As I stated in the opening post, each school has four pillars that supports it -administration, students, parents, and teachers.  To ensure success each pillar must consistently support a school with compassion and courage as it does it’s best to teach child and work through contingencies. If that is done properly the pillars will be a sound and strong structure.

Far too often we forget what those pillars rest upon. It is the foundation of everything in any society, whether it is a school system, form of government, or family. That foundation is communication, an open flow of information readily available.

The number one reason something fails is because of a lack of communication. You can be the best organizer in the world.  However if you do not communicate in a timely and effective manner nothing will be done properly. Sometimes people will intentionally make communication vague to protect themselves.

Your child could be one of those people. If you have more than one child you probably already know where I am going with this. How many times have you stepped out of the room only to hear trouble brew between your sweet angels? You walk back into the room ask who started it only to see fingers are pointed everywhere.

Self-preservation is important to all living things. Including your child. Be the parent who understands their child is not always and angel. If you child will lie about how much involvement they had in why the garage window is broken it is probably safe to bet they had a hand in the trouble at school when a phone call home comes.

When a negative report comes home, don’t assume the teacher, principal or superintendent aren’t doing their jobs. Don’t be the parent who flies into the office full of Parent Pride because your child has been issued a detention.

It is my hope that while in this week of blog posts I highlighted many ways that you can improve your supportive pillar and find success. As you work on strengthening your pillar understand that it is all built on strong two-way communication.

Do not be afraid to speak when something needs to be said. Do not be afraid to ask a question when you do not understand. Be the example of open communication and you will see others follow you.

When you communicate to anyone, consistently, with courage and compassion you will begin to find you rarely need to worry about many of your contingencies.

Parent Pride is sometimes irrational, uncompromising and, at times, just plan nasty. Parent Pride is the most difficult thing for a teacher to find a solution to in the field of education.

What Is Parent Pride

When I talk about Parent Pride I am talking about when a parent raises a concern with a teacher, principal or coach about their child and the words the parent uses sound like it is in the best interest of their child, but the parent is more worried about their reputation than the wellbeing of their child.

It usually happens on the sidelines of every peewee sport from tee-ball to basketball.  Those parents who push their child and take it out on the coach when their child isn’t a starter or playing right field. While this is all too common in sports it happens in the classroom and parent teacher conferences.

Most of the time when Parent Pride strikes, the child who the parent is “standing up for” understands why the teacher, principal or coach made that choice.  Which is what makes Parent Pride all the worse, because they are pushing their child to do something they might not want to do in an unhealthy and potentially embarrassing way.

How To Stop Parent Pride

Most of you reading this will not fall victim to the clutches of Parent Pride. Simply because you are reading this and that shows that you are aware and in tune to ways that you can be the best parent of your child.

The easiest way to avoid it is when a teacher, principal or coach makes a decision you are unhappy with take a moment to try to consider all the variables in the equation. Maybe your child really wasn’t the best that day and the teacher had to make the call for what was best for the entire class.

Courage Is The Key

The best way to ensure that you don’t have to take time to defend your child from a coach, principal or teacher from making a decision that you know is influenced by another parent’s pride is to is to stop Parent Pride from getting to them.

You’ve been to games, concerts, awards ceremonies where you have heard other parents complain and say they are going to set so and so straight. Be an ally to your child’s school and use your personal relationships with other families to help explain why a decision was made.

If you calm the flames of Parent Pride before it reaches the school it will prevent it from spreading like wildfire. Because once one parent uses their pride to push out other children some parents will feel the only way to give their kid a fair shake is to fight fire with fire.

In the end when you fight fire with fire you will only have a pile of ashes a great structure once stood.

It would be great it everything went according to plan, but unfortunately Murphy’s Law will come a long and make whatever can go wrong, completely fail. Just as it happens in life, so does it happen in education. When that happens parents are the key to a school having success.

As your child progresses through their education they will have opportunities to go on field trips starting as early as kindergarten and progressing until graduation.

Chaperones Are Great But…

The best way to help and ensure that your child has a safe and enjoyable experience when they go on a field trip is to be involved as a parent. Most parents think the only way to be involved is to be a chaperone. That is not true.

The chaperones are the last part of the field trip that a teacher needs help with. The planning and fund raising are the most crucial parts and usually the parts the teacher has to do alone.

I recently took my band on a trip to Atlanta, GA. I had a wonderful group of parents. We met before the trip was even a definite possibility. I wanted to make sure all parents were open to the idea of the trip and I wanted to find answers to questions before they were even asked.

Helping the Teacher Answer Questions

This was the first time the band has taken an over night field trip.  While I have taken my other bands on over night trips this was something entirely new to this community.

I had to get answers to important questions like:

• How to get the information to all parents?
• What the best fundraisers would be for our community and families?
• Would all families be able to afford to send their child?
• If a family can’t afford to send their child, how can that child get help?

Some teachers, especially new teachers, don’t understand the community enough to be able to answer those questions.  That is where they need helpful parents.

Field Trip Contingency and Compassion

Because, I had strong parent involvement as we planned the trip I found that I didn’t have to worry about any contingency plans. Parents knew what to expect because they had a say in process.

Parents who were chaperones knew what the school expected because they were able to come familiar with the school’s policies and field trip guidelines as well. Because of the parents understood some of the complicated rules that schools have showed compassion as we took extra time to make sure that we were in compliance with those rules.

In the end if you use your compassion as a parent and become involved to ensure that all children, including your child, has a great experience from the planning aspect of the trip to trip itself teachers and families won’t need to worry about many contingency plans.

So next time your child comes home and says the teacher is planning to take a field trip send a note in to see how you can help support the school and offer your talents where you can.

Your child’s teachers are working every day to create a consistent environment so all of their students, including your child can succeed. But as school budgets get cut and class sizes get larger teachers are hard pressed to give as much individual attention to children as they would like.  Your child’s teacher needs a partner in your child’s education and that partner is you!

I am a parent as well as a teacher.  When my children go to school I want them to be in an environment where they can learn and be able to succeed.  I will help my child succeed every time, but I have to know what the teacher expects.  I am sure you are the same way.  So how do you know what your teacher expects?

Knowing Teacher’s Expectations

Teachers are always trying to communicate their expectation effectively.  With technology at everyone’s fingertips communication is even easier.

Teachers use a class syllabus, online grade books, a class website, an online calendar, some teachers even post their lesson plans online.

Class Syllabus

Many teachers will send home a paper syllabus with their expectations.  Not only with their classroom rules, but it will outline major test and assignments.  This is the least amount of technology use for you, but with MS Publisher and Apple’s Pages program these once boring piece of information are becoming more useful for parents.

Online Grade Book

Just about every school uses an online grade book.  Parents can log in and see exactly what grades their child has at anytime of the year.  No more waiting until midterm or the end of the grading period.

Class Website

For my band class, I have a website that is hosted by Wikispaces.  More teachers are using websites each year.  Some schools require website from all their teachers.  Important dates, project materials, even classroom forms are uploaded to the website to help students and parents.

Online Calendar and Lesson Plans

More teachers have been using the Google Calendar App since it is a free public calendar that can be used.  Many teachers will load the assignments on to their calendar and still have their students copy the dates into their daily planners.

Even lesson plans posted online can show students and parents exactly what will be taught throughout the week.  Some online grade books come with the ability to show lesson plans, other teachers post them to their websites.

What You Can Do

The unfortunate thing is that many times the students will still act like they had no idea an assignment was due.  That is where the teachers need your help as a parent.  They need a partner.

When your child brings home their syllabus, or you check the teacher’s website, lesson plans or online calendar take out your personal calendar and mark those important dates like big test and projects.

That way when you won’t be running to Walmart at 11:00 PM the day before your child’s history project is due.  You can work the glue and glitter into your normal shopping list. Check every few weeks.

The most successful students in my class are successful because their parents care about what my grade book, online calendar, and website says.  This helps you stay on top of your child’s progress.

Teachers have about 40-60 minutes a day to teach a class where your child could be 1 of 30 students.  To ensure that your child becomes a successful student, become a supporting pillar in your child’s education and use the time when your child is your 1 of 1 and help support the teacher’s expectations consistently.

All schools have a support structure that keeps them running efficiently.  I call the support structure the Four Pillars of a School District.  Those pillars are – administration (principals, superintendents, and guidance counselors), students, students’ parents, and teachers.

It is very easy to understand how administrators, teachers, and students are part of the support structure of a successful district, but sometimes parents don’t understand how much influence they have on the success of their school.

Booster Parents

Being a band director gives me the opportunities to work very close with parents in my booster organizations.  In my Band Boosters I get to see the best of the best when if comes to parents supporting a school program, but I have also seen some of the worst.

The first school that I ever taught at had a very unstable pillar when it came to parents supporting the school and the band program.  It wasn’t that I didn’t have the support of the majority of the parents, it was only a few parents.

The Old Guard

These parents were considered the “old guard”.  When I arrived there were only three parents who ran the booster group and they were used to controlling everything.  As my program grew more parents became involved and the original three parents saw their power become diluted.

The peak of these few parents battling me and the majority of the newly involved parents came when the band was preparing to attend a trip to a bowl game.  The parents had raised enough money for each student to have $100 reduced from their trip price.

The “old guard” parents felt the money should not be given to the students but should be kept in the band booster general fund.  When it came up for a vote to use the money raised to help the students attend the trip the motion passed with only three opposed to the motion.

These parents were more concerned with the ability to control and have their way openly voted against helping the very students that the parent organization was founded to help.  Fortunately, the more parents that became involved the easier it was to fight the battles that helped the majority of the students and not the few.

Pillars of Support

You are a good parent.  You may not be perfect, but since you are taking the time to read this that means you are working to become the best parent you can be.  I want to help show you how you can be a strong supporting pillar of your child’s school.

If you are a strong and active supporter it will protect the programs you child loves and doesn’t let any parents who are the “old guard” set an agenda that isn’t in the best interest of children.

Over the course of this week I will be posting about how you, as a parent can help fight things like Parent Pride, become a partner in your child’s success, and strengthen the parent pillar of your school district using consistency, contingency, compassion and courage.

Keep in mind, as your teachers build great programs for your children they need strong pillars to be the framework of their success for your child and it is difficult to worry about little details like paint color in a house when you keep tearing down walls to make sure your frame is sound.