We live in a world of iPads, flat screen televisions, smart phones, GPS navigation systems, electric cars, the Internet. Our children are growing up in the fast-moving digital age.

Now, toddlers can learn to count, learn to say the ABCs, learn to draw, learn their first words and recognize animal sounds, all on the iPad. At the touch of a screen, you can download all kinds of applications for your child. It is amazing, and a little scary. They are growing up learning to use a smart phone before they can even talk. Children’s television programs are abundant, from educational to entertaining.

There is much dialogue about the extent of technology our children are immersed in, whether voluntarily, as permitted by their parents, or involuntarily, where they are surrounded by these things when they go to school, to a mall, or even, their friends’ homes.

When my son was 17.5 months old, he could operate the television remote control, and activate my smart phone by swiping the lock key from left to right with his finger. Similarly, he knew how to use the iPad’s touchscreen with his ever handy finger – swiping the screen, pressing on the relevant applications, even pressing the Home button to exit an application. I was convinced then that before long, he would be programming his own software.

That may be an exaggeration, but truly, I worry that I’m allowing my children to be too involved in the digital world. I don’t even want to think about them being old enough to get on the computer and start using the Internet. That’s another world out there, and probably, another post in the future about how we manage that. In the same breath, I do not want to deny them of any of the technology that surrounds them. It is inevitable that as they get older, they will be doing more of television watching, iPad playing and smart phone usage.

I believe that the key to this, to get the balance of these activities right, is that children should also immerse themselves with “old-fashioned” activities.

Remember when we were toddlers? When we were kids? When we were teenagers? How did we learn?
We played in the sandbox to learn about textures. We learned to stack blocks. We learned to sort shapes with shape sorter toys. We played with water, using cups and other vessels to learn about volume. We learned to open and close lids on boxes, to remove and replace objects in those boxes. We learned to draw with crayons on paper. We learned to read with picture books. We played with doll houses, train sets, jigsaw puzzles, board games. We played on swings, see saws and merry-go-rounds.

The key here is balance.

We want them to learn how to navigate the digital world. We also want the boys to play with traditional toys. We let them watch some television, but we also make sure they go outside and play on swings, slides, monkey bars, and get some fresh air. We let them play with the piano application on the iPad, but we also ensure they play with the actual toy piano, one that they can touch, feel the keys, and how the keys give under the light pressure of their fingers.

When they are much older, we will eventually allow some time on a computer. However, we will also want them to learn how to use their hands, like put together a simple piece of furniture, or fix their bicycle. We want them to literally, get their hands dirty.

As parents, we need to be the ones who strike the right balance for our children. Good luck to you. And me!

Are you concerned about the amount of technology your children are involved in? How do you ensure the right balance of television, computer games and the Internet, with more traditional means of play and entertainment?

Chicken pie instead of the traditional turkey for Thanksgiving. Black forest birthday cake every year. Saturday family dinner out. Ice cream on Sunday afternoons. Those were the answers of friends when asked, “What’s your family tradition?” I have a confession: when asked the same question, sadly, I came up with nothing.

Not a thing.

My little family of four, is relatively new. We’ve been married just nearly six years and our sons are three and a half and 15 months old. Most couples go into a relationship carrying traditions from their respective families – be it decorating the Christmas tree a week before the actual date; opening presents the night before; collecting personal ornaments, each with a story; celebrating birthdays with an experience and no cake; pizza night every Friday and game night every Saturday.

We came into our marriage empty handed, as far as traditions went. Our families were not big on celebrating occasions, especially birthdays and anniversaries, so we ended up being the same. I do however, feel that family traditions are important.

Why are traditions important?
Traditions help create memories. Traditions help impart our life values to our children. Traditions help give children a sense of identity. Traditions help create a sense of belonging. Traditions offer a sense of security.

I believe we have a wonderful opportunity to create new traditions with our children.

Fun times ahead
Fun game nights every Friday. Swimming every Saturday with Papa. Home cooked weekend breakfasts of eggs and French toast. Hot chocolate on Sunday nights, to ease the children into a new school week. Library trips every week to pick a new book out. Nightly ritual of story time and bedtime cuddles.

Sitting at the table every night as a family for dinner and exchanging our daily stories. Baking cookies every end of the month together, just the boys and I, purely because we can. Hiking as a family every so often. Scrapbooking every birthday to remember the year that passed. Annual trips to a beach to build sandcastles and laze in the sun.

I want my children to grow up with fond memories of doing things with their parents, be it on special occasions, or just something we did as a family. I want them to grow up with a strong sense of who they are, who their parents are, what we believe in. I want my sons to grow up with joy, and the desire to carry on these family traditions, and pass them on to their own families when the time comes.

Most of all, I want my children to know that their parents love them, and did their best to create a home that was safe, sound, joyful and wondrous.

Do you have family traditions? How do you feel about them and what are they?

My husband does not remember birthdays or anniversaries. He’s not a giver of flowers or fancy chocolate. He does however, fill the gas in my car when it’s running low because he knows that I don’t have time to do that. He goes out of his way to get me my favorite brand of ice cream. He looks after our boys on weekends so I can have some ‘me’ time. He works very hard to ensure that we live a comfortable life. That is my husband’s love language.

Writing as a love language
I am a rememberer of birthdays, anniversaries and any other special occasion. I am a gift giver and a greeting card sender. I am a memory keeper. I take photographs of my children, of life’s milestones, and everyday joys. I write in my blog about what motherhood means to me, and document my children’s milestones and daily shenanigans. That is my love language.

Children’s love language
My oldest is three and a half, and is speech delayed. He doesn’t yet understand what “I love you” means. Even through all the challenges that come with a speech delay, my son is loving and affectionate. He greets us in the morning with a cheery “Hi!”. He hugs his little brother, and takes his hand when we go out. He hugs with wild abandon. He’s my cuddler and snuggler. That is his love language.

My littlest doesn’t like to take my hand when we walk together (except his brother’s). He doesn’t always enjoy his brother’s over-boisterous hugs. He does however, like to back up and sit down on my lap when we’re on the floor together. When he’s tired, he puts his head on my shoulder. He hugs everyone’s legs. He kisses with enthusiasm. He dances when the music comes on, and even when it ends, because he loves making us smile. That is his love language.

It doesn’t have to be said all the time. It doesn’t have to be shown with presents or flowers or cards. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. Your love language can be made up of the tiniest things – it is in the way he rests his hand gently on the small of your back. It is in the way she cuts off the crusts on your sandwich. It is in the look in their eyes when they see you in the morning. It is in the hugs they give you before they go to sleep. That, is love language.

What is your love language?

A year ago, for the first five months of his life, I spent every night holding my second son to sleep. Chest to chest, his head would be lolling slightly on my shoulder, mouth open just so, tired eyes finally closed.

I would feel his weight, comfortable in my arms, all 15 pounds of soft baby and fuzzy hair, warmly nestled where he should be. I listened to his gentle breathing, slowing, as he fell into deeper sleep. Only then, did I dare lower him into his crib, tucking him under the linen swaddle blanket. I would watch my 4 month old for a few more minutes, willing him fervently to stay asleep. Then quietly, I would stealthily back out of his room. I would miss his solid baby-ness in my now empty arms as soon as I shut the door.

Arms never empty
I joked once that with two children now, my arms will never truly be empty. That is my truth, and a reality I love. A year ago, no sooner would I lay the baby down for his nap or bedtime, my toddler would come barreling into me, throwing his arms around my neck and I would be surprised at how big he seemed. As we walked hand in hand, his small one in my slightly big one, I marveled again at how much he has grown, his fingers once a third the size of mine, now half as long. His head, a mop of messy brown hair, was once fuzzy like his baby brother’s. I mussed his not-so-little head, and wondered when he grew so tall, he had reached my waist.

Growing up fast
That toddler is now an even taller preschooler, the only remnants of toddlerhood, his still-chubby cheeks. The baby is now the toddler, his baby-ness still evident, but in elongated arms and legs, and less so in all the things that 15 month olds do – walking, running, climbing, saying words, feeding himself, drinking water from a cup.

So much has changed, and yet, nothing has changed. I still hold their small (but bigger) hands, fingers entwined. My oldest still cuddles with me, sitting in my lap, arms around my neck like before. His little brother still loves to be held to sleep, although only for a minute. There is so much I still do for them, but so much that I don’t anymore.

This is the tangible part of motherhood I love so much. Feeling their hands in mine, hearing their voices and laughs, squeezing them close to me. This is love in all its physicalness.

What part of your children’s physicalness do you enjoy the most?

What is it about becoming a mother that transforms a woman?

There is the heart (and hip) expanding. Did you know you could love that much? Did you think it could hurt so much to see your child in pain or ill? Did you know how fearful you would become, of the world you live in? Did you even realize that love multiplies with each child you have? Did you know how much space you had in your heart until your children came along?

Knowledge and Discovery
Then, there is the sudden realization (and relief) that you can handle the ins and outs of diaper changing, baby feeding and bathing. The knowledge that you may never sleep the same again, but you know you will somehow survive. There is the sudden discovery that you can be taken to the edge of your personality, and yet you survive. I bet you didn’t realize the depth of strength you have, or that sometimes, you have to dig deep to get through the day. I wager you didn’t realize the amount of patience that is in you, when build the umpteenth Lego tower, or play Barbie tea time for an hour.

You Thought You Knew
What about all the things you thought you knew? You know, when you thought that children eat what they are given, and sleep when they are supposed to. You thought you knew what to expect because you read so many parenting books, and how-to’s, before the baby was born. You read all the blogs and websites, about sleep, weaning, transitioning to solids, play, milestones, vaccinations, the best books to read to your baby, the most educational toys. Then your baby decides pretty much when he wants to sleep, what he wants to eat, and how much more he prefers the box in which the latest and greatest toy came in.

Heart and Body Changed Forever
When you become a mother, your mind fills with thoughts of your children. Your heart, full to bursting. Your arms, always feeling the weight of one or more. Your hands, always busy. Your belly, a permanent pooch, a reminder of the days when they lived beneath your heartbeat. Your legs, ever moving, chasing after one or more little ones. Your feet, looking gigantic next to tiny toes.

When you become a mother, the transformation is astounding, nothing short of amazing. Just like your children.

How did you transform when you became a parent?