The hustle and bustle of the holidays is here. For many of us the frenzy has begun- decorating, shopping, wrapping, holiday and school parties, baking, and overly excited children.  It can make for a stressful time of year.  I love the holidays and everything that comes with it- the Christmas music, decorations, holiday treats, family time, and special memories.

I have found that sometimes as parents we get so wrapped up in checking off our to-do list during this time of year and making sure we get every last gift our child begged for, that we forget what this time of year is all about.  We forget that it is a special time of year that allows us to make lasting memories with our children through holiday traditions, whether old or new.

The other day I asked my oldest son who is 7 what he likes most about this time of year. I knew he would say the presents, which he did, but I asked him to tell me the other things he liked.  He told me he liked decorating the tree, reading Christmas stories, baking cookies and hearing Christmas music.  It was then that I realized the special things we do with our family each year, either for Christmas or Hanukkah will be remembered by our children for years to come.

This time of year is also a time to make sure the excitement of getting gifts does not reinforce a message of “me, me, me” with our kids.  In order to combat the ulgier side of the holidays we do a few things in our house to reinforce the message of giving during the holiday season.  You may find these helpful:

1.  Give each child a short list of family members to either make something for or buy something small for.  (Often local churches have a kids sale and kids can go buy small items for a dollar or two) or let them go shopping with you and pick out small items for people on their list.  Explain to them, you may have to put something back if it is out of the price range.  This reinforces the message it is about giving.  We also bake cookies for friends and family. (explain giving does not have to cost money)

2. We buy clothing, food and gifts for families in need and deliver them.  I have my kids help select the items and wrap the items.  We talk about the many people in need of food, clothing and items and how we can help. We participate through our church, the school, and charity organizations to give to those in need.

There is no better way to spend your time over the Holidays, thinking of others and it is a great time to involve kids in helping others and thinking of others. You could invite an elderly neighbor over or go for a visit, buy gifts for those in need, bring food to the food bank or food drive, or any other giving service or gesture. Just remember to give and show your kids that the spirit of the season is about giving to others hare with them about the gift you have given to someone in need.

3. We take turns opening gifts on Christmas.  Each family member opens 1 gift and then waits until everyone else has opened a gift before it is his or her turn again.  This allows everyone to see what the rest of the family received, it slows down the present frenzy, gets kids more excited about each gift, not just the biggest one, and teaches patience and respect.

We also encourage our kids to play with the toy or gift they are given before opening another gift.  It lets them appreciate each gift.  We try and give the big gift last, so that the other gifts are just as important for a bit before being over looked by the biggest or most desired gift.

4.  The night before Christmas each person is allowed to open one small gift from the family.  It is a nice tradition and again reinforces patience and appreciation for everything we get even pajamas!

5.  If you are Christian and celebrate Christmas, a great idea I have heard is that each person gets 3 gifts (can still do stocking stuffers, a family gift, etc…) for the number of gifts baby Jesus is given by the three wisemen.  Setting a realistic number of gifts helps families to focus on what is important during the holidays and keeps parents from going overboard.

6. Another great idea is to give the gift of charity to someone you love.  Donate to Heifer.org, ChildFund.org, or WorldVision.org in the gift receiver’s name and get a card and booklet to give to the person.

This holiday season, consider letting your child help a family in need through one of the organizations that help children and families all around the world.  Organizations such as ChildFund, Heifer International and World Vision are all set up so you can choose what you would like to gift to a family and how much you will spend.  Options include giving livestock, to provide nourishment and income, educational materials, medical equipment, better homes and more.  Children can help choose chickens, goats or whatever you feel you can afford.  There are gifts for as little as $8 that will give family 10 chicks that will be a godsend to them.

This is such a valuable teaching lesson that you can impart to your children.  Let them think about the giving versus the receiving this Christmas season.

If we emphasize beauty of  the entire holiday season by spending time as a family, baking, listening to Christmas or holiday music,  giving to others, and sharing special family traditions, our children will learn to appreciate the spirit of the season of giving more than receiving.   We allow our holidays to be overly commercialized and often go a bit overboard on the number of gifts we get our children.

I hope you have a Happy Holiday and find moments to spend quality time with your family, make lasting memories, and teach a few things along the way!

Often as a parent we believe we are teaching our kids values that are important to us, yet we also want to give to our children.  I find that many times parents are shocked that their child had a break down at the store or temper tantrum about wanting a toy or goodie.  But what we sometimes forget is that we are teaching our children when we allow them to have, have, have or when we do not set boundaries and processes for them to succeed.

Here is a prime example.  I do not usually get my kids toys when we go to the store, but on occasion I have told them they could get something for $1 (treat or stickers, etc..).  Well after they had been given  a $1-2 goodie several times in a row and I did not give them something on the next trip to the store my kids had an all out tantrum .  The trip to the store was a nightmare.  I wondered why my children acted this way and then it hit me.  I was responsible for making them come to expect they would get a small goodie.  They had observed a pattern in my behavior and when my behavior changed without notice they broke down.  Once I realized what was happening, I was able to set new expectations and better behavior from my kids when we go to the store.  Are you wondering how I stopped the tantrums from our trips to the store?

With these 5 strategies any parent can use:

1. Set Clear Expectations before Entering any Store or Restaurant

Before going to a store with your child discuss what will happen during your excursion.  Tell him what you are going to the store for and what you are not getting.  For instance, if I do not plan to let them get anything I tell them so, and if we are getting a toy for a party I explain that ahead of time and tell them we are not buying any toys for them so that when we visit the toy aisle I have a clear understanding of why we are in their favorite section.

2. Create a Wish List for Your Child

If they ask for toys, games, other items I tell them lets write it down so they can decide if it is something they want to ask for- for their birthday or Christmas

If my kids ask for a toy or video game during the Fall, I tell my kids they should put their favorite gift ideas onto their Christmas Wish List.  I then proceed to tell them unless they are buying the item themselves, I am not buying any toys, games, etc… I also remind them it will not be long before Christmas arrives and they get presents.

I also explain that just because they have asked for a list of gifts does not mean Santa or their family will get it for them.  I tell them that Santa has many children to give gifts to and has to limit what each child is given.

3. Change Your Language

Our language, actions and attitude determine how our children will act when it comes to getting things they want.  If we want to promote a healthy respect for patience, an understanding of need versus want, teach kids how to delay gratification then is it important we teach them how to do those things.  One way we do that is by telling them how we are patient and delay buying things we need or want in our own lives.  It is also important that we talk to them about how to be patient and give them words and ways to do so.  I tell my children the following:

If you want that toy you can save your money and buy it once you have enough money or ask for it for your birthday or Christmas if it is really what you want.  I tell my kids to write it down and they can decide if that is really a toy, game, item they want.  Usually the item is the ‘toy de jour’ and tomorrow will bring a shiner or more enticing toy.

4. Create a Reward System for Great Behavior

Determine a reward system for your child’s behavior.  You may want a daily behavior chart, but if you want to encourage great behavior when you are at stores and restaurants create a reward system so that after 10 trips to the store or 1 month you will give them something or let them spend $1-5 for their exceptional behavior while shopping.  Once again this can also create an expectation you do not want to continue- but you have to weigh if it will allow your shopping trips to be more enjoyable and make giving them something on occasion worthwhile.

5. Give to Others Regularly

Talk to your child about some of the different types of Charities or groups that help others.  You might mention kids that have no family (orphans), people who may be lonely (nursing home), starving children, shelter animals, women and kids in shelters, kids with cancer, and so on.  Ask them who they would like to help.  If you can decide on a group, you can help organize a cookie sale or host a little party for the charity to raise money.

This will begin to show your child that there is more to the world than just them and their wants.

6. Create a Day of Giving in your House

Pick one day a week or month that will be our family day of giving.  Decide how you will give to a family member, someone you know or the community.  Plan to do something special that day for someone. For each Day of Giving, let each family member have a turn deciding how to give that day.  This will help your kids and family put the focus on others instead of material things and themselves.

7. Create a sense of Community in Your Home- Everyone Pitches In

It is so important that children learn how to live within a community.  Your household is a small community.  People within a community need to be active to keep the community working and looking good.  I encourage you to assign each family member jobs or chores in the home by explaining that everyone in this house pitches in and helps keep your house running.   My kids fold clothes, clean the bathrooms, help get the trash together, and set the table.  I explain how much work mom and dad have to do every day to keep up the house and those jobs, which I do with them, are the way they help pitch in to keep our house in order.

Even very young children can help with basic chores and often younger children are more eager to help.  Start off with giving each family member a weekly or daily job to do at home and then add to the list once the first job is getting done regularly.  Even most classrooms assign jobs to the kids in the class, such as calendar, door, trash, line helpers.  Embrace the idea of community and get your family to pitch in.

Remember changing your child’s attitude and behavior from Give me to a Giving way does not happen in a single day.  If it took months or years to reinforce that they get what they want it will take some time and consistency on your part.  Start with one idea and build from there.  Here’s to raising children with a giving spirit one lesson at a time.

Cheese puffs, chocolate cake, soda pop, and milkshakes- are these the things our little boys and girls are made of?

Do you remember the original Willy Wonka Movie? There is a scene where the winners of the Golden Tickets enter the fantastic world of Willy Wonka’s Factory to find every imaginable and unimaginable candy creation. Even the river is filled with melted chocolate. It is a place that every child’s favorite candy is within reach. But the kids that eat, and eat, and eat every sweet they pass, end up with a problem and are eliminated from the contest. The only boy left is the one with self control who follows the directions.

Now imagine being your child and going through every aisle in a grocery store and seeing all of the colorful and fun looking foods. Wow, I bet it is a bit like seeing all of those treats in Willy Wonka’s factory. A bit overwhelming for most kids at first glance. Who blames them- the colorful, fun shaped, sugary foods are very enticing.

Your child begs for the sugary cereal pops and frosted pop tarts and Sunny D Drink. What is a parent to do? Well we have to teach our kids about healthy food choices and how they affect our bodies. We have to be the adult and make sure we are serving healthy foods and on occasion offer them a reasonable treat.

Here are 10 tips to help you make healthier food choices for your kids and serve them age-appropriate food portions.

• Serve fresh (or frozen) fruits and vegetables at Every Meal
• Serve water regularly and limit the amount of milk and juice a child drinks each day
• Serve wheat or white wheat bread and brown rice or whole wheat pasta instead of White Bread or Rice.
• Buy healthier versions of the foods your child enjoys or save for an occasional treat. For example they sell strawberry yogurt with Dora and Diego on it with less sugar and no artificial food coloring or they sell organic yogurt- you can switch this out with the yogurt with more sugar and food coloring.
• Serve healthy and low-fat dips with fruits, vegetables and healthy snacks to encourage kids to eat more healthy foods.
• Talk to your kids about the benefits of eating healthy foods- it gives your body and mind energy, and helps you grow.
• Model positive eating habits to your kids- Show them how much you like a certain fruit or veggie or healthy meal.
  • We eat carrots and apples with peanut butter and when I am eating this snack I say, “Mmmm. My carrots and apples will help me make my muscles stronger” And I show them my arm muscle. It gets them excited to show me their muscles and they usually eat the veggie.
  • Another trick or game is to tell them what animal eats that food (ex. Monkeys eat Bananas so I ask, “Can we all pretend we are a monkey and eat a banana?”- kids love to pretend to be animals, so this is a fun way to introduce food and encourage them to eat it)

Quick Guide to Portions:

Your younger child does not need the same amount of food as your older child or as you do. A young child only needs a 1/3 or ½ of a sandwich. Especially if it is being served with a fruit, vegetable and drink to balance out the meal. There is a good rule of thumb you can follow to help you know the appropriate portion to feed your child below. The rule of thumb is to serve your child a Tablespoon per child’s age of each food/food group. So a 3 year old would get approximately 3 Tbs of a vegetable, a fruit, a protein, and a whole grain food to start with.

• Remember to account for the calories that dips, condiments, peanut butter, and drinks (juice, milk, etc) add to your child’s meal.
• Ideally each meal should provide 25-30% of your child’s daily calories for 3 main meals and the other 10-25% for 2 healthy snacks and drinks (low fat milk or 100% fruit juice w/ no sugar or sugar substitute added).

How Many Calories Should My Child Be Eating a Day?

• 2-3 – 1000-1400 calories/day
• 4-8 – 1400-1600 calories/ day

• Girls 9-13 – 1600-2000 calories/ day
• Boys 9-13 – 1800-2200 calories/day

• Girls 14-18 – 2000 calories/day
• Boys 14-18 – 2200 calories +/day

To give you an example of the calories in a commonly eaten food let’s look at a whole peanut butter and jelly sandwich:

2 Slices of Whole Wheat Bread- 240 Calories (120 per slice) 2 Tbsp of Natural Peanut Butter- 200 Calories 1 Tbsp of Jelly- 25 Calories Total = 465 Calories for 1 Whole PB & J

As you can see that would be almost ½ of daily calorie intake of a 2-3 year old for 1 sandwich. So it makes more sense to serve a few slices of apple, a few baby carrots and a portion of a sandwich to a young child.

Instead a 2 year old would get a ¼ of sandwich, a 4 year old a ½ a sandwich and an older child would get a whole sandwich.

As the parent, you have to learn to read labels and see how many calories, fat, protein, and fiber you are giving your kids regularly. It does not mean you have to think about it every day; you just want to have a basic understanding of what to serve your kids and how much so you can raise a healthy, fit and happy child. Of course there are plenty of times for the occasional treats, but we need to make that the exception not the norm.

For more information about buying healthier foods for your family click here:

For more information about Healthy Food Portions and Food Choices go to: Portion sizes and school age kids

Printable Portion Size Wallet Card

Encourage Your Kids to Explore, Discover, Experiment and be Creative

Do you remember what it feels like to sit on the ground and put your hands in the sand? Or how it feels when you swing as high as you can and look into the sky? How about what it feels like to imagine yourself as part of a pirate or mermaid adventure – to feel like you really are in a far away land?

Many adults seem to have lost that special gift. A child can imagine great worlds and can pretend that they’re a part of them. Kids get excited about digging for dinosaur bones and exploring a far away jungle, even if they are actually just in the backyard. And whether your child is pretending or exploring their world, they are also learning and growing along the way.

Yet, too often kids do not get to experience the wonder of the world around them. Instead, they are bombarded with television shows or commercialized TV characters. As parents we have an opportunity to encourage and develop our children’s sense of wonderment and curiosity.

Math and science were not my strongest subjects growing up and, because of that, I try to introduce simple and fun math and science experiences for my children. I am also aware that American kids are not excelling in science and math compared to the rest of the world and I think it is important to introduce our kids to the fun of science, math, art, and music.

After my kids had done a few science experiments, created a fun science potion, and made an invention, my kids began begging me to do a science experiment or invention regularly.

Ways to Keep the Magic Alive

• Make up an adventure – A pirate or mermaid adventure are favorites
• Play fun, silly music and other types of music (classical, jazz, etc)
• Let your kids play pretend and dress up (even boys play dress up-heroes, firemen, etc)
• Tell them stories and let them tell you stories about a subject they enjoy

Ways to Encourage Your Children to be Life Long Learners and Develop a Love for Science, Math and the Arts

• Give kids time to explore their world
• Buy them fun, educational gifts- microscope, telescope, science kit, instrument, art supplies
• Take your kids to children’s museums, art and history Museums
• Take your kids to musical or theatrical productions designed for young children.
• Encourage play with toys that let kids build structures and other creative things
• Make art and creative playthings available (paint, markers, play dough, clay)
• Let them take a class in something they are interested in (art, sport, music, airplanes)
• Encourage creative play and simple fun

I want my kids to love to learn. I want them to have a thirst for knowledge and to know they can learn to do anything they set their minds to.

I want my kids to discover their world and keep discovering it. I want them to know there will always be something new for them to uncover in this world – a place, a skill, book, an activity.

If you want this for your child, encourage and nurture their creativity, imagination, and exploration. Foster their curiosity by providing fun and educational toys, books and experiences they can learn from.

For more ideas about encouraging your kids to use their imagination, experiments and exploration visit www.ziggityzoom.com for activities and www.mommie911.com for articles.

What are you teaching your kids? You may be shocked to realize much of your child’s behavior, whether appropriate or not, is connected to how you parent.

Parenting is the toughest job you will ever have. What other job requires you to supervise, protect, teach, encourage, love, provide for, and use empathy, thoughtfulness, kindness, patience and creativity every moment of the day? It is a job that can be very trying but the rewards will fill your heart with each smile, laugh and, “I love you” that your kids return.

Parents often say, “I hope when my child goes off to college or moves out they make the right decisions.” Or “I hope they can take care of themselves.” What I would say to those parents is- it is the early lessons they learn from us that allow them to succeed in life.

First of all, the truth is that the earlier we start teaching our children important lessons and give them responsibility, the easier it will be to continue those lessons as our children reach their teenage years and approach their twenties.

If we want to raise a child that will be a responsible, productive adult, who can take care of themselves, we need to start paying attention to the messages we are conveying to our children even when they are very young. We also need to emphasize learning, having fun and allowing kids to explore their world, but we should begin introducing our kids to money management, teamwork, household responsibility, ownership and social cooperation.

Start Teaching Lessons Early

By the time your child is 2 you can have them help you with easy tasks around the house. When you are doing laundry, allow your child to help you. Let them help carry the clothes or put them in the dryer or help you pour the detergent in the washer. It is fun to help mom at that age and without even saying anything you are starting to lay the foundation for teamwork, cooperation and household responsibility.

Even my 18 month old helps clean up toys and throws a tissue in the trashcan for me when I ask. You can see the sense of pride at having accomplished the task when he runs back to me after throwing the trash away. As your child gets older, you will want to add the amount of help or chores they do around the house. Children need to be given more responsibility as they get older and they need opportunities to learn what to spend their money on.

Two Guiding Principles for Raising a Child to Succeed

Of course, your primary concern is providing your kids with love, respect and the necessities but beyond those, these principles will help you raise independent children that will learn to take care of themselves and the world around them.

1. Language- What you Say is What You Get

It is important to be aware of the language we use when talking about housework, yard work, chores, money, helping others, and teamwork. We are our children’s first teachers and we have an opportunity to teach them throughout life if we honor that responsibility and privilege with respect. We may not feel like doing laundry or dishes, or vacuuming or saving money, but if you are positive or explain the necessity of those chores and saving to our kids, as they grow, they will be more likely to help with important work around the house. If you want your kids to do chores as they get older, be mindful of how you approach the chores.

2. Be Consistent with Your Discipline, Teaching, and the Messages You Convey

Consistency is one of the most important things in parenting. It is so easy not to be consistent but children actually feel more secure when there is a consistent message to our parenting and, amazingly, their behavior usually reflects it.

Kids Need to Learn Patience and Delayed Gratification

It is so important for kids to learn that everything does not happen right when they want it to. It is also important that they learn they do not get a toy just because they want it. An important lesson to work on with your kids is teaching deferred gratification and patience.

I learned my lesson with this principle. When I would go to a store like Target, on occasion I would buy something that only cost a dollar for my kids. Well, after doing this 2 or 3 times, I realized when I did not buy them something they threw a royal fit and acted like possessed children. I was shocked and embarrassed. I realized I had broken the cardinal rule – do not let them think they are entitled to get something for no reason.

I thought it’s only a dollar. My kids thought, we get something every time we go to the store because mom said it did not cost very much. As soon as I realized I had caused this problem I worked to fix it and within a week or two it had been resolved.

If you are wondering how I stopped the tantrums and begging it is simple. Before going into any store, I explain to my kids why we are going to the store, what we are getting, and I explain if I am getting anything for them (usually I am not unless it is for a special reason).

The other thing I do is tell them when they see something they want, that they can save their money and buy it once they have enough money or they can wait until their birthday or Christmas and ask for it and maybe they will get it if that is really what they want.

Once I was consistent with my message, my explanations and my actions, the kids behavior improved because I reinforced my rule and, in the process, my kids are learning about delayed gratification and patience.

Kids Need to Learn How to Handle Disappointment

Many parents focus on providing everything for their child. Every opportunity, every new toy or product, but it is actually very healthy for your child to learn how to handle disappointment. I am talking about an experience in life that does not go their way. It is an opportunity to coach your child, to listen and reassure them and explain that sometimes things do not work out the way we want them to. A good example of an appropriate disappointment is a child’s soccer team losing a game or your child having to miss a birthday party or not being able to take riding lessons.

I am not suggesting you purposely create disappointment for your child. I am merely explaining that disappointment is part of life and that, if we have small doses of it as we grow up, kids will be mentally able to handle these situations as they grow into adults. Be aware and sensitive to your child’s disappointments, but do not try and make up for the disappointment, just listen to them and talk through it and give them hope for a different outcome next time.

It is Your Responsibility to Teach Them Life Lessons Everyday

I know many parents who spoil their kids with every toy or outfit, or new gadget they want. I also know parents who usually give in to their child’s request to eat something else or stay up late. There is a time for bending the rules, but in everyday parenting we need to remember we are the adults, we make the rules and we need to help guide our children in the direction we want them to go.

We need to provide them with the information and practice in making smart decisions, learning to work with others; learning to save for important or necessary purchases and that sometimes life closes a door in front of us. These lessons will teach them that we work hard to open another door and to walk through with confidence and strength.

We all know about the importance of fitting exercise into our daily lives. However, millions of Americans still do not get exercise regularly. With the obesity epidemic all around us, it is time for every parent to take healthy steps to get or keep their kids eating healthy and moving their bodies.

You are the parent and you are in charge. Help your kids eat right and be fit, by providing healthy snacks and meals, by limiting the amount of empty calories or junk food they consume, and figure out a way to get them moving for an hour every day (or as much as you can).

Use Words to Encourage Your Kids to Move Everyday

It is not uncommon for one of my boys to say, “Look mom, I’m exercising” or for someone else to say, “Is this exercising?” as they hop around the house or do a jumping jack.

Kids are naturally busy. They have spurts of energy throughout the day. It is usually obvious when your kids need to get moving because they start jumping around the house, or climbing on furniture or each other. Try to get your kids outside or doing some activity before their energy takes over. Take them outside to play and run around or do a fun indoor activity that involves movement.

• Tell your kids, “Your body was made to move around.”
• Talk about strong bones and building muscles
• It is important to talk to your kids about eating healthy foods and getting exercise to have a strong growing body.

Make Moving Your Body Fun

It is very easy to get kids to move around and burn off energy. Just stay conscious of the need to move your body and theirs. Plan a time when everyone goes outside for an activity or think of an indoor activity to get them up and moving.

• Go outdoors
• Ride bikes
• Play hide and seek
• Swim
• Play a game/ hopscotch
• Hopping lily pad game
• Bowling
• Obstacle course (in/out)
• Relay race or sprints
• Red light, green light or simon says
• Soccer, basketball or baseball

I even do little games with my kids just to break up the day and get more physical activity into a cold or rainy day. I will start doing an easy exercise and after a minute I will say, “How many bunny hops can you do?” and then, “Let’s see if we can all hop for 2 minutes.”

I tell my kids every day its time to, “Get Outside and Move Our Bodies” It is important for you to make physical activity a part of your child’s day. If you think about it, it is often television, computers or a video game that keeps our kids sitting down. If you turn off the tv and video games, kids will naturally move their bodies. So make sure to limit their viewing or playing time and encourage board games, pretend play, art, or physical exploration and play.

Be a Good Role Model for Your Kids – Let Them See You Move Your Body Everyday

Let your kids see you moving or exercising. You can accomplish this through a walk, or gardening, doing stretches, lifting weights, jumping rope or just being silly and doing a game like Simon Says or races with your kids.

My husband and I often do short races across the backyard with the kids. Sometimes we win and sometimes they win.

Sometimes, I do little things like lifting the laundry bag up and doing curls 10 times and I say, “Look how strong I am.” And, as you know, kids like to copy.

There really is no excuse for not adding some type of physical activity into most of our days. If we make exercising a priority, then the kids will take notice and realize it is something important we should all do. Can you commit to adding in physical activity to your day and your kids’ day-even if it is only for a few minutes?

Get Your Child Involved in a team Sport or Activity

A team sport is a great way to introduce your kids to a physical activity and a team environment. There are many benefits to signing your child up for a sport involving physical activitiy. It helps them follow directions, teaches a set of rules, it rewards them for physical effort and teaches the value of working our bodies and it teaches team work, while helping kids feel a part of something and improves self-esteem.

A few good team or physical sports are: Soccer, T-ball, Dance, Gymnastics, Basketball, Baseball, Tennis, and Karate.

For ideas to get your younger kids up and moving with Look and Find and other activities, check out the Get Up and Get Moving Activities at ZiggityZoom.com

Check out http://www.mommie911.com for Fun Activities for Kids. There is a list and links to Youth Sports Organizations.

Do you and your kids fit in some form of moving your bodies most days? What do you or your kids do to get moving and fit? Are you willing to fit in little spurts of movement? What ideas or stories can you share with us about getting your kids Up and Moving?

Dinner time with kids can often be chaotic. I am a parent with 3 young children, a busy household, work and extracurricular activities, and I know it can be a challenge to get dinner on the table, make it healthy, keep my kids occupied and keep myself sane through dinner preparation, dinner time and cleaning up. To help our family get through dinner time we use a few strategies to engage our kids, have fun, and enjoy our family time.

It is easy to get flustered and focus on getting your kids to eat, not to mention to have a moment to stuff food in your own mouth, while trying to stop catastrophic spills and messes from happening. But there is a way to make dinner time a family time that you and your kids love.

You can get your kids to calm down, eat their dinner and be polite, with a few simple ideas.

First, stick to, or create, a dinnertime routine. For example, have your older kids help set the table or get everyone drinks, and then when dinner is served everyone can sit down. Next, if you have your kids help you make the meal, they will be very excited to taste the food, even if it has ingredients they usually don’t eat. Get them involved with the meal (a theme or 1 dish wonder or playing a game). If you tell a story, or play a game during dinner, set up rules that kids have to follow in order to play (sit quietly, eat bites of food, stay seated and so on).

Play a Game during Dinner

At first it might seem that the dinner table is the absolute worst place to play during dinner. But with kids the goal is to get through dinner without a melt-down, everyone eating some of their food and to spend time together as a family. There is a place for conversational, formal-type dinners, but I do not think that helps to keep your kids, especially young ones, engaged at dinner time. Set some rules so that everyone knows they must be sitting in their chair and continuing to eat while the game is played. Here are a few Game ideas.

• Name Something that Is: Color, Shape, Food grown in ground, on a tree, or any other group or things.
• I Spy: Play the usual I spy game but everyone has to be able to see it from their seats.
• What Is It? Someone says 2 to 3 clues and each person takes a turn guessing what it is. (ex. do animals or foods that are easy for kids to guess).
• 20 Questions: Guess the Animal (Does it live in the water? Does it have wings?)
• Tell a Story: Let everyone add to the story, or take turns telling stories.

Themed Dinners

Kids love to make things up and to be a part of something fun. Think of the type of food you want to make and create a theme around it that your kids will love. Some ideas are:

• Fiesta – a Mexican Feast – tie in favorite foods or character, i.e. Dora or Diego
• Camping Out- grill out or just have foods from a camping trip- hot dogs, beans, etc (or veggie hot dogs).
• Beach Bash- have seafood (fish, crab meat, scallops, or other beachy items)
• Picnic in the Backyard- make an easy pasta salad, cut up fruit and a few other easy items and pack it up and take it out back or to the park
• King or Queen for a Meal or Throw a Royal Feast- Let your kids wear a special hat and give them a few healthy meal choices to pick for their royal treatment and add a special royal treat at the end.
• Opposite or Reverse Day– Why not serve breakfast at dinner-time? Kids love to do something different and special, so make breakfast at the end of the day. Serve whole wheat pancakes, eggs and fresh fruit. Often breakfast or lunch foods are easy to make, so on a night when you are in a hurry this is an easy and fun option. You can let your kids help stir the batter or sprinkle veggies or cheese on the eggs.
• Shapes and Colors Meal- Have your kids help you plan a meal with foods that are all the same color or the same shapes. It is a fun way to try new foods when they are combined with favorites (ex. serve grapes with a new green veggie or strawberries with red pepper slices). What a great way to talk about shapes, colors, similarities and differences.

1 Dish Wonders and No Utensils

What child does not love to use their hands when eating? Make an easy, healthy version of your family’s favorites that are a special treat to eat and do not require their utensils. Make a mexican dish that has rice, beans, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and serve with whole grain chips or make nachos (use healthy chips, low-fat cheese, put some beans and chicken and veggies on top) so that they can use chips or whole wheat pita wedges instead of utensils and you have instant fun!!! Kids love dipping and it is a treat to get all of your food in 1 dish, instead of a separate fruit, veggie, protein for a change.

Give Your Kids a New Printable Activity before Dinner

One way to keep your kids busy right before dinner and to help them wind down is to give them an activity at the table that will only take a short time to finish. Many websites have free coloring or printable activities. ZiggityZoom.com is one of them. Dinnertime printables: For coloring pages, click here. For Printable Placemats and other items, click here.

Don’t be afraid to be silly with your kids. Relax and enjoy the time you have with your kids. Our kids sense when we are frustrated or immersed in our own thoughts or when you are distracted and not giving them your full attention. If you need a cue to snap out of the business of the day and re-engage with your kids, just give your body a good shake or brush the stress from your shoulders and say- “Hey, Lets Have a Great Family Dinner.”

Reengage. Have Fun. Tell Stories and Play Games. Your kids will remember dinner time as their favorite part of the day for a lifetime and so will you when they are grown. Remember, this time may be hectic, but it is up to you to make it something more than racing to finish your meal and wash the dishes. It is about reconnecting with your spouse and kids and a time to slow down for a half an hour. Remember what is important and dinners will be much calmer and a lot more fun for everyone.