woman and as a parent, shouldn’t you be doing this anyway?