I saved the best post for last!  As a mom of a 4 year old, 2 year old and 8  month old, I learned the value of laughter!

Laughter is a good medicine. It balms the soul when the waves of anxiety buffet.  It clears the mind when lists and deadlines loom. It reminds us that life is still fun even if we do not enjoy the responsibilities consuming our thoughts.

Honestly, stop and think: have you laughed today? When I start taking life way too seriously, when the house and the kids make me respond in short, curt answers, I stop what I am doing and find a way to ease up.

What is there to laugh at? A silly hat on a toddler’s head.  A preschooler magically turning into a doggie.  A dog scooting its rear across the floor.

When we let our lists and worries control our mood, we need to stop, drop, and laugh!

Close the laptop. Turn the phone on silent. Turn up the stereo and dance! Sing a silly song at the top of your lungs. Tickle your baby until her laughter is so contagious your grey skies are bright blue.

Feel it. Be in that moment.

Your back, your neck, your head, your mood – will all thank you for caring for your mental health. Of all the daily multi-vitamins to take, your laughter is the most important.

What have you laughed at today?

Today’s post follows naturally after yesterday’s encouraging words about letting go of perfectionism. One of my biggest snares as a parent is when I compare myself to other moms.  This leads to extreme frustration, disappointment and unrealistic expectations.

I will be the first to admit that I compare myself to others way too often.  When I visit a friend’s house and it is gorgeously clean and tastefully decorated, I feel like a failure as a mother with my dirty floors and empty photo frames. After such a visit I end up going home and stressing myself out cleaning. All of a sudden I am an unsatisfied, unhappy mama.

What we often don’t realize is that those “perfect” friends that we compare ourselves to, really don’t have it all together either. Everyone struggles with something – it might not be the same struggles but they are just as overwhelming and exhausting.

A few rules to keep in mind:

Do not compare your messy home to her clean one – you don’t know how stressed out cleaning makes her.

Do not compare her social life to your lack of one – you don’t know how lonely she feels at night.

Do not compare your kids to her kids – this can be especially damaging to your children! You will be essentially passing on the “you don’t measure up” sickness to them.

Do not compare your marriage to her marriage – every relationship has horribly awful moments, even if you do not see hers.

Do not compare her perfect appearance to your barely put together one – you don’t know her private insecurities about her body.

Not only does comparing yourself to someone else leave you extremely unhappy, it is misleading and false.  We all have struggles, we all have nights where we cry and scream.  So instead of comparing, find ways to reach out.  If you struggle with something, someone else probably does too – be honest about it and help them out!

Have you ever fallen prey to the beast of false comparisons?

As if mothering three very dependent young children, volunteering in the community, and blogging full time was not enough, I tried to be perfect at everything. Let me tell you, that did not last long at all.

A lesson I learned early on, that might have saved my sanity, was: it is ok to let let a few things go.

In college, I worked 4 part-time jobs in addition to full time classes. In order to stay alive I had to realize that receiving a 4.0, while desirable, was not something I needed to kill myself to achieve.

In my family, I made priorities.  The most important priority is my mental health. If I lose myself to anxiety, my kids will be the first to suffer.  To keep my sanity, I have to let go of perfectionism and live with my best.

My laundry sits in baskets as opposed to being folded neatly in the drawers.  The kids eat boxed dinners once or so a week, as opposed to organic whole foods for every single meal. There is clutter on table tops and toys on the floor.  But I have to let these things go. I have to focus on enjoying my babies now.

It is almost impossible to be everything for everybody.  I know I can’t do it!  When I was pregnant with my 3rd child, Lizzie was 3 and David was not yet 2.  I backed off from many of my volunteer activities and allowed friends and family to help me.  Talk about humbling!

The sooner you let go of this perfect-mother image you have in your head that you will never live up to, the sooner you will be the most amazing mom and wife you ever have been.

Now instead of wearing myself out with chores and discipline issues, I am reading books on a couch littered with toys. I make cookies in a cluttered kitchen.  I clean up one room so we have a quiet place to play dolls (and escape the madness of the other rooms in the house).

How have you let go of perfectionism? Has it made you a better parent?

I am a mom of a 4 year old, 2 year old and 8 month old. Life is downright chaotic and stressful!  With a baby on my hip I help the 2 year old pour his own chocolate milk and answer questions about why my 4 year old’s computer game is not working.

It never ends.

I discovered 5 simple ways to keep my sanity and I hope they help you too. Yesterday’s tip was to ask for help. Which is a lot easier said than done.

The next tip is to get out of the house.  Again, easier said than done, but please do it!

Picking up after toddlers and preschoolers while they are still awake is downright maddening. In my house, there is always a chore or a room that makes me feel defeated and stressed out.  And I learned a stressed out mama leads to stressed out kids that stress out the mama more. It is a very vicious cycle.

I have a very long drive way out in the country. When we are driving each other batty, I will put shoes on the kids and march us all out the door to walk to the mailbox. Just getting outside, away from the dishes and the four tiny walls, provides a sense of relief and peace.

When weather was too-hot-to-handle, we went to the mall. I tried the pool, but that was always a huge undertaking with children so small.  The library is another fabulous place and I wish we had a children’s museum closer.

Wherever you go, enjoy it! Make a conscious effort to change your mood and don’t hold onto your anxiety.

Then, when you return home, take a deep breath and relax. It will be nice to be back home as opposed to the overwhelming rooms it was before.

What are the places you go when your family is driving each other crazy?

I am very excited to write for DrGreene.com this week. I am a young mother (27 years) of three very young children. Lizzie is 4 years old, David 2, and Lucy is 8 months.  I am always on the search for healthy ways to increase my energy (and getting more rest, while the best way, is not always possible).

Even more than physical health, I am constantly monitoring my emotional health.  My biggest fear is that I will be so stressed, exhausted and overwhelmed that I will over react to small mishaps. My kids need a level-headed mother, someone that uses logic more than emotions to handle daily life.

This week I will be sharing 5 tips I learned that help me not go insane with such young children.

The first: ask for help.

I was in the airport, putting Lucy in my Ergo baby carrier. As I was reaching behind my back to clip it, I heard a voice behind me say, “Can I help you with that?”

I smiled and responded, “sure, thank you! Usually I can do this pretty quickly on my own.”

He kindly clipped it and said, “Yes, moms can do anything on their own.”

Don’t we think that? How many of us moms think we can do anything and everything on our own?

Some people think asking for help admits your weakness. For me though, I am always admitting my inabilities, so that is not it! My problem is that I don’t want to inconvenience anyone else.  I don’t want to interrupt someone’s life by calling them and asking them to watch my kids so I can go grocery shopping.

First, it is not an inconvenience if you ask someone that has had children before. They can relate and empathize and feel amazing if they give the help they wish they had received.

But I also discovered something: If I offer to help my friends out, I feel like I am not using them as much. So I will call Tasha, ask her if she needs to go shopping and then the next time I need to go somewhere I know who to ask.

Of course, I really just need to get over it and pick up that phone and ask. That time of getting the help I need is irreplaceable!  I am so much stronger and able to accomplish more when I accept the help instead of banging my head against the wall trying to do it myself.

What about you? Do you ask for help? How did you overcome that first initial fear of it?