Hi, my name is Janet Milhollin and as Jenna’s aide, mentor, and friend I can only scratch the surface when it comes to telling you about all the things Jenna and I have learned from each other over the last 17 years.

Having never heard about autism, and certainly never having working with a child who was autistic before I met Jenna, I had a lot to learn in a short amount of time. One of the first things I learned was Jenna needed to feel safe in her environment and it was my job to help make that happen. There is much noise and confusion in a kindergarten classroom. Most kids have adapted to all that is going on, but I quickly learned that this extra stimulus caused great fear in Jenna and we learned together how to handle these situations so she could participate and thrive, but not feel threatened.  As Jenna got older, we would go to other places like McDonalds and grocery stores so she could experience them.  New places can be scary for any of us, but with Jenna’s extra challenges, her bravery throughout these situations has always amazed me.

Since second grade, when Jenna learned how to use a computer keyboard to get all her pent up words out of her head and down on paper, she has continued to amaze me with the beauty and eloquence of her words.

Over the years, I’ve become more skilled in talking in a gentle and soothing voice, listening with my heart and seeing the world through Jenna’s eyes.  Jenna and I have both learned a lot about trust, tenacity, and patience, but most of all about tolerance, acceptance for a person who may look or act differently from you but still deserves to be heard and understood. A person who may not be able to talk, but still has a lot to say.

Somewhere in my mental library, amongst the countless chapters and shelves, is the memory of standing in the hospital with my dad. I had just become a sister. My life had changed, and it would continue to be shaped by this little girl we named Jenna. Over the years we slowly found out this girl who didn’t know how to talk had a lot to say.

With the help of her amazing aide, Janet, our lives became enriched with these beautiful, hilarious, and unique tales that Jen had to tell. Now I can only hope others will be able to read the stories and find out that autism isn’t necessarily a burden, but something different that we all can learn from.

Being the sister of someone with autism has taught me so much, and I always wish I knew others with an autistic sibling because every case is different. Sharing stories and trying to remember the funny things that come from the strange ways of autism always seems to heal any wound. I have found so many things to be thankful for above any negative aspect of autism. The path to outside understanding is a steep one, but as long as you have your family there to laugh through it with you, it is the only thing that really matters in the end.

As one of six children, I credit my parents with always supporting each one of our individual skills, talents and interests. Two people who came from hardscrabble backgrounds, through example, taught me how to nurture and pursue my desires. As Hillary Clinton said, “it does take a village to raise a child” and it is my privilege to have Jenna, her sister Lauren, and their mother Linda, in my family of women. I am proud to carry on a family tradition of support and action by producing “Worried Wendy Goes to School“, and now the second Wendy tale.

Jenna and I started emailing each other about eight years ago after a visit when we shared a quiet moment of eye to eye contact and a hug.  She truly moved my heart. We discovered a similar sensibility in our thinking about life and being in the world. Through our weekly, and sometimes daily, emails and her poetry, writing, courage, humor, intellect, and love, Jenna inspires me every single day to do be the best person I can be and to aspire to dream.

And now, through her books and her personal story, I know Jenna can inspire others to do the same.

Learning that your child has any kind of disability is difficult.  It takes time to absorb the information that you receive from your specialists and to move forward the best that you can.  I have tried to educate myself about autism by attending seminars and reading any information that becomes available.  It can become so overwhelming that you need to step back and reevaluate your life, as well as your child’s life.  At one point I was so obsessed with trying every “cure” and therapy that I left my own life behind.  I was sure that something would be the key to bringing Jenna out of her autism.

I had many disappointments along the way but I learned a lot about myself and my daughter.  When I came to the realization that I loved her just the way she was, things seemed to fall into place.  She was this wonderful human being with so much to offer the world.  Why would I want to change that?  It felt as though the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders and we have all been able to move forward in a positive direction.  Don’t get me wrong, life isn’t perfect, nobody has a perfect life, but we can all find joy in the people we love.

If I could give any advice to parents with disabled children it would be to try and find balance in your life, as well as your family.  Jenna needed to have reasonable expectations for her life.  When she was able to accomplish one goal then we would set another.  I must admit that they always seem like “baby steps”, but it all adds up eventually.  When you take one day at a time the overwhelming task of caring for, and educating, a child with autism can be very rewarding.

Salman Rushdie once wrote, “Books choose their authors, the act of creation is not entirely a rational and conscious one.” In my case, I must agree with this whole heartedly. I don’t sit down and decide what to write. Thoughts ran around feely in my mind and I just let them pour out onto paper. For as long as I can remember I have had a head full of thoughts and beautiful pictures, but I wasn’t able to get them down on paper until I was eight years old. I began using a computer keyboard to communicate with the world. It was such a thrill to watch my thoughts take shape and my pictures come to life. It was an amazing feeling to finally be able to give of myself to others in the form of stories and poems.

Being autistic and non-verbal made it very difficult to express myself through early childhood, but in kindergarten I was given a wonderful gift, an assistant, who through the years has turned out to be an amazing mentor and friend. With support from Janet, my assistant, I have been able to fulfill a wonderful dream and share my writing with so many people who have always encouraged me to be the best I can be.

If I could only get one point across to everyone who reads my book, it would be that everyone has fears, but never let them stop you from living out your dreams. Whether you’re handicapped or “normal” you have dreams and aspirations for your life, don’t let anyone take those away from you. Live your life to the fullest and be happy.