… when naming your sons.

A new study has found that boys with unpopular names are more likely commit crimes than boys with popular names.

True, the idea that a name can have lifelong implications is not new.  But the idea that these study results should be used to “identify individuals at high risk of committing or recommitting crime, leading to more effective and targeted intervention programs” (so say the researchers) is completely disturbing.  Isn’t that profiling?  Expecting the absolute worst of someone based on an absolute intangible, something he has no control over?

I vote for strengthening families, fighting poverty and building communities instead.

Ok, well I don’t hate reading; I happen to LOVE it!  Reading, in fact, is one of my all-time favorite past times.  But far too many boys hate reading.

According to the research:

• boys take longer to learn to read than girls  (Interesting note:  According to Why Gender Matters, the area of the brain that handles language develops, on average, SIX YEARS later in boys than in girls)
• boys read less than girls
• boys don’t value reading as a leisure activity
• the older a boy gets, the more likely he is to consider himself a “nonreader”

Now, two young boys have capitalized on boys’ almost-universal dislike of reading.  Ten-year-old Henry Bacon and his brother, twelve-year-old Arthur Bacon, have written a book, I Hate Reading: How to Get Through 20 MInutes a Day of Reading Without Reading.

The book was born — obviously — of their dislike for the 20 minutes a day their school required them to read.  And while the book itself is funny, the story behind it is not.  Two bright boys — who were so disenfranchised with the idea of forced reading that they wrote a whole book about how not to do it.

I’m not a fan of forced reading.  I’m not a fan of forced anything.  I much prefer to let children come to what interests them, and to give them the time, freedom and opportunity to explore those interests.

In the case of reading, that may mean waiting until they’re ready.  That may not be possible if your kids are in public school, but even so, consider the developmental science.  Most boys’ brains are not ready to handle reading in kindergarten, and forcing them to do so before they’re ready only leads to feelings of frustration and inadequacy, which can later turn into — you guessed it — a hate of reading.

Work with your schools, if you must, to promote developmentally appropriate curriculum.  And in your own home, provide an array of reading materials.  Boys, far more than girls, prefer comic and non-fiction books.  Stock your house with magazines, comics (even the Bible comes in comic form now, and there are plenty of comic-style history books), and all kinds of non-fiction.  In the meantime, read aloud, anything your boy wants to hear.  I personally am sick of reading Bulldozer over and over, but my three-year-old loves it, and I’m determined to keep his love of books alive.

Playing games is a big part of our homeschool.  Our latest fascination is Qwirkle, a match-the-colors-and/or-shapes game that involves more than a little Scrabble-like strategy.  It’s the perfect game for a multi-aged household:  younger kids can enjoy simply handling and sorting the colored blocks (while learning their shapes and colors), while older children and adults develop strategy and critical thinking skills in a fun environment.

A great game, for me, is one that meets 4 criteria:

1)  It’s fun

2)  It’s simple to learn

3) It’s educational (but not overtly)

3) Set-up and clean-up is quick and easy.

Qwirkle meets all 4 criteria.

I’m willing to make some exceptions, of course — I love playing Life, Monopoly and Risk.  But these games are not quick to set-up and play, so alas — we don’t play these games nearly as often as the boys would like.

Think, for a minute, about all the skills boys learn from board games.  Counting.  Sharing.  Colors.  Adding, subtracting and multiplying.  Spelling (Scrabble).  Specific facts, depending on the game.  My boys love a game called the Lewis and Clark Adventures game (all about the Lewis and Clark expeditiona) and Scrambled States, about United States geography.

Disney has compiled a list of 5 classic board games for boys.  Take a look and then tell me:  What are some of your favorites?

Here in Wisconsin, we’re waking up to below 0 weather.  -2 degrees Farenheit, to be exact.  Add in wind chill, and it feels more like -13.  If we’re lucky, it might get all the way to 12 today.

Weather like this is not exactly conducive to outdoor play.  And when boys have been cooped up in a house too long, watch out!  That physical energy has to go somewhere.

My five-year-old son has figured out an innovative way to deal with cabin fever.  He climbs walls.  Literally.

For the longest time, he’s been able to climb one side of a door jamb by grabbing on to either side of the wall with his hands and using his hands and feet to shimmy up like an island native climbing a coconut tree.  Now, however, he’s figured out a new technique.  He stands just inside a doorway and spreads his legs, so that his feet are touching both door jambs, one to a side.  He spreads his arms out overhead — again, reaching out to both sides — and uses his arms to steady himself.  Then he “walks” his feet up the door jambs, using the friction of his feet and his incredible balance to stay in place.

It’s not exactly a typical indoor activity, but you know what?  It keep him happy, active and healthy.  Staying physical indoors when the weather boxes you in is a challenge, but think outside of the box.  Try letting the kids slide down the front stairs, or race around the house.  Strap cardboard to their feet and let them “skate” on the carpet.  Plan a scavenger hunt.  Build a fort.  Have an old-fashioned pillow fight.  Let them jump on the beds and stage dance contests in the living room.

And when it’s time to unwind, remember that boys are also highly tactile.  Playdough has long been a favorite in my house.  My eight-year-old likes to sculpt creatures and cars, while my three-year-old LOVES to run his little cars and trucks over  “roads” he makes in the playdough.  Here, then, is my all-time favorite playdough recipe:

Fruity Playdough

2 1/2 cups flour (plan to add much more when mixing and kneading)

1/2 cup salt

2 packages dry unsweetened drink mix (Koolaid, etc.)

2 cups boiling water

3 Tablespoons cooking oil

Mix dry ingredients together in a bowl.  Mix liquids together and pour into dry ingredients.  Stir until mixture forms a ball.  At first it will appear as if it will never make a smooth playdough mixture.  Add more flour if necessary.  As the mixture cools and becomes less sticky, take it out of the bowl and knead until smooth, adding flour until it reaches the right consistency.

This recipe makes A LOT of playdough — perfect for a family!  Store it inside a sealed plastic container (think an old margarine tub) and it’ll last for months.

My boys (ages 3,5, 8 and 11) fight constantly.  Don’t believe me?  Check out this excerpt from my article in the January – February issue of Home Education Magazine:

Battles are part of our daily existence. Some are imaginative recreations of light saber battles or elaborate pirate swordfights. Others are purely physical explosions of energy (think wrestling on the living room floor). Still others are verbal, the natural tendency of boys to one-up each other. Whether it’s handstands of fishing, countning or singing, whatever one of our boys can do, another claims he can do it better. Then, of course, there are the disagreements: Who gets to use the computer first. What channel to watch on TV. Whose turn it is to feed the cats.

My husband reassures me that fighting is a perfectly normal part of being a boy, but I just don’t get it. I, of course am a woman. I’ve never felt the need to tackle someone, just because he was nearby. And so I worried. After all, I want my boys to grow up to be productive members of society, and productive members of society don’t wrestle each other at the first sign of a disagreement.

Then I read Why Gender Matters, a ground-breaking book by Dr. Leonard Sax. Boys, he writes, fight a lot –in fact, boys fight 20 times more than girls, according to one psychologist who spent a year observing elementary schoolchildren at playgrounds. But the fighting doesn’t seem to be destructive. The same psychologist found that boys who fight each other usually end up being better friends after the fight.

It turns out that human boys are not the only young mammals with a proclivity toward physical violence.  Primatologists (scientists who study apes and monkeys) have long known that young male primates are far more likely to fight than young females. Some of this tendency towards physical aggression appears to be training for adults roles; among primates, males are far more likely to hunt and kill prey than females.

But it seems the aggression is also an important part of socialization, at least for males. Wrestling and fighting with other males teaches them the rules of the game, writes Dr. Sax.  “If young male primates are deprived of the opportunity to fight with other males, those males grow up to be more violent as adults, not less.

Looks like there’s some hope for my boys after all.